Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff - Choose Peace over Conflict - Rachel Devine
Life is too short to become stressed over every little thing other people do that we don't like. Remember, you can't control anyone but yourself. When someone irritates you, remember that you have the choice of how to respond. Typically, we respond with a reactive angry one, because the other person hit a nerve. What if we took a moment to just breathe and decided that we didn't really want to give this person the power to ruin our day?
Let's look at some techniques to choose peace over conflict.
Count to Ten
When you encounter someone you know is hard to deal with and they go into a rant that sets you off, stop and count to ten, leave the room or take some deep breaths. Taking a few seconds to compose yourself will help you have more control and, in turn, be able to have more control over your emotions and how you respond. Try not to react, rather, respond with a level head. This is key to keeping your cool during conflict.
Take your power back
When we allow others to ruin our day because they are rude to us, we have handed over our power to the other person. Picture it this way. The other person has a remote control and presses a button that says, ruin their day, or a button that says, make them angry or make them stressed. Don't allow others to push your buttons. Take the remote control back and in turn you will be in control. Remember, you always have the choice of how you will respond to others' rudeness. You always have the choice not to react in an angry manner. Remember, they are not ruining your day, you are choosing to let them ruin your day.
Detach with love
Detachment is the key to serenity. You might live with someone who is totally obnoxious and difficult to live with. The key is to detach from the person with love. In other words, observe what is happening from an outsider's standpoint rather than get emotionally involved in the encounter. Just act as an observer of what is happening and then react from that state of mind. You will be able to be more rational in walking away from the conflict. Remember, if you leave the room, the person has no one to fight with. This will give you peace. Don't focus on the person who is hard to live with; rather, focus on your own life and detach with love. It’s important to recognize ways to overcome the obstacles that come your way in order to be happy with your life.
Daily peaceful techniques
Doing a daily meditation will help you get more centered in a peaceful state of mind. You can do a number of different meditations, from being in your happy place, to listening to a peaceful meditation from YouTube. Perhaps you want to get quiet in a room alone and meditate with peaceful music and add some scented candles to the mix. Taking a nice relaxing bath will also help you feel more at peace.
Forgiveness is an act of self-love
Forgiveness is the key to getting rid of resentment and bitterness. Our resentments usually cause an irrational response to someone pushing our buttons. Forgiveness is an act of self-love. When you forgive the other person, you are releasing the venom that is going through your veins in the form of bitterness. Releasing that bitterness will release you from the stress that causes health issues. Also, ask yourself: Will this conflict matter tomorrow, a month or a year from now? Sometimes what is important in the heat of the moment, will not be important tomorrow. A good slogan many use is, "How important is it?" Ask yourself that during the conflict, you might find that it isn’t important at all, in the scheme of your life. This is a great slogan to help you let go and forgive.
In conclusion, with a little awareness, you can become peaceful again if you take your power back, detach with love, and forgive the person you are in conflict with. Remember, this person is your greatest teacher. Those who can push our buttons have much to teach us. You might one day look back on your life and realize the person who pushed your buttons taught you more than anyone else.
I want to end with this great quote by Dr. Wayne Dyer,“If you have the choice of being right or being kind, choose kind.”
Find purpose, peace and discover the power within with my book, The Third Road.
Rachel Devine is the author of The Third Road, a book that gently guides one to the power within and their purpose in life, and Lessons from the Needle in a Haystack, a spiritual book on dating and relationships.
Devine Intervention - The Healing Center website.
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