You Can’t Have a Do-Over - Rachel Devine

Every action has a consequence, whether it is a good or bad action. Every word uttered has an emotional outcome for the person we speak to. Every decision we make actually moves our lives in one direction or another. All of the decisions you made in life has brought you right to where you are in this very moment. And with all the decisions we make in a day, remember one thing is very clear, you can’t have a do-over. There is no way to go back in time and change whatever happened. It is humanly impossible.

I recently read about a 64-year-old Long Island man with a blood alcohol level double the legal limit who plowed into a hair salon, killing four people. I am sure he wishes he could have a do-over of that day. He chose to get behind the wheel of a car drunk and now is under indictment on 4 murder charges; actions have consequences.

Two women at a high school basketball game got into a heated argument with another woman at the game, and words were exchanged, and the two women wound up beating up the woman they were arguing with. I am sure they wish they could have had a do-over of that day.

A famous person recently broke up with her boyfriend because he cheated on her. I wonder if he wanted a do-over with this situation!

You may have had days where your thoughts went like this: ‘If only I didn’t say that to her. If I only accepted that job. If I didn’t move to my mother’s house. If I only closed the gate to the backyard our dog would be here. If I was only in the room with him/her when they died.’

Regrets can be very hard to live with.

When you come to the realization that every action, every word, and every decision will put you in a different place in life, it stands to reason that you might become more careful of what you say or do.

When someone dies, there are similar regrets. You might wish you were there with the person who died, but you decided not to go. You may have made a medical decision that you will regret for the rest of your life.

Whatever the action, you can’t have a do-over. I am sure many who are reading this blog will suddenly remember a time of action that was not typically within your own moral compass that you wish you could take back. I will admit I have had my own share of misgivings in life. We all have weak moments in life, moments of anger, or drastic regrets. However, I think it’s important to focus on it now to prevent future regrets and moments of bad decisions.

Another form of regret is wasting time. Time goes by very quickly. Wasting an hour or even a day doesn’t seem like a big deal, but days turn into years and years into decades, and before long you might look back and see little accomplishments and a lot of time wasted. Capturing the moment and living life to the fullest will help you look back and perhaps see purpose in your life. There is an old adage that holds a lot of wisdom. “Live life like it’s your last day on earth.” Wow, if we all do that, there would be no reason for wanting to have a do-over in life.

The next best thing to a do-over is to make amends to the person you may have hurt. Making amends is a way to ease the regret, the guilt and the resentment. You can also make amends to a pet as well. The key is when you make an amends to someone, you have to also change the behavior so it doesn’t happen again.

The next time you want to lash out at someone with words, get angry at your dog, tell someone off in a store, or succumb to road rage, just remember one thing: you can’t have a do-over. And remember the infamous words of my mother, “Think before you speak!” And perhaps take a deep breath, count to 10, and imagine a better way to handle the situation that will make you feel good about who you are.

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Rachel Devine

Rachel Devine is an author, retreat director & motivational speak. Her books include, The Third Road - Your Secret Journey Home. Lessons from the Needle in a Haystack.

https://rachel-devine.com
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