How to Overcome Abandonment Issues from Childhood. - Rachel Devine

Fears arise in adulthood from our inner child experiences. These fears can stop one from moving forward in many areas of life, but especially in relationships. Abandonment fears, such as an excessive need for closeness and panic about rejection, often originate from childhood abandonment issues. Early experiences profoundly shape our attachment styles and ability to trust in relationships. When you start a relationship with someone and they suddenly stop calling or texting you, intense fear may set in. That fear is what comes from the inner child being triggered by some childhood incident of abandonment from the past and has traveled into your adulthood. Some fears are from emotional or physical childhood abandonment. Let’s look into this a little deeper.

How Childhood Abandonment Fears Develop

Many factors can contribute to an insecure-anxious attachment pattern, but here are a few examples:

• Physical abandonment by a parent through death, divorce, or neglect.

• Emotional unavailability from a depressed, addicted, or distracted caregiver.

• Harsh, conditional love that makes a child feel worthless and unlovable.

• Unpredictable care that keeps a child perpetually anxious about being alone.

• Being put in a group home and taken away from your family.

• Living with a parent with an addiction like alcohol or drugs.

• Having to become the caretaker at an early age of one or both of your parents.

• Having to caretake siblings because of parental abandonment.

These are just a few ways a person develops fears of abandonment in childhood that cause blocks in adult relationships. These blocks can cause havoc. When reliable warmth and protection are missing during a child's vulnerable first years, intense abandonment fears can develop in the subconscious mind.

Signs of Abandonment Issues

Even in adulthood, old wounds may show up as:

• Extreme distress or rage when a partner is unavailable.

• Clinginess and fear of being alone.

• Testing for loyalty and a constant need for reassurance.

• Low self-worth and the belief that others will inevitably leave.

• Jumping from one relationship to the next for fear of being alone.

• Getting into bad relationships just to be in a relationship.

• Fears sometimes morph into intense anger if one feels abandoned in a relationship.

• Intense anger towards a partner that wants to leave a relationship.

How to Overcome childhood abandonment issues

Acknowledge the roots of these fears without judgement. Be compassionate toward the hurt inner child who adapted to uncertainty in whatever manner they could. With awareness and commitment, new neural pathways form when you can turn the fears around. A good start is having the awareness of the problem. Also, therapy is highly recommended because the therapist is trained to help one deal with these fears of abandonment. There is no easy fix; it takes time to heal inner child wounds.

These are some ways to ease the feeling of abandonment:

• Offer inner dialogue affirming safety, support, and love. Envision yourself in a safe space.

• Practice self-soothing through breathing, nature, and creativity. A walk in nature can do wonders.

• Voice unmet childhood needs, grieve losses, and supply nourishment.

• Build a support network of friends independent of romantic partners.

• Cultivate self-esteem through accomplishments and social connections.

• In relationships, voice fears in calm communication and set healthy boundaries.

These are a few ways to feel better. Though formidable, abandonment fears can absolutely be overwhelming, having a game plan when the strike can be a comfort. Confront core wounds without blame. Commit daily to proving to your precious inner child that they are loved, worthy, and will not be left alone again.

Inner child affirmations

Affirmations are a very good way to undo some of the inner child wounds. Saying these out loud, as often as you can, will help reprogram the subconscious mind, where all of our childhood wounds lay.

Here are some inner child affirmations:

• I am in the presence of God and never alone.

• I am nurturing my inner child with love.

• I am safe and secure in my environment.

• I am always in a loving space with the spirit within.

• I am loved by family and friends.

• I am loved by myself.

• I am in a loving relationship with someone who will not abandon me.

These are a few affirmations that you can say out loud often, or you can make up your own unique affirmations.

In closing, I want to reiterate that awareness is the key to healing inner child wounds. Therapy is also imperative to help you heal. Reaching out to a therapist is not a weakness, but a way to strengthen yourself. It’s important to have someone that really understands. A life coach well versed in inner child can also be a blessing. Wishing you much healing.

If you feel like you need help, I offer life coaching, and can help you with reparenting your inner child and other areas you may be struggling with in your life. I offer a free coaching session.

Rachel Devine is the author of a new inner child book called, Discover the Power of the Secret Within - Healing your Inner Child to Manifest your Dreams. This book is available now on Amazon.

Devine Intervention - Inner Healing Center.

If you have any questions, please contact Rachel Devine.

Healing Your Inner Child with Affirmations: Change your Destiny - Rachel Devine

What are inner child affirmations?

Inner child affirmations are positive statements you direct toward your wounded inner child to transform old, limiting beliefs formed in childhood. You want to offset any negative thoughts from the past to positive ones. Our thoughts are engrained in our subconscious mind, that drives our life 95% of the time. Therefore, we want our subconscious to have positive thoughts. Joel Osteen says, “If you want to see what your future will be like, look at the words you are speaking today.” Our words are powerful and direct our lives and create our destiny. Let’s look at how we can use affirmations to change our destiny in life.

Inner child affirmations are key to success in life.

Examples of inner child affirmations

• I am worthy of love and belonging.

• I deeply accept and value who I am.

• I am safe and protected.

• I am loved by everyone I meet.

• I am empowered by my own words.

As children, we absorbed negative messages about ourselves and the world around us. Left unaddressed, these can sabotage our happiness as adults. If affirmations are repeated daily for months, they can not only change the subconscious mind, they will help create your future. The key is to be consistent.

Changing your thoughts from negative to positive will steer your life in a positive direction and in turn change your destiny.

How do affirmations work?

Affirmations are short positive words. Repeated with sincerity and mindfulness, affirmations override years of negative conditioning, replacing messages in our head from a negative to a positive.

For example, you can flip the negative thoughts that invade your mind to positive thoughts:

• “I am stupid and worthless.” change to "I am brilliant and worthy.”

• “I am ugly.” change to “I am beautiful, inside and out."

• “I don’t deserve good things.” change to “I am deserving of all good things.”

• “I never succeed with my goals.” change to “I always succeed with my goals.”

• “Nobody understands me.” change to “I am understood and loved.”

Inner child healing affirmations will change your whole life and help heal the wounded inner child.

Inner child healing affirmations

Here are some examples of empathetic, nurturing affirmations for your inner child:

• I embrace, understand, and accept all parts of myself.

• I release the burdens from my past. I am free and at peace.

• I lovingly attend to my feelings and needs each day.

• My life overflows with joyful blessings as I both give and receive.

• I am filled with so much love that my cup overflows.

The Power of self-love transforms lives.

The Power of Self-Love

Commit to speaking affirmations aloud to yourself every morning and throughout your day. Make recordings to listen to as you walk or sleep. Before you fall asleep each night, say some positive affirmations. This is the most powerful time that you can penetrate the subconscious mind, as you fall asleep.

Over time, these words restructure neural networks, opening you to more positive perceptions, emotions, and possibilities. The key is to be consistent in continuing to direct loving words and thoughts to yourself. The more you love yourself, the more you heal from inner child wounds. Most importantly, affirm your precious inner child daily. Self-acceptance and self-compassion transform old feelings of unworthiness into an empowered, embodied spirit overflowing with love for yourself. It can literally transform your life.

In closing, remember, the words you speak and the thoughts you have are shaping your future. Our future will go in the direction that we steer it in. Destiny doesn’t just happen, destiny is in your hands and creating the future you want starts with positive, loving affirmations.

If you feel like you need help, I offer life coaching, and can help you with reparenting your inner child and other areas you may be struggling with in your life. I offer a free coaching session.

Rachel Devine is the author of a new inner child book called, Discover the Power of the Secret Within - Healing your Inner Child to Manifest your Dreams. This book is available now on Amazon.

Devine Intervention - Inner Healing Center.

If you have any questions, please contact Rachel Devine.