7 Ways to Heal Your Inner Child Wounds
Our inner child represents the emotional part of us that developed in infancy, childhood, and adolescence. These were vulnerable times when we experienced life as a child. Lots of different feelings developed from experiences and possible traumas. Many of us developed inner child wounds. Inner child work means going back to understand, validate, and heal your childhood wounds. As psychologist Carl Jung put it this way, “The inner child carries the burden of being our past and future." Those are very critical words to describe exactly what the inner child carries around for us.
Let’s look into the inner child wounds from the past and see where we can heal the inner child.
Validate your past
It’s so important to not only connect with what happened to you as a child, but to validate your feelings. If you experienced trauma or grief, it’s important to try recognize and to feel those feelings. Any repressed inner child feelings will only erupt during anxiety, fearful, angry or stressful times and cause havoc in adulthood. It would be like opening a Pandora’s box of horrors. Getting in touch with those feelings will be the best thing you can do to combat adult disruptions. Once you are in touch with those feelings, you can release them. One way to release them is to speak about it out loud, even if just to yourself.
Identify any neglect or trauma
It’s important to recognize any neglect you may have experienced as a child or trauma. Bringing out our dark secrets from the past into the light of day helps it lose it’s power over us. Just speaking it out loud is a great start. Try to acknowledge the neglect to a friend or therapist.
Look for patterns
Our lives are a series of patterns from childhood emotions that seep into adulthood. Our anger issues that get out of control, are usually from past childhood anger that come out of left field during a heated argument. Recognizing any pattern from childhood is a great start to healing. An example of a relationship pattern from childhood would be having anger issues over your father not coming to your little league games. Now, as an adult, you take that anger out on your wife if she can’t be there for you in a certain situation. The anger would be intense and out of proportion to a minor situation with your wife. This is just one example of a pattern of anger from childhood.
Feel your feelings
Suppressed emotions manifest in other unhealthy ways. Make space to feel sadness, anger, and fear fully. It is imperative to feel your feelings.
Write a letter to your inner child. Assure your younger self that they did nothing to deserve mistreatment. Remind them of their talents and intrinsic beauty. Also list any hurt feelings or anger in your letter. Also identify any feelings of emotional or physical abandonment issues. Looking back on your childhood and writing about hurtful times is imperative to healing. Getting it all out on paper will serve as a great way to alleviate the fears and anger from the past. It might feel uncomfortable, but that will pass and you will start to feel healed. You can also do daily journaling on past experiences as an inner child. Journaling is a sure way to bring to light inner child wounds and help heal them. Remember, every time you remember an inner child wound, and write it out, you are releasing it to the universe.
Speak encouraging mantras
Combat an inner critic with loving wisdom. Tell yourself often, “I am enough. I matter. I am worthy of love. I am loveable” Create new neural pathways with affirmative language. Using words of affirmation will help you feel more positive and in turn happier. Speak words of affirmations daily to yourself, and do it over and over again until it resonates for you.
Meet unmet needs
Make a list of activities that would comfort your inner child’s fears and longings. Do you like to play music? Create art? Engage with spirituality to really heighten the experience, if you choose to. Enjoying life is part of self-care. Self-care is putting total focus on yourself and doing things that make you happy. As Audre Lorde wrote, “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence; it is self-preservation.” Take that vacation you always wanted. Get out a coloring book and be creative. Go to a park and enjoy the swings. Walk barefoot on the beach. Fulfill your own needs by acknowledging them and acting them out.
Cultivate a safe community
Surround yourself with people who champion all parts of you, past and present. Be around people who celebrate you, not tolerate you. Consider joining a support group to share struggles without shame and reduce isolation. 12 step programs are an excellent way towards healing. Seeing childhood wounds in friends allows empathy for what they too endure. Kindness is contagious. Be the person you need for someone else. When we help others, it helps us stay focused on our own healing as well.
In closing, it’s important to implement with patient devotion these methods in order for your inner child to feel seen, safe, and healed. You deserve to be nurtured now and always. It’s so important to recognize your inner child wounds and start the healing process. These 7 steps are a great start to healing the inner child. You want to graduate to this state of being happy, rather than fight invisible emotional wounds from the past for the rest of your life. Remember, the rest of your life starts today. You have the power to change the things you can.
If you feel like you need help, I offer life coaching, and can help you with reparenting your inner child and other areas you may be struggling with in your life. I offer a free coaching session.
Rachel Devine is the author of a new inner child book called, Discover the Power of the Secret Within - Healing your Inner Child to Manifest your Dreams. This book is available now on Amazon.
Devine Intervention - Inner Healing Center.
If you have any questions, please contact Rachel Devine.