What does ‘Inner Child’ Mean? Understanding and Healing Your Inner Child.
You might hear about the inner child and see a blog and decide to pass over it. You may have a false image of what the inner child actually means. The reality is, we all have an inner child. Inner child is not some far out concept from the 90s, it’s a very real part of everyone’s life. It’s not something you can ignore forever, because it has a great impact and power over your life, whether you realize it or not. If you keep the pandora’s box of the inner child long enough, it will eventually cause untold conflict. So, the question begs, what is the inner child?
The inner child refers to the vulnerable, emotional part of one's personality that forms in early childhood. It contains our core feelings, needs, desires, fears, anger, and memories from the first years of life. Even as adults, this childlike part of us will emerge at times, especially when we feel threatened, anxious, or afraid. Recognizing and nurturing this inner child is key to our emotional wellbeing.
First step is connect with your inner child.
How to Connect with Your Inner Child
Noticing intense emotions: Strong feelings like excessive anger, sadness, or shame often represent "tantrums" of an aching inner child. Pay close attention when this happens.
Identifying childlike desires: Cravings, especially for comforts like sweet or fried foods, can indicate the inner child is seeking to be nurtured. Another tell-tale sign of the inner child coming out in your life and why most of us can’t keep the weight off.
Being aware of regressive behaviors: Do you become especially needy around certain people or situations? This suggests the inner child feels endangered.
Intense anger for small infractions is tied to the inner child. If you get angry easily, at the slightest thing, you can pretty much bet it is coming from a past situation from childhood that is being triggered by the person or situation you are angry about.
Feelings of fears of abandonment in adult relationships are also a sign of triggers from past childhood wounds. If your partner is going away on a business trip and you feel fearful, that is from an old childhood wound.
Considering what "age" you feel: Specific situations may trigger memories of when you were 5, 10, or 15 years old. Pay attention to any pattern of anger or abandonment issues and when you first felt that way.
By stopping when big feelings surface and asking, "How old does this make me feel?" you can connect to this child part. These are all ways to recognize how your inner child causes havoc in your life. The goal is to heal the inner child.
How to soothe and comfort your inner child.
How to Soothe and Comfort Your Inner Child
Ways to nurture the inner child when painful emotions arise include:
Offer understanding through inner dialogue. Validate how the inner child might feel frightened, rejected, unseen, angry or unloved. Say, “You’re not alone. I hear you, and I’m here for you now.” Being there to reparent your inner child is a comfort.
Provide physical comfort: rock gently, wrap arms around yourself, or let hands rest protectively over your heart.
Engage the senses: hold a soft blanket or stuffed animal, sip warm herbal tea, or play soothing music. Allow your mind and body to relax.
Supply emotional support. Cradle the inner child in compassion, empathy, and patience. Say aloud reassuring statements like “You are so precious to me” or “You deserved better, and you have me now.”
Self-love equals self-care, especially for healing the inner child
Self-Care techniques
Self-care is essential to form a loving friendship with your inner child. Taking care of your adult needs is crucial.
Some of those self-care needs are simple:
Love
Companionship
Nourishment
Exercise
Rest and vacation time
Affirming words of comfort
Healthy meals
Hot bath or spa day
Having quiet time
Make a concerted effort for one full month to do extra special things for yourself and see how much that makes you feel loved and cared for.
The Power is in the Moment
The power of the moment
Most importantly, commit to showing up wholeheartedly for yourself, flaws and all. Living in the moment is crucial to being there for yourself. When you think about it, this moment is all we have. Shining this light of presence into the darkest recesses of your inner world illuminates pain built up over a lifetime. It can initiate so much inner child healing. With time, consistency, and courage, genuine self-care heals old wounds. Gradually, the fierce outbursts of an indignant inner child give way to the peaceful presence of your authentic self, emotional maturity, and personal power. You want to graduate to this state of being happy, rather than fight invisible emotional wounds from the past.
If you feel like you need help, I offer life coaching, and can help you with reparenting your inner child and other areas.
Rachel Devine is the author of a new inner child book called, Discover the Power of the Secret Within - Healing your Inner Child to Manifest your Dreams. This book is available now on Amazon.
Devine Intervention - Inner Healing Center.
If you have any questions, please contact Rachel Devine.