Online Dating Tips - Rachel Devine

Online dating has become the most popular way to meet a potential partner. The convenience alone is a plus for most people. There are several different online dating sites that I will briefly cover, however, your internet profile is the key to connecting with someone you are compatible with. I will give you some dating profile examples, as well as show you how to write a dating profile. I will also cover dating site profile headlines and handles. I will also give you some very good online dating tips. I will also outline dating profile bio examples for males and examples of dating profiles for females. Finding true love can be exhausting, however, these tips should help you along your journey to finding true love.

Internet Dating Sites:

There are several internet dating sites that you can pay for. JDate is an on-line dating site for Jewish singles. There is Our Time, another online dating site for people over 50 years old. Catholic Match has a dating website for Catholic singles. Match.com is another on-line dating site for all types of single people.  

Then you have the free Internet dating sites. The most popular one is Plenty of Fish. There are paid sites and free sites, which one is better? It stands to reason that the paid sites have more serious daters than the free sites, although usually the same people on the paid sites are also on the free site. You might be better off with a paid site, but either way, you really need to adhere to boundaries to keep yourself safe. There are scammers on whatever site you choose.

Internet dating can be challenging, to say the least. My best advice regarding Internet dating would be to keep it light, don’t spend a lot of time with it, and keep your search diversified. What I mean by that is, do other things to meet people. You can meet people at a dance, on a meetup event or at a church event. Keep your options open.

 You can search until you are blue in the face, but when you meet your soul mate, chances are it will be suddenly, quite unexpectedly and not within your control. This is called fate or perhaps cupid striking with purpose. We can plan on meeting someone soon, or at a dance, or off the Internet, but quite often it just happens randomly; perhaps in a supermarket, a park, or a gas station. The more positive energy you put into the universe the better chance you have of connecting with a good match. The key is not to get discouraged by Internet dating, the dances, and all the rejection one might encounter. If a guy/woman doesn’t connect with you, then move on. They were just not a good match. It’s not easy to feel rejected.

Your internet profile is extremely important to connect with others. Let’s start with your dating profile pictures.

Dating Profile Pictures:

I would say a rule of thumb is not to put up a picture that is older than six months. Just put your best pictures up where you are smiling, and if you have pictures having fun in some areas of life, by all means use those pictures, too. For instance, a fun shot at a barbecue or the beach is great. Men and women are visual creatures. You should have at least two bust shots where your face is very clear. Additionally, two full shots, meaning a picture of you from head to toe. If you don’t have a picture, many people will not respond to your emails. It’s that simple. I always feel if a guy doesn’t have a picture up he could be married. I prefer to contact men with pictures.

Dating site profile headline:

Let’s explore your dating site headline. This is the one line men/women will see before anything else. You want it to reflect your personality in some way to indicate what you are seeking. Always keep it in a positive tone. I will list a few that I have seen on sites that are good.

•       What a difference a date makes 

•       Seeking true love

•       Looking for my last first date

•       Beach walker

•       Pilot to co-pilot 

•       Let’s dance 

I saw a very disturbing, negative headline recently that said, “We are all going to die anyway.” Now, this might have been a dark, sarcastic, joke of a headline, but I would say keep your headline in a positive light. Come up with your own unique headline. 

Dating Site Profile Handle:

The next thing you need is a handle. This is the name that will pop up and the user name you will use to sign onto the Internet dating site.  Here are a few typical examples; try to use one that suits your personality:

•       Joe1965

•       SassyChic

•       Peacefultimes

•       Dancing Queen 

•       Lookingforyou

Try to make this your own so it reflects your intention or personality.

Examples of Dating Profile for Females:

The write-up and the pictures are the main focus of your profile, but in all honesty, a lot of people just look at the picture to determine if they will email someone. However, some do read profiles. I had a mediocre write-up and just a head shot picture of myself and a picture of my dog, and I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t getting any hits when I started internet dating. This was not a very productive profile. Let’s explore my profile and how I made it become more successful.

I know some people who have professionals write-up their profiles and have professional photos taken. That is a choice you can make, but I think with a little knowledge, a good write-up is easy to do yourself. 

Now, the write-up. I am going to list two different ones and then elaborate on why the second one is better. 

“My friends would describe me as an easy person to get along with. I have a keen sense of humor and I don’t sweat the small stuff. I am humorous, adventurous, romantic, intuitive and spontaneous. I live a healthy life-style and I tend to lean toward organic foods. I exercise daily. I am in search for my best friend that can grow into a monogamous relationship. I want to meet someone who is confident enough to kick up his feet and show the child in him, yet a real respectful, fun gentleman at heart.” 

Revised & revamped dating profile with added information:

“My friends would describe me as an easy person to get along with. I have a keen sense of humor and I don’t sweat the small stuff. I am humorous, adventurous, romantic, intuitive and spontaneous. I live a healthy life-style and I tend to lean toward organic foods.  I am in search for my best friend that can grow into a monogamous relationship. 

My nature is generous, and I put a lot of time and effort into the man that is in my life with indulgences like arranging a nice candlelight dinner or a small unexpected gift. I put quality time into a relationship to help it nurture and grow into a healthy union. The foundation is built on trust, honesty and open communication. 

The man that would fit into my lifestyle would be confident, fun, and have a great sense of humor, with a respectful, kind personality.” 

Now, here is the key. The important difference in profile number 2 is that the focus is also on the guy, and not just on what the woman is all about. It conveys what she can contribute to the relationship and to him. Trust me when I tell you this is imperative to having a good write-up. When a man reads your profile and sees the way you will treat him, you are more likely to get a response. Of course, this all depends on whether he got past the pictures and actually reads your profile. Most profiles are a litany of the character traits the person possesses, but do not mention what one can contribute to the relationship and to their potential partner.

This gives you an edge. You want your profile to stand out among the crowd. It’s a competitive dating world out there, thousands upon thousands of men and women trying to find that one needle in the haystack. 

Now, the same holds true in reverse. If I read a man’s profile and he says he is a gentleman, opens the door, and treats a woman with the respect and kindness she deserves, that is a good indication of his personality. I want to connect with him, because he just said a lot of the things I am looking for that truly resonate for me and makes me feel like I want to meet him. 

Dating Profile example for a male:

I have a deep passion for adventure, my nature is generous and I have a great sense of humor. I enjoy having fun and keeping things light. I like finding new bistros or neighborhood restaurants to explore with you. 

I genuinely believe a woman should be treated with the utmost respect. I open doors, buy little gifts, and like spending good quality time with the woman who is in my life. I think there needs to be give and take in any relationship, with a good balance of honesty and respect. You should message me if you want an old-school romantic courtship. 

This profile lists several ways the man would contribute to the relationship, rather than just a list of a dozen things the man likes to do. In essence, the profile is conveying the message that says, “I am going to be part of making the relationship work.” And that equates to a man who is serious about a committed relationship. 

Online Dating First Message Example: 

The next step is to search out someone you want to send a message to. Personalizing your message will show you are interested and really did read the profile. Try to stay away from form-letter messages. They are very impersonal, and not a lot of effort is put into copying and pasting the same message. Also, try to only message people you are truly interested in, and not just grab a few without reading their profile and send messages in hopes that the quantity will bring you some results. Quantity is not quality, and you want to attract someone of interest.

A good message would be one where you take one or two qualities or things the other person likes to do and connect with that.

Here is a good first online dating message. You want to keep it simple, point out some common interests, which shows you read the profile and offer him/her to read your profile:

How are you? I see we have some things in common, like going to museums and traveling. I also like live bands. I liked reading your profile and find you interesting. Please check out my profile and see if the feeling is mutual. Maria

A friend of mine relayed these internet dating exchanges that I thought was interesting.

Maria wrote: 

How are you? I see we have a lot in common. I also like to have fun and I like to go out dancing. I have an amazing singing voice, it would be awesome to harmonize with you. Maria

Note, he put in his profile he likes harmonizing and has a great singing voice, so Maria responded to that. 

Jerry wrote back: 

Maria, 

“I apologize for the delay in getting back to you and am honored and flattered that you're interested! I know how hard it is to "put yourself out there." Dating is weird and online dating sites even weirder, and I've been reading your note, your profile and looking at your pics the last few days. You've said many of the "right" things but, for whatever reason, I'm just not feeling the connection. Strange how this works sometimes. I wish you the best of luck in your search for a terrific guy to harmonize with!”

Maria’s response: 

“Thanks for the note. I didn’t realize one could tell if there is a connection without meeting. A picture and some words cannot replace a warm smile, chemistry, the fragrant scent of another, or the connective dialogue. I am amazed, and yet not surprised. How do you really know you didn’t pass up the one? Just food for thought. In any case, I do appreciate your honesty.” Maria

My initial thought on this was that this man was decent enough to respond and I was actually impressed with his dating etiquette. He is a true gentleman. However, in my world, I find that meeting someone gives clarity to the connection with each other. Of course, he didn’t feel that way and I respect his feelings. I am sure there will be varying opinions on this. My take on it is that I like to go on one date/meeting with someone before ruling them out, provided I like their profile.

After two or three messages the man should initiate a phone call and if that goes well a first date. If that doesn’t happen and there seems to be endless messages, chances are the person is not ready to date or could be a scammer. At that point, you may want to move on.

In conclusion, internet dating can be a convenient and easy way to connect with people. However, there are pitfalls with any type of dating. Therefore, I would keep in mind that diversifying your search with face-to-face meetings like at a dance or a singes social event, is key to putting yourself out there in varioius ways and gives you better odds of connecting with someone who is just right for you.

Rachel Devine is the author of, Lessons from the Needle in a Haystack. Become a Magnet for True Love. This is a valuable handbook for dating.

Devine Intervention website