Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff - Choose Peace over Conflict - Rachel Devine
Life is too short to become stressed over every little thing other people do that we don't like. Remember, you can't control anyone but yourself. When someone irritates you, remember that you have the choice of how to respond. Typically, we respond with a reactive one. What if we took a moment to just breathe and decided that we didn't really want to give this person the power to ruin our day?
Let's look at some techniques to choose peace over conflict and not sweat the small stuff.
Life is too short to become stressed over every little thing other people do that we don't like. Remember, you can't control anyone but yourself. When someone irritates you, remember that you have the choice of how to respond. Typically, we respond with a reactive angry attitude, because the other person hit a nerve. Or perhaps the other person triggered us, which can be emotionally overwhelming. What if we took a moment to just breathe and decided that we didn't really want to give this person the power to ruin our day? Also, at times, it may not be the other person. It may be how you react to whatever happened.
Let's look at some techniques to choose peace over conflict.
Count to Ten
When you encounter someone you know is hard to deal with and they go into a rant that sets you off, stop and count to ten, leave the room or take some deep breaths. Taking a few seconds to compose yourself will help you have more control and, in turn, be able to have more control over your emotions and how you respond. Try not to react, rather, take a time-out and respond with a level head. This is key to keeping your cool during conflict. Abraham Lincoln said, “When angry count to 10, when very angry count to 100.”
Take your power back
When we allow others to ruin our day because they are rude to us, we have handed over our power to the other person. Picture it this way. The other person has a remote control and presses a button that says, “ruin their day,” or a button that says, “make them angry” or “make them stressed.” Don't allow others to push your buttons. Take the remote control back, and in turn, you will take back your power. Remember, you always have the choice of how you will respond to others' rudeness. They are not ruining your day; you are choosing to let them ruin your day.
Detach with love
Detachment is the key to serenity. You might live with someone who is totally obnoxious and difficult to live with. The key is to detach from the person with love. In other words, observe what is happening from an outsider's standpoint rather than get emotionally involved in the encounter. Just act as an observer of what is happening and then react from that state of mind. You will be able to be more rational in walking away from the conflict. Remember, if you leave the room, the person has no one to fight with. This will give you peace. Don't focus on the person who is hard to live with; rather, focus on your own life and detach with love. It’s important to recognize ways to overcome the obstacles that come your way in order to be happy with your life. One major way is to detach with love and discover how peaceful life can really be.
Peace
Daily peaceful techniques
Doing a daily meditation will help you get more centered in a peaceful state of mind. You can do a number of different meditations, from being in your happy place to listening to a peaceful meditation on YouTube. To get to your happy place, close your eyes and simply meditate on a place that makes you very happy and sit in that place in your mind. Perhaps you want to get quiet in a room alone, meditate with peaceful music, and add some scented candles to the mix. Taking a nice, relaxing bath will also help you feel more at peace.
Forgiveness is an act of self-love
Forgiveness is the key to getting rid of resentment and bitterness. Our resentments usually cause an irrational response to someone pushing our buttons. Forgiveness is an act of self-love. When you forgive the other person, you are releasing the venom that is going through your veins in the form of bitterness. Releasing the bitterness will release you from the stress that causes health issues. Also, ask yourself: Will this conflict matter tomorrow, a month or a year from now, or when you are on your deathbed? Sometimes what is important in the heat of the moment will not be important tomorrow. A good slogan many use is "How important is it?" In the scheme of everyday life, how important is this showdown of conflict? This is a great slogan to ponder.
People take simple conflicts to the point of cutting people out of their lives. Our pride usually gets in the way of reaching out to the other person for a mutual resolution. Remember, it is the strong person who can put aside their pride and reach out to the other person to communicate with them to resolve conflicts. Again, the question arises: how will you feel in the future about this same situation? Another good question is, how would you advise a friend who has the same conflict? Sometimes what seems so magnified now will look trivial in the future.
In conclusion, with a little awareness, you can become peaceful again if you take your power back, detach with love, and forgive the person you are in conflict with. You can forgive them without speaking to them. Remember, the person you are in conflict with is your greatest teacher. Those who can push our buttons have much to teach us. You might one day look back on your life and realize that the person who pushed your buttons taught you more than anyone else. Sometimes these lessons can be very powerful. These life lessons are here to show us an aspect of ourselves we didn’t realize existed.
I want to end with this great quote by Dr. Wayne Dyer: “If you have the choice of being right or being kind, choose kind.”
Discover the power you have within as you journey on the third road and lavish in a peaceful state.
Rachel Devine is the author of Discover the Power of the Secret within, a book on the power of the subconscious mind and the inner child. The Third Road, a book that gently guides one to the power within and their purpose in life, and Lessons from the Needle in a Haystack, a spiritual book on dating and relationships.
Devine Intervention - The Inner Healing Center website.
Look for my new book on short stories sometime in September 2024!
Please leave your ideas in the comments. Or please also feel free to contact me. I will answer all emails.
Spring is a Time for New Beginnings & Self-Care - Rachel Devine
Spring is a time for new growth and new beginnings. The daffodils bloom in early spring, along with the blossoms on the Magnolia tree, and the dogwood comes to life. Spring is a time for renewal. As they say, there is a time for every purpose under heaven. The seasons remind us that life does come back after being dormant for the winter. So, what about you? Is it time for your renewal? Is it time for you to spring ahead? Is spring a time to start some self-care practices?
When I was in a relationship many years ago, I was struggling to get my partner’s attention with all the issues he had in his life. I would try to help him out with different aspects of his life. When the relationship ended I realized that all the effort I put in the relationship was in vain and left me feeling drained. So, I took a week off from work and directed all of my own attention on myself. It was a way to build my self-esteem and it was also the start of self-care. I bought myself flowers, got a manicure/pedicure, bought a new outfit, went to a singles barbecue, got my hair done and had the best week ever. At the end of that week, I felt so loved, happy and content, the way I should have felt in the relationship. More importantly, my self-esteem was at an all time high, because I valued myself enough to do all these wonderful self-care practices.
Let’s look at ways to start this spring with self-care and renewal:
Spring is a time for new growth and new beginnings. The daffodils bloom in early spring, along with the blossoms on the Magnolia tree, and the dogwood comes to life. Spring is a time for renewal. As they say, there is a time for every purpose under heaven. The seasons remind us that life does come back after being dormant for the winter. So, what about you? Is it time for your renewal? Is it time for you to spring ahead? Perhaps spring is a time to start some self-care practices. Just like the caterpillar morphs into a beautiful butterfly, you can also transform into your beautiful self.
Let’s look at ways to start this spring with self-care and renewal:
Self-Care
Self-care is very understated in our society, especially for women, who generally care about everyone around them but themselves. This leaves little time for self-care. However, self-care is crucial because we want to be in a good state to help others. As the old saying goes, if the plane is going down, put the oxygen mask on yourself, because if you don't, you can’t help anyone else. Therefore, self-care is important, and it’s really good to know that, unless you have little children, the only person you are responsible for is yourself. That is very liberating to acknowledge. Also, when you practice self-care you are building on your self-esteem.
Self-care routine
Here are some ways to bring self-care into your world:
Pamper yourself with a massage or a nice relaxing bath.
Take time to meditate, pray, or walk in nature.
Spend money on yourself from time to time, or buy yourself flowers.
Eat healthy and exercise as often as you can.
Say no and set boundaries when someone takes advantage of your time.
Schedule time to relax just for you, and don’t let anyone infringe on that time.
Take a relaxing trip as a way to recharge your batteries, even if it’s just for the weekend.
Take a course that will enlighten you or make you feel happy.
Sit in a room with scented candles in order to relax your inner world.
Benefits of self-care
It prevents stress and overextending yourself.
It helps your mental state to be clear and calm.
It helps your overall health.
It helps with inner healing from the past.
It helps you relax more.
It helps you feel more confident in yourself.
It helps you feel happy and valued.
Self-care builds on your self-esteem.
Inner healing and self-care
Self-care is the catalyst for inner healing. When we take care of ourselves, it helps heal past wounds of being taken advantage of. It can also be the start of a new way of living that will enhance your life. Self-care is not selfish; it’s a way to pamper yourself and be good to yourself. The message you give yourself when you pamper yourself is, “I am worth it.” Remember, if you don’t take care of yourself, who will? Sure, you can still be there for others' sake, but it’s important to also be there for yourself. Inner healing really does start with self-care practices, as one will eventually gravitate toward ways to heal from past issues.
Inner child healing
Your inner child has had past wounds inflicted on him or her whether you realize it or not. Whenever you do an act of kindness for yourself, you do that act of kindness for your inner child, who is a very real part of you. The more you nurture your inner child with self-care practices, the more you will gravitate towards a better relationship with yourself and those around you. It’s imperative to treat yourself the way you want to be treated by others. The energy we put out into the world comes back to us.
In closing, I want to remind you that taking care of yourself is the single most important thing you can do in life. It is a way to let your inner child know that you are going to be there for him or her and nurture and care for them. That message alone will help you feel happier, along with all the benefits from self-care practices directed towards you. Your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you have in life. Doesn’t it make sense to treat yourself with love and kindness? If you do, love and kindness will trickle down to all your relationships. Therefore, I urge you to step outside of the daily routine and consider doing a few of the self-care suggestions so you are on your way to a happier and more content life.
Rachel Devine is the author of a new book, Discover the Power of the Secret Within - Healing your Inner Child to Manifest your Dreams.
Spring is a Time for New Beginnings & Self-Care - Rachel Devine
Spring is a time for new growth and new beginnings. The daffodils bloom in early spring, along with the blossoms on the Magnolia tree, and the dogwood comes to life. Spring is a time for renewal. As they say, there is a time for every purpose under heaven. The seasons remind us that life does come back after being dormant for the winter. So, what about you? Is it time for your renewal? Is it time for you to spring ahead? Is spring a time to start some self-care practices?
When I was in a relationship many years ago, I was struggling to get my partner’s attention with all the issues he had in his life. I would try to help him out with different aspects of his life. When the relationship ended I realized that all the effort I put in the relationship was in vain and left me feeling drained. So, I took a week off from work and directed all of my own attention on myself. It was a way to build my self-esteem and it was also the start of self-care. I bought myself flowers, got a manicure/pedicure, bought a new outfit, went to a singles barbecue, got my hair done and had the best week ever. At the end of that week, I felt so loved, happy and content, the way I should have felt in the relationship. More importantly, my self-esteem was at an all time high, because I valued myself enough to do all these wonderful self-care practices.
Let’s look at ways to start this spring with self-care and renewal:
Spring is a time for new growth and new beginnings. The daffodils bloom in early spring, along with the blossoms on the Magnolia tree, and the dogwood comes to life. Spring is a time for renewal. As they say, there is a time for every purpose under heaven. The seasons remind us that life does come back after being dormant for the winter. So, what about you? Is it time for your renewal? Is it time for you to spring ahead? Is spring a time to start some self-care practices?
When I was in a relationship many years ago, I was struggling to get my partner’s attention with all the issues he had in his life. I would try to help him out with different aspects of his life. When the relationship ended I realized that all the effort I put in the relationship was in vain and left me feeling drained. So, I took a week off from work and directed all of my own attention on myself. It was a way to build my self-esteem and it was also the start of self-care. I bought myself flowers, got a manicure/pedicure, bought a new outfit, went to a singles barbecue, got my hair done and had the best week ever. At the end of that week, I felt so loved, happy and content, the way I should have felt in the relationship. More importantly, my self-esteem was at an all time high, because I valued myself enough to do all these wonderful self-care practices.
Let’s look at ways to start this spring with self-care and renewal:
Self-Care
Self-care is very understated in our society, especially for women, who generally care about everyone around them but themselves. This leaves little time for self-care. However, self-care is crucial because we want to be in a good state to help others. As the old saying goes, if the plane is going down, put the oxygen mask on yourself, because if you don't, you can’t help anyone else. Therefore, self-care is important, and it’s really good to know that, unless you have little children, the only person you are responsible for is yourself. That is very liberating to acknowledge. Also, when you practice self-care you are building on your self-esteem.
Self-care routine
Here are some ways to bring self-care into your world:
Pamper yourself with a massage or a nice relaxing bath.
Take time to meditate or walk in nature.
Spend money on yourself from time to time, or buy yourself flowers.
Eat healthy and exercise as often as you can.
Say no and set boundaries when someone takes advantage of your time.
Schedule time to relax just for you, and don’t let anyone infringe on that time.
Take a relaxing trip as a way to recharge your batteries, even if it’s just for the weekend.
Take a course that will enlighten you or make you feel happy.
Sit in a room with scented candles in order to relax your inner world.
Benefits of self-care
It prevents stress and overextending yourself.
It helps your mental state to be clear and calm.
It helps your overall health.
It helps with inner healing from the past.
It helps you relax more.
It helps you feel more confident in yourself.
It helps you feel happy and valued.
Self-care builds on your self-esteem.
Inner healing and self-care
Self-care is the catalyst for inner healing. When we take care of ourselves, it helps heal past wounds of being taken advantage of. It can also be the start of a new way of living that will enhance your life. Self-care is not selfish; it’s a way to pamper yourself and be good to yourself. Remember, if you don’t take care of yourself, who will? Sure, you can still be there for others' sake, but it’s important to also be there for yourself. Inner healing really does start with self-care practices, as one will eventually gravitate toward ways to heal from past issues.
Inner child healing
Your inner child has had past wounds inflicted on him or her whether you realize it or not. Whenever you do an act of kindness for yourself, you do that act of kindness for your inner child, who is a very real part of you. The more you nurture your inner child with self-care practices, the more you will gravitate towards a better relationship with yourself and those around you.
In closing, I want to remind you that taking care of yourself is the single most important thing you can do in life. It is a way to let your inner child know that you are going to be there for him or her and nurture and care for them. That message alone will help you feel happier, along with all the benefits from self-care practices directed towards you. You relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you have in your life. Doesn’t it make sense to treat yourself with love and kindness? If you do, love and kindness will trickle down to all your relationships. Therefore, I urge you to step outside of the daily routine and consider doing a few of the self-care suggestions so you are on your way to a happier and more content life.
Rachel Devine is the author of a new book, Discover the Power of the Secret Within - Healing your Inner Child to Manifest your Dreams.
Finding Peace Within Yourself - Rachel Devine
Let’s face it, life has its ups and downs and can sometimes go sideways as well. Life is a journey, and each one of us has different highs and lows. No one can predict what tomorrow will bring, but we can stand firm in our inner foundation of peace. Having this solid inner foundation is key to having peace even during the storms of life.
Annie Dillard put it so succinctly when she said:
“No one escapes the wilderness on the way to the promised land.”
That pretty much says it all. No one will ever find peace in their adverse circumstances or world events. However, we can find peace within. Detaching from the adverse circumstances is important. How you view a certain situation determines how much power it has over you. Keeping a steady diet of peaceful techniques is key to building the foundation to withstand the storms of life and own your power.
7 techniques to build a peaceful foundation within:
Let’s face it, life has its ups and downs and can sometimes go sideways as well. Life is a journey, and each one of us has different highs and lows. No one can predict what tomorrow will bring, but we can stand firm on our inner foundation of peace. Having this solid inner foundation is key to having peace even during the storms of life.
Annie Dillard put it so succinctly when she said:
“No one escapes the wilderness on the way to the promised land.”
That pretty much says it all. No one will ever find peace in their adverse circumstances or world events. However, we can find peace within. Detaching from the adverse circumstances is important. How you view a certain situation determines how much power it has over you. Keeping a steady diet of peaceful techniques is key to building the foundation to withstand the storms of life and own your power. These peaceful techniques can transform your life!
Inner Peace Examples.
Inner Peace Examples:
Practice mindfulness and present-moment awareness. Turbulent times often come from dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. Mindfulness teaches you to stay grounded in the present moment, observing your thoughts and feelings without judging them. You are safe if you stay focused on the moment. This can help you bypass the mental loops that cause stress.
Cultivate gratitude: Make a conscious effort to appreciate the good things in your life, no matter how small. Gratitude shifts your focus away from problems and allows you to recognize the positive aspects that already exist. Keep a gratitude journal or take time each day to reflect on what you're grateful for.
Practice acceptance: While you can't control everything that happens, you can control how you respond. Accepting circumstances you cannot change with equanimity can bring a sense of peace. Acceptance equals serenity. Additionally, setting strong boundaries with people that disturb your peace of mind is a big step in finding inner peace. You have a choice to detach with love.
Spend time in nature. Being in natural settings has a calming effect on the mind and body. Go for a walk in the park, sit by a lake, or simply observe the clouds passing by. Nature can provide a sense of interconnectedness and perspective and bring much peace into your world.
Engage in relaxation techniques: Practices like deep breathing, meditation, gentle yoga, or progressive muscle relaxation can calm your mind and release physical tension. Find techniques that resonate with you and make them a regular habit. And light a candle to bring some fragrance and light to the mix.
Nurture your spiritual side: Whether through religion, philosophy, or personal beliefs, connecting with a sense of meaning and purpose larger than yourself can bring comfort and grounding during challenging periods. Connecting to your Higher Power, or as I call Him, God, can bring solace during a crisis and peace during any season of life. Connecting to the Spirit within is important to discovering peace and inner support. Remember, God is peace.
Seek social support: confiding in loved ones, joining a support group, or speaking with a therapist or life coach can help you process difficult emotions and gain new perspectives. Be around people who celebrate you. Feeling understood and not alone in your struggles can be immensely therapeutic.
Practicing all or some of these peaceful examples will help you on your quest for serenity. Remember, finding inner peace is a journey, not a destination. Be patient and compassionate with yourself, and trust that even the most turbulent storms will eventually pass. As the old adage says, “this too shall pass,” and it always does.
Your Inner Spirit:
We all have an extraordinary spirit within that brings us much peace and guidance. Our inner spirit directs us on our journey through life in the form of our intuition. When we listen to this inner whisper, we are usually steered away from dangerous situations or brought to joyful ones. The way to listen to this spirit within is through meditation. Meditation will take you from a turbulent day to a peaceful one. Meditation is a way to connect with your inner spirit. Picture the ripples on a brook; the ripples are the turbulence, but if you go beyond the ripples, you will find a peaceful haven in the water where calm awaits you. Incorporating even 10 minutes a day of meditation will change your life into a more serene way of being. It will give your mind a peaceful retreat from the hurried pace of everyday thoughts.
Meditation is one way to find peace in your life.
In conclusion, remember that life has many hills and valleys we must all travel on. However, the key is getting to a point where, no matter what happens in your life, you have a firm foundation of peace within yourself that withstands any storm that comes your way.
Rachel Devine is the author of her new book, Discover the Power of the Secret Within - Healing your Inner Child to Manifest your Dreams.
The World is Changing: 7 Ways of Finding Peace in the Chaos - Rachel Devine
Let's face it, we live in a world that is facing a slew of challenges and obstacles. There is unrest, chaos, war, atrocities, political issues, inflation, supply chain issues, and the list is endless. One can put on the news for two minutes and become extremely stressed out by the doomsday headlines. If you watch the news late enough, it can seep into your dreams as nightmares. In addition to that, we have to deal with our own world of social problems that crop up from time to time. When you often feel uneasy, it's time to do a mental health check and find some peace in your life.
Let's look at 7 ways to find peace in the chaos and midst of challenging problems in the worl
Let's face it, we live in a world that is facing a slew of challenges and obstacles. There is unrest, chaos, war, atrocities, political issues, inflation, supply chain issues, and the list is endless. One can put on the news for two minutes and become extremely stressed out by the doomsday headlines. If you watch the news late enough, it can seep into your dreams as nightmares. In addition to that, we have to deal with our own world of social problems that crop up from time to time. When you often feel uneasy, it's time to do a mental health check and find some peace in your life.
Let's look at 7 ways to find peace in the chaos and midst of challenging problems in the world. It is possible to overcome obstacles and chaos and find happiness.
Detachment
Detaching from the news is the first step to finding some peace in your world. Dr. Eric Berg says the number one thing you can do for our brain health is to stop watching the news! I was so surprised when I read that. Therefore, setting boundaries on how much news you watch can eradicate most of your stress. If you can turn it off for a week, you will feel happier. You might want to give that idea a try. If you are a news junkie, this can be hard to do. You might want to allow yourself maybe 15 minutes a day of news just to catch up on what's going on. I would say the earlier, the better. Any television you watch before bedtime will resonate in your subconscious mind for 8 hours. Try hard to limit your exposure to the news at night. Try instead to read a positive, uplifting book.
Stay in the moment.
When we are in the moment, we are safe and at peace. Being in this very moment shields us from lamenting over the past or worrying about a fearful future. This moment is all we have. Take advantage of the moment and really soak it in. Take a walk in nature and really focus on the trees and flowers around you. You can count each step you take. Stay in a focused conversation with a friend and really be present. Look at your surroundings and take a deep breath, centering yourself around the very moment you are in. Remember, we can't change a past moment or make a future moment go our way; we can only enjoy the very moment we are living in now. You might want to stay in the moment with some motivational quotes that bring peace to light.
Positive techniques
There are many positive techniques to bring peace. Meditation helps keep you in the moment, so you are not peering into the past or forecasting a negative future. Even if you meditate for 5 minutes, that can bring peace into your world. There are plenty of different meditation techniques online. Positive visualization is another good technique for peace. Just visualize a positive scene in your mind; maybe you want to go to a happy place in your visualization. Just picture a place you love to go to and go there in your mind. Visualize the sounds, colors, smells, and peace you feel when you are there. This will bring much peace to your day. Positive affirmations are also a good way to find peace. Just write some out on a sticky note and post them where you can see them daily. Some good ones are that I am at peace, I love myself, I am finding joy in the moment, my day will be peaceful, etc. Additionally, prayer is another positive technique. Praying keeps us in the moment and in a loving, peaceful state. The power of prayer is a big part of bringing goodness to the chaos in the world.
Rest periods
Most of us are bogged down with so much on our plate that we don't have quiet, restful time for ourselves. It's important to carve out at least 30 minutes so you can have some quiet time. You can find rest in a nap, a hot, relaxing bath or sitting in a room with fragrant candles. Doing something every day that helps you feel at peace is very important, and the message you are giving yourself is, "I am worth it!"
Gratitude list
Gratitude is at the forefront of peace. It helps us realize all we have rather than all that we don't have. It also shifts us toward a positive outlook rather than a negative one. It can direct your life in a transforming way. When you wake up each day, count your blessings. Sit and just visualize all the individual things that are positive in your life, and thank God for each one. You can also create a gratitude list each day and read it out loud to yourself. There are health benefits to being in a state of gratitude, and one important benefit is that it will bring you serenity. There is something very soulful about appreciating the little things in life.
Place of worship
Going to your favorite place of worship can bring peace beyond measure. Being in a setting where you focus for an hour on prayer brings much serenity to a world that needs more of this. Try to go to your place of worship weekly. It will bring you so much happiness and joy. Also, if you are a prayerful person, prayer is an excellent way to keep us in the moment so we can find peace. Remember, inner peace is always within you. It’s a matter of connecting to it. The more peaceful one is, the more peace will be spread across the world by consciousness through inner manifestation.
Family and friends
Try to spend more time with family and friends who are uplifting. Try to stay away from negative people who will only bring you down, and could wind up listing all the reasons you could be stressed over world issues. Get out with your friends for lunch or dinner. Visit a family member who might need to be around some positivity too. Keeping the connection with people you love will help you feel more at peace.
Mahatma Gandhi once said, "Peace is not the absence of conflict, but the ability to cope with it."
S A Jefferson-Wright said, “Serenity is not freedom from the storm; but peace amid the storm.”
It’s crucial to find some peace in the midst of the storms in the world. We can’t stop the storms from happening, but we have these tools to shelter ourselves from the storms. These 7 steps are like putting up an umbrella to keep yourself from getting drenched.
Rachel Devine is the author of The Third Road, a book that gently guides one to the power within and their purpose in life, and Lessons from the Needle in a Haystack, a spiritual book on dating and relationships.
Check out my new video 7 Ways to Overcome Obstacles and Be Happy
Devine Intervention - The Healing Center website.
Please leave your ideas in the comments. Or please also feel free to contact me. I will answer all emails.