Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff - Choose Peace over Conflict - Rachel Devine
Life is too short to become stressed over every little thing other people do that we don't like. Remember, you can't control anyone but yourself. When someone irritates you, remember that you have the choice of how to respond. Typically, we respond with a reactive angry attitude, because the other person hit a nerve. Or perhaps the other person triggered us, which can be emotionally overwhelming. What if we took a moment to just breathe and decided that we didn't really want to give this person the power to ruin our day? Also, at times, it may not be the other person. It may be how you react to whatever happened.
Let's look at some techniques to choose peace over conflict.
Count to Ten
When you encounter someone you know is hard to deal with and they go into a rant that sets you off, stop and count to ten, leave the room or take some deep breaths. Taking a few seconds to compose yourself will help you have more control and, in turn, be able to have more control over your emotions and how you respond. Try not to react, rather, take a time-out and respond with a level head. This is key to keeping your cool during conflict. Abraham Lincoln said, “When angry count to 10, when very angry count to 100.”
Take your power back
When we allow others to ruin our day because they are rude to us, we have handed over our power to the other person. Picture it this way. The other person has a remote control and presses a button that says, “ruin their day,” or a button that says, “make them angry” or “make them stressed.” Don't allow others to push your buttons. Take the remote control back, and in turn, you will take back your power. Remember, you always have the choice of how you will respond to others' rudeness. They are not ruining your day; you are choosing to let them ruin your day.
Detach with love
Detachment is the key to serenity. You might live with someone who is totally obnoxious and difficult to live with. The key is to detach from the person with love. In other words, observe what is happening from an outsider's standpoint rather than get emotionally involved in the encounter. Just act as an observer of what is happening and then react from that state of mind. You will be able to be more rational in walking away from the conflict. Remember, if you leave the room, the person has no one to fight with. This will give you peace. Don't focus on the person who is hard to live with; rather, focus on your own life and detach with love. It’s important to recognize ways to overcome the obstacles that come your way in order to be happy with your life. One major way is to detach with love and discover how peaceful life can really be.
Peace
Daily peaceful techniques
Doing a daily meditation will help you get more centered in a peaceful state of mind. You can do a number of different meditations, from being in your happy place to listening to a peaceful meditation on YouTube. To get to your happy place, close your eyes and simply meditate on a place that makes you very happy and sit in that place in your mind. Perhaps you want to get quiet in a room alone, meditate with peaceful music, and add some scented candles to the mix. Taking a nice, relaxing bath will also help you feel more at peace.
Forgiveness is an act of self-love
Forgiveness is the key to getting rid of resentment and bitterness. Our resentments usually cause an irrational response to someone pushing our buttons. Forgiveness is an act of self-love. When you forgive the other person, you are releasing the venom that is going through your veins in the form of bitterness. Releasing the bitterness will release you from the stress that causes health issues. Also, ask yourself: Will this conflict matter tomorrow, a month or a year from now, or when you are on your deathbed? Sometimes what is important in the heat of the moment will not be important tomorrow. A good slogan many use is "How important is it?" In the scheme of everyday life, how important is this showdown of conflict? This is a great slogan to ponder.
People take simple conflicts to the point of cutting people out of their lives. Our pride usually gets in the way of reaching out to the other person for a mutual resolution. Remember, it is the strong person who can put aside their pride and reach out to the other person to communicate with them to resolve conflicts. Again, the question arises: how will you feel in the future about this same situation? Another good question is, how would you advise a friend who has the same conflict? Sometimes what seems so magnified now will look trivial in the future.
In conclusion, with a little awareness, you can become peaceful again if you take your power back, detach with love, and forgive the person you are in conflict with. You can forgive them without speaking to them. Remember, the person you are in conflict with is your greatest teacher. Those who can push our buttons have much to teach us. You might one day look back on your life and realize that the person who pushed your buttons taught you more than anyone else. Sometimes these lessons can be very powerful. These life lessons are here to show us an aspect of ourselves we didn’t realize existed.
I want to end with this great quote by Dr. Wayne Dyer: “If you have the choice of being right or being kind, choose kind.”
Discover the power you have within as you journey on the third road and lavish in a peaceful state.
Rachel Devine is the author of Discover the Power of the Secret within, a book on the power of the subconscious mind and the inner child. The Third Road, a book that gently guides one to the power within and their purpose in life, and Lessons from the Needle in a Haystack, a spiritual book on dating and relationships.
Devine Intervention - The Inner Healing Center website.
Look for my new book on short stories sometime in September 2024!
Please leave your ideas in the comments. Or please also feel free to contact me. I will answer all emails.