Depression and the Inner Child: Reclaiming Your Joy - Rachel Devine
Depression often has roots in childhood wounds, faulty programming, and distorted negative self-perception, which arise from childhood. Another factor of depression is living in the past. When we spend a lot of time in the past it usually will bring on depression and anxiety, especially if you are lamenting over grief or misgivings. However, by understanding the role of the inner child and utilizing tools to transform limiting beliefs, you can counteract depression’s darkness.
The Inner Child’s Impact
According to inner child expert John Bradshaw, author of Homecoming, those carrying inner child wounds are particularly susceptible to depression in adulthood. Events can trigger childhood defenses and unmet needs such as:
Beliefs you are somehow defective due to emotional invalidation or abuse by parents.
Abandonment depression from unstable caregiver bonds or relationships or prolonged grief.
Reawakened despair from a traumatic childhood.
Bradshaw states: “Depression is anger turned inward. Most depression has to do with some loss, either real or symbolic, and anger about powerlessness that cannot be expressed outwardly.” Remember you only have power over yourself and not over other people, circumstances or outcomes. Connecting to and counseling your inner child compassionately can aid healing.
Start Living
Life is short, get out and start living, even if you just take some baby steps. It’s important to be around positive people. When you are out, enjoy the moment, stay in the moment and don’t lament about the past or imagined future failures. Just stay in the moment and give yourself a break from the angst and negativity of depression. Being around friends and family can change your mindset to one of happiness.
Reframing Your Narrative
Cognitive behavioral therapy examines how your inner narrative fuels depression. Catch negative self-talk that is reinforcing falsehoods like worthlessness, failure, or isolation. Also watch out for feelings of despair that come from spending time too much time in the past or with grieving losses. Counter by consciously nurturing uplifting affirmations to transform toxic inner dialog:
“I accept myself even in suffering.” “This pain will pass." "I am worthy of love." “It’s okay to be sad, but I choose happiness.” “I am a child of God and I am healing.”
A life coach can also be a great resource in times of feeling down.
Visualize Ideal Scenarios
Imagining best case scenarios helps rewire your subconscious expectations from anticipating defeat towards envisioning success. Picture yourself joyful, embraced by community, and excelling despite current challenges. What would your thriving life look, sound, and feel like?
As depression expert Dr. Susan Johnson relates: “Depression can sometimes be like a thunderstorm, strong and overpowering. But like every storm, it will pass. Hold onto that hope.”
Try to fall asleep with an image of yourself feeling happy and loved by you. Remember you are the anchor that will help you during the storms of life. Depend on yourself to pull you out of the funk. Just imagine a happy image and fall asleep with the feelings of being happy, loved and content. Do this for 30 days and see what positive changes occur.
The Light Awaits You
However dark the void seems now, understand pain is temporary while your spirit is eternal. Manifest nurturing relationships, pursuits, and environments to shelter your inner light when exposed. You may feel fragile, but never broken. Healing flows when you’re ready.
As Bradshaw advised: “The possibility of joy is always available. The place to find it is to go to the darkness. Don’t run away from the darkness; go through it. You have to be willing to face sadness.” Healing happens when you go through the fire and come out on the other side in a new and positive light. Don’t fight it, just go with the flow.
When depression strikes, be gentle with yourself. Release judgment or pressure to “fix yourself” immediately. Transformation unfolds step by step when you courageously explore the shadows. Let compassion, not fear of imperfection, guide you to wholeness. These steps will help you on your way to the the light. That light always awaits you.
Mental health services resource.
Rachel Devine is the author of, The Third Road & Lessons from the Needle in a Haystack and has a new book coming out soon, Discover the Power of the Secret Within.