Finding Happiness

By Rachel Devine author of, The Third Road & Lessons from the Needle in a Haystack

5 Secrets to Happiness

Finding happiness is the key to a successful life. Finding joy in the journey is rewarding. Most people want to be happy and live a fulfilling life. Happiness is really an inside job. As Abraham Lincoln once said, “Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.” What a great way to view life, knowing that you have the ability to be happy by changing your mind. One can be in the midst of an external war and still make up their mind to be happy. It’s comforting to know, that we do have control over our thoughts and our thoughts do navigate what direction our life will go in. If one has a lot of negative thoughts, their life will go in a negative direction. On the other hand, if you resonate with positive thoughts, your life will go in a positive direction. That is the law of attraction. Our thoughts are powerful and what we put out into the universe, with thoughts and deeds, comes back to us. That old adage, “what goes around comes around,” is not just empty words of wisdom. It is the foundation of the law of attraction.

Let’s get started. These are my 5 Secrets to happiness:

• Money

• Faith/Spirituality

• Relationships

• Good Health

• Having a Purpose

Secret #1 - Money

Studies show that having enough money for basic living expenses, and some extra money for vacation and other pursuits, was on the list as one of the secrets to happiness. Financial stress is a major issue and causes a lot of unhappiness. And let’s face it there isn’t any fun in struggling financially. On the other hand, studies show that those who win the lottery do not achieve happiness either. In fact, they achieve quite the opposite. Studies show that lottery winners typically wind up squandering their money. Furthermore, some have had marriages fall apart and became estranged from family members who wanted to get a piece of the lottery winnings. Once their money is squandered they are back to their old way of life, which usually is not one of great prosperity. Having had a real taste of being financially well-off and then the money running out could be quite devastating. Therefore, it is important to know that winning the lottery is not going to make you happy in the long-term scheme of life.

One way to increase your income would be to do daily affirmations. Affirmations are an incredible way of letting the universe know that you want to increase your income. This falls under the law of attraction practice.

 Here are three of my favorites:

·      My Income is constantly increasing

·      I am a magnet for money

·      I deserve all the prosperity coming my way

Say these affirmations often every day. Add some of your own. I love Louise Hay’s audio book, “You Can Do It.” She has tons of positive affirmations that truly work

Secret #2 - Faith/Spirituality

Studies reveal that having faith or spirituality in some capacity made people happy. Whether it is a religious faith or a spiritual faith it is a proponent to happiness. Being able to rely on a power greater than yourself is one of the keys to happiness. There is a comfort in knowing that you are not alone on your journey and there is a higher power that is always within you to guide you through life. That guide comes as a whisper from our intuition and a myriad of other ways. The vast universe has an intelligent force that creates mountains, brings about miracles and helps us in life. That power is within you. If you want to learn more about this power within, my book, The Third Road, is a great guide to connect you with that incredible power.

Prayer and meditation are positive ways to feel joy. It also reduces stress and has a ton of health benefits. Getting on a daily routine of meditation will help you feel peace and happiness.

A firm connection to your higher power is crucial to having a fulfilling and happy life. Typically, what goes hand in hand with faith is fellowship, either in a 12-step program, a church, a prayer group, synagogue or other groups. Being in a fellowship with like-minded people is important, especially in this day of age of uncertainties. It’s important to be around people that you can communicate with and to have as a support system in adverse times and good times. A good community of people who are faithful is amazing.  

Secret #3 – Relationships

Family is an integral part of being happy. And I do realize most families are dysfunctional in one way or another and family gatherings are not always happy. There are degrees of dysfunction in all of us, some are less dysfunctional than others. And some family members are just extremely difficult to be around.  However, being in a family unit helps people feel less isolated, alone or like an outcast. Setting boundaries is key if there are dysfunctional issues you might have with a family member. In the best of families, family helps us get through the most disastrous times and is there for us in the best of times. Family can be a source of comfort when there is a death in the family and can help each other through the grieving process. Family is important because they can offer support and security coupled with unconditional love. Family traditions around the holidays, birthdays and other life-changing events are a sure way to socialize. Furthermore, these traditions are a way to keep us connected so we are not isolated and alone. Friends are crucial to being happy. Surround yourself with positive friends who lift you up. Friends that complain and are negative will bring you down.

A Universal need: To love and to be loved.

Being in a healthy, loving relationship is like having gold in the bank. It can be an amazing experience and bring much happiness.

However, I want to point out that single people can be happy just like those who are married. It really is all about how you view it. Of course, if you are single and long for a happy relationship, then there will always feel like something is missing. Some people prefer to be single and are very happy with that lifestyle and find romantic love in dating or other ways.

If you are not in a loving relationship, look at the people around you in your life. What are you doing with their love? One cannot wait for a soulmate to come into their life to be loved. The people around you, your children, parents, co-workers and friends are here in the present moment, which is all we really have; give your love to them. People are starving for love and remember in giving we receive. What are we doing with their love? Let’s focus on what we have rather than what we want and remember those people around us want love as much as you do.

Secret #4 – Good health

It’s so important to live a healthy life-style in order to keep us in a happy state. That old adage, “if you have your health you have everything,” is so true. And think about it you can have all of the above-mentioned secrets for happiness and if you don’t have good health the rest seems a little trivial.

A few suggestions to improve health:

•     Eat healthy – get rid of sugar

•    Add more fruits & vegetables

•     Exercise daily

• Give up any foods with preservatives

•     Moderation with alcohol

•   Reduce red meat & fatty fried foods

• Stay completely away from fast-food

• Stop smoking

And it’s so important to wake up each day and be thankful for your health. The more we are grateful for anything in our life, the more that will continue to be in our life. So being grateful for your health is a great idea. It’s never too late to start changing our health habits to one of positive and wholesome ways.

Secret #5 – Having a Purpose

Having a reason to get up in the morning is so crucial to our happiness. Having a purpose in life is one of the great secrets to happiness. Discovering your purpose is essential to happiness. Sad to say, most people will live their whole life without ever knowing what their purpose is. Those who know at a young age are blessed. Look at the artists, musicians, & athletes who are all living their best-life on purpose.

Now anyone can discover their purpose at any age. Louise Hay did not start forming Hay House, her publishing company, until she was in her late 50’s. So please do not think that you are too old to discover your purpose. You can find your purpose at any age.

Rabbi Harold Kushner said, “Our souls are hungry for meaning, for the sense that we have figured out how to live so that our lives matter, so that the world will be at least a little bit different for our having passed through it”

I just love that quote.

The following are three ways to connect with your purpose. Ask yourself these three questions:

·      What do you love doing?

·      What brings you happiness & passion in your life?

·      Will this help humanity in some capacity?

Take time to contemplate these questions. If you want to do some journaling that usually helps bring out inner desires. Or meditate on these questions. Do not ask someone else to help you. Your purpose is a deep and personal thing to ponder and will arise from your inner-self. Write down your answers.

Your purpose is whatever you love doing, and whatever brings you passion and gives you a reason to wake up in the morning. It also has to help humanity in some way.  

And please do not let self-doubt cloud your thinking. Whatever you love doing, that brings you passion, and helps humanity is what your purpose in life is, so go for it. Gravitate towards your purpose and live the life you deserve.  

Your purpose might be coaching little league, or writing a book, or starting a youth program, or cooking meals for the poor or taking up art, or volunteering at a hospice, or a slew of other things.

Follow your bliss and take a few moments to think about what you love doing. And once you decide then do some research in that area to see how you can bring this to fruition. Go on-line and see how other people are doing it. Start a meetup group to network your passion. Join a club that is related to your passion. There are so many ways to get started. The best advice is to go within yourself and sit and listen to what you feel is the best direction to go in. No one can tell you this direction, it is navigating from your inner-self. Finally, whatever you love doing can be turned into a way to make money. Making money from your purpose in life can be financially rewarding and could very well help with having extra money for vacations, etc.

In conclusion, I want to reiterate the importance of gratitude. Studies have told us that gratitude is essential to being happy. Try to write a gratitude list daily of at least 5 things you are grateful for.

So, there you have it, my 5 secrets to happiness. If you enjoyed this blog, please pass it along to someone who can use some happiness in their life.

My website has resources to help you find more happiness on your journey in life. I have several seminars, events, retreats and online courses and my books, The Third Road & Lessons from the Needle in a Haystack are available on Amazon. I am also available for coaching.

Devine Intervention website

7 Ways to Find Purpose after the Pandemic

Why are we here? It is a big and defining question. Perhaps our inner yearning makes us come back to this question from time to time. Asking questions like this allows us to step back and come to a better understanding of what matters in life. They give us perspective on our own lives — and our mind becomes focused on the choices we must make on fulfilling our destiny.

The world seemed to tilt on its axil during the pandemic. Some people, throughout the pandemic, worked, socialized and kept their lives the same, while others wallowed in the fear that a pandemic of this magnitude causes. Many found themselves depressed and unsure of the future.

How do we find some purpose and start to live again? After many life experiences and research, what I learned is there is always good that comes out of tragedy. There are always lessons that emerge from crisis. Good always eventually prevails over bad situations.

Here are 7 ways to find purpose in life:

• Gratitude

• Connection

• Faith

• From Negative to Positive

• Set Goals

• Love over Fear

• Live in the NOW

Gratitude

Many of us are feeling a sense of gratitude for all we have after the pandemic. We appreciate our family in a whole new way, since many holidays for the last 2 years may have been spent alone or in an unconventional way. My whole family, except for me, had covid during Christmas of 2021, and I remember meeting my son by his car and exchanging a few gifts, for fear that I would catch covid. Even though it was a sad time, I appreciated seeing him for that short period. I had a renewed appreciation for my family. My family and I wound up celebrating Christmas in February. Gratitude helps us in a myriad of ways. If we are in a state of gratitude our lives become more positive and we are more likely not to complain and to see the glass half full.

In positive psychology research, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.

I suggest writing a gratitude list of at least 5 things you are grateful for at the end of the day.

Connections

It’s so important to stay connected to friends, family, and co-workers, as you did before the pandemic. Stay in touch with positive people who lift you up. If you are still wearing a mask and afraid to be around people, or you are just starting to become social again, you want to remember that covid has decreased in its strength to harm people, and there are theraputics out there that offset covid. We have to live our life in the moment or we will squander minutes, into days, days into months, months into years and before long we realize that we are still standing still while the world is going on. We only have today and most of us lost 2 years of our life in doing normal activities, so start living now. As Wayne Dyer put it, “Life is not a dress rehearsal.”

Faith

Places of worship were closed down during the pandemic. Many of us watched our services online, at home, all alone or not at all. Getting back to in-house services is crucial to help you start living again. Research shows that faith benefits us in so many ways.

For example, researchers at the Mayo Clinic concluded, “Most studies have shown that religious involvement and spirituality are associated with better health outcomes, including greater longevity, coping skills, and health-related quality of life (even during terminal illness) and less anxiety, depression, and suicide.

Faith is the foundation of our lives in order to have support during crisis and also hope with everyday life. Build that strong faith around you, like a tent that will shield you, if and when a crisis happens in your life. Being in the company of people, in a church, or synagogue, or mosque, or any place of worship, will help you move on in a positive way. It will bring you much joy.

From Negative to Positive

Look inward and see what transpires from some deep contemplation. Additionally, being positive will help your life go in a positive direction. Being positive will also help you find your purpose in life. When we are wallowing in negativity and complaints, well, more negativity will come your way. It is the law of attraction. The energy you release out into the world, will come back to you. Picture an echo chamber, when you yell the word love, love comes back. If you yell the word fear, fear will come back. When you start to feel negative and think negative thoughts, change the thought immediately to a positive one. With some effort you will be able to shift to thinking and speaking in a positive way. This is where gratitude comes into play. The more grateful you are, the more positive you will be.

Set Goals

It’s so important to have goals and dreams. Detail your goals in writing and make a game-plan to achieve these goals. Our purpose lies in those goals and dreams. Whatever you love doing, that is your purpose in life, provided it helps humanity in some way. I love writing and I use my writing to help society and in doing so it has become my purpose. However, it didn’t happen overnight. I have been writing for years. The fun has been in the journey of getting to where I want to be. This has given me purpose. When I found my purpose of writing, I was in a very dark place without any direction, once I started writing and living my purpose, the light came on and the darkness dissipatated. I felt a passion and joy that was so amazing. I find happiness in the work I do, regardless of the outcome. So, sit down and think about what you love doing and see how that would benefit society and start to take steps to achieve your goals. Just contemplating on what you love doing and therein will lie your purpose in life.

Love over Fear

Love is the opposite of fear. When you are resonating with God’s love, fear is impossible. Fear and love cannot co-exist. So, whenever you feel fear you know you are disconnected to your Higher Power. I use the word God; however, you have to resonate with the Higher Power of your understanding. Fear is an illusion and in twelve step programs the acronym is, False Evidence Appearing Real. When you think about it, fear is an illusion perpetrated by our brains that continually go back and relive nightmarish past experiences. The past is also an illusion, since it is just thoughts of things that already happened. Try to stay in love and when fear rears its ugly head, say a loving prayer or think about the love you have in your life. The main thing is to shift your thoughts from fear to love.

Live in the NOW

This moment is all we will ever have. The past is over and the future is not promised to anyone. This moment is all we have; this day is all we have. Many people squander time, which in my opinion is tragic. If we are not going to live now, when will we start living? Now is all we have; this moment you are living in is it. This is a quote I created for my book, The Third Road, Your Secret Journey Home.

This moment is all we have. Don’t believe me? Try to capture the previous moment or the future moment and change it.

I love this next quote too. I have it posted on my refrigerator, as a reminder to stop putting off travel, goals and dreams.

“If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And if I am only for myself, what am I?

AND IF NOT NOW - WHEN?” Hillel (A Jewish religious leader and sage in 40 BCE).

When we come to the awareness that this moment is it, this is all we have, most people try to make the best of the moment and naturally want to start living on purpose and reaching their goals, which they may have been putting off for a while.

Try to resonate with the moment when you go on a walk, deliberately look at the trees and the birds and the sky. Listen to people who are talking to you, really listen to them. Be present in the moment; the only time there is. And one important factor is that God or our Higher Power is only in the moment, not in the past or the future, but in this moment.

And you are never too old to realize your purpose in life. Louise Hay was 58 years old when she started Hay House Publishing Company. Samuel Jackson was 46 years old (and in recovery from addiction to cocaine and heroin) before he starred alongside John Travolta in Pulp Fiction.
And you are never too young to realize your purpose. Elizabeth Taylor was 12 years old when she started her acting career. And Sally Field got her first role as an actress at 16 years old.

In conclusion, I want to reiterate the importance of moving forward in a positive and productive way after the pandemic, since most of us already lost over 2 years of our lives since, March of 2020. Let’s move on with confidence, grace and a feeling of purpose. Be courageous as you live the life you deserve. If you want to fulfill your destiny, which was determined before you were born, realize your goals and plan to achieve them. You were created for a reason, discover that reason, as we move into a new era, one with much clarity, focus and joy.

Rachel Devine author of, The Third Road - Your Secret Journey Home & Lessons from the Needle in a Haystack - Become a Magnet for True Love.

Please check out my online courses, events, retreats & more on my website.

A Holy Pause to Discover your Purpose

When we are forced to pause in life we can take a moment to discover so much about ourselves, especially finding our purpose in life. The only way to find meaning to your life is to pause to discover your purpose. It’s in the silence of the pause that we can be awakened to many different aspects of our purpose. It is in the silence between the notes, that we find a treasure of wealth. Remember, the meaning of life is to find your gift. This true story is a testimony to a holy pause, which brings so much clarity.

It was a rainy morning in New York City. The rain was pounding against my apartment window, as I was rushing around to get ready for work. I glanced out the window to see the water from the rain had flooded the parking area, including my car. The water was past the exhaust pipe. I gasped as I went to find my knee-high boots. When I went downstairs it looked impossible for me to move my car, since the area was flooded all around the parked cars. I went back upstairs, took the boots off and summoned an uber car. The uber would be downstairs in 6 minutes.

I made my way down to wait for the uber car. I called work to tell them I was delayed. I kept glancing down at the uber app and it kept saying, 1 min for the arrival. Finally, several minutes had gone by when I saw a message on the uber app that said, “I am here.” I glanced towards the circle of my building and there was the uber driver. I was in the front of the building and he was in the circle. I motioned to him and he drove over to where I was standing. The driver said, “I was waiting around 8 minutes, I was going to leave.” I responded, “Thank you so much for waiting for me.” The app kept saying 1 min, even though you were here.”  He replied, “These apps are not always reliable.” As he pulled out, I told him to take the Cross Island Parkway, it was about a 20 minute ride according to my app. He wanted to take the Clearview Expressway. The uber driver reluctantly got onto the Cross Island Parkway. He drove for approximately ½ a mile when there was a dead stop on all cars going both ways. There must have been an accident up ahead. I apologized for urging the driver to get on the parkway and he said it was fine, he just wanted to get me to my destination. I felt like he probably wanted to kill me for the delay. I was so distraught over forcing him onto the Cross Island Parkway, which felt like a big mistake. I sat there telling myself I should never direct an uber driver, especially when they have a navigator.

We sat in silence and I texted a friend, Barbara, to pray for me because my car got flooded and I was hoping it was not permanently damaged. She texted me back that she would dedicate her rosary to me this morning. I was so grateful for her prayers. At that point I sat in the uber car feeling responsible for the delay we were in and quite miserable. The traffic was at a dead standstill. As I sat there feeling bad that I persuaded him onto the parkway, I searched my phone to see what happened. I found information that there was a bad accident right before the Northern Boulevard exit and one person was killed. I couldn’t help thinking that texting and driving can cause these types of accidents. There was a helicopter hovering overhead. The rain was beating on the window as the windshield wipers were going on overdrive. I sat there thinking to myself, here I was so upset about my car getting flooded and someone just died on the parkway. I found myself blurting that out loud and the uber driver, Mo, said, “If we weren’t delayed the 8 minutes for this ride, we could have been right in the middle of the accident. I am convinced we were delayed for a reason.”

I suddenly was thrust into a, holy pause. Everything stopped in the real world and I was thrust into a spiritual realm outside of this world. It was like a cloud had cleared and the almighty sunlight was shining into the uber car like a hallow of love from God. I could see, in my mind’s eye, a metaphoric bright light shinning through the miserable rainy day. The silence was welcoming. My thoughts stopped tormenting me about the direction we were going in. I started to realize that Mo was right. We were delayed for a reason and had I seen the uber driver by my house, we would have headed out 8 minutes earlier than we did. I sat there in this sudden holy pause where life seemed to standstill for quite sometime and what appeared so important earlier was trivial in this holy moment. I suddenly felt safe and the 90-minute delay didn’t seem annoying anymore, rather, it felt like holy time allotted by God for reflection. All I knew was that we were safe and not in the midst of that horrible accident. I felt incredibly grateful. We were safe, sitting in this uber cab in traffic on a rainy Monday morning. I took a moment to pray for the person who was killed that morning and thanked God for protecting Mo and I.

I initially thought Mo would be so angry at my insistence of going on the Cross Island Parkway and now we were talking like old friends. Mo was a man very much connected to God. He told me he felt a supernatural protection with the 8-minute delay this morning and I agreed with him. I told him I have seen these synchronized God-moments in my life in the past. It was God’s way, at times, of getting our attention. We were both having a spiritual God-given moment, that only we could both fully understand. We continued talking and he told me he lost his business due to covid. He had a textile business that went under because the China company he was affiliated with closed. He was grateful he was able to support his family by driving an uber cab. He was genuinely happy and grateful. We discussed the impact of covid on businesses. He had a daughter in college, although he looked too young to have a daughter in college. Mo was originally from Egypt. However, he lived in the US for 25 years. We talked about covid closures on businesses. I told him our power was at the voting polls and he semi-agreed and said, “I do my part.”

After a 90-minute delay the traffic cleared and we were on our way. When we reached my destination, I handed him $20. He actually said, “no that isn’t necessary it was nice just to meet you.” Wow, that was incredibly kind. That holy pause was at its very high point and I said to him, “This is the right thing to do. God bless you and stay safe.” I excited the cab as the $20 bill laid by the cup holder of the car.

Two strangers met under what seemed liked regular circumstances, however, God created what I call the, holy pause, in bringing light and love to what appeared to be a dreadful morning. God reminded us both of the power of gratitude and being thankful for the blessings all around us and the protection of God.  Our lives touched one another and we would never be the same. I was also fortunate when I got home later on to know my car was okay, just needed to be dried and cleaned out. Another reason to be so grateful.

That is the end of the story.

So, what are the lessons we can take-away from this story? I think the main thing is that, God is in charge, and that life can change on a dime. Why we were spared and the other person was killed is a mystery that no one can determine. Sure we can speculate, but the reason why things happen as they do will always be just that, a mystery of life.

So where does our purpose come into play. Our purpose comes into play with the holy pause. This incident changed my day and my life in a profound way and gave me another reason to be grateful. Pausing is the most important thing one can do to determine their purpose in life. In our everyday frenzy of life, when our lives seem to be on a rollarcoaster ride in a fast-paced world, taking time for a holy pause is crucial to contemplate our journey in life. Some of us do find purpose in tragic circumstances. For instance, if a family member is killed by a drunk driver, a loved one may opt to start an organization against drunk drivers. Or if someone died of a drug overdoes, a loved one may want to rally to change drug laws in their state. And on a positive note, when we are so moved by a holy pause in life, it could jolt us into our purpose or at the very least give us time to think about the meaning to life as it relates to each one individually.

Life is a beautiful, amazing, mystical experience and only you can determine what you were created to be. Take a little time to contemplate your life and what you would like to do to make it purposeful and a way to give to society. Your purpose is something you love doing that will benefit humanity in some way.

It could be singing in a nursing home, or doing art classes with children in hospice. It can be volunteering at dog kennel or perhaps writing a book. You might want to coach little league or read stories in a library to children. For younger people, you may even want to join the military or find a job in a non-profit helping the homeless. There are so many opportunities in life to do what you love doing and in the process help others. Remember, your purpose is something you love doing that helps society is some way. Take a holy pause to contemplate what direction you want your life to go in.

Rachel Devine is the author of The Third Road, Your Secret Journey Home & Lessons from the Needle in a Haystack, Become a Magnet for True Love.

My website has resources for finding your purpose in life, as well as events, books and online courses.

What is my Purpose in Life? Rachel Devine

Research shows that living your life with purpose is linked to living longer. Researchers surveyed nearly 7,000 older adults on the correlation between mortality and finding your purpose. Participants who did not have a sense of meaning in their lives were more than twice as likely to die prematurely as those who were living out their purpose in life. Having a sense of purpose also reduced the incidence of cardiovascular incidents like heart attack and stroke. Having a purpose is also essential for fulfillment in life and brings happiness. People are genuinely happy when they are living life on purpose. Your purpose does not have to be like a Mother Teresa mission, it can be on a smaller scale and be just as rewarding.

Everything in life has purpose. As far back as the fourth century BC, Aristotle was pondering life’s purpose and developing his theory of teleology, which is the idea that everything in life has purpose. In today’s fast-paced world, where we are being pulled in many directions similtaneously, therefore, finding your purpose in life seems more important than ever.

These are 7 steps to finding your purpose in life:

1. Focus on Yourself.

2. I Can Do It!

3. What do you Love Doing?

4. Helping Humanity!

5. Purpose over money.

6. Visualize it!

7. Gratitude.

Let’s dive right in!

1. Focus on Yourself

In order to get in touch with your purpose, you need to get in touch with yourself. Most of us live our life in a frenzy state, jumping from one task to another, with the pressures of working, taking care of our family and all the extra activities that go with a family. Even as a single person, your life can be just as active and hectic. When we go from one day to the next in a mundane routine there really is no time for growth and focus. Take time to put focus on YOU. Sit back and journal on what you want in life and what your talents are and bring these two together. It’s so important to take time for yourself, especially if most of your time is at work or taking care of a family. Sitting down and contemplating who you are and what you want to do is imperative to finding your bliss. Take some time for yourself, you deserve it. Sit back and ask yourself this very important question, “what do I want in life?”

2. I Can Do it!

Before we even begin, self-doubt will creep in with voices from our past telling us, we are not good enough, we can never achieve our purpose in life or we don’t have the talents. These voices in our head are telling us lies and it’s time to recognize these lies and call them out into the open. We are only as sick as our secrets, so getting in touch with that inner voice that whispers our so-called inadequacies and bringing them to light will help diminish their power of us. When I started writing years ago, I was also plagued with self-doubt. The way I overcame it was by just doing what I wanted to do, which was to write. I ignored the voices in my head that told me I was not good enough. It took years for me to feel confident with my writing, but like anything else in life practice makes perfect. Focus on your talents and your strengths and try to relinquish self-doubt. Say often, I can do it! This affirmation will start to resonate with your actions. The one thing self-doubt will do is talk you out of your purpose before you even begin, so be aware of that and just try to fight it off.

3. What do you Love Doing?

Your purpose is what you love doing in life. As I stated in the last step, I love writing, but it took me years to recognize this love, because I was so wrapped up in taking care of my two sons. It’s important to sit down and write out these questions. When you can answer these questions, therein will be your purpose in life; the reason you were created. Take some time to contemplate or meditate on these questions.

• What do I love doing?

• What makes me happy?

• What gives me passion?

Once you write these questions and answer them, your purpose should surface. If it doesn’t give it some more time. It could take a few days or weeks and then out of the blue your purpose is revealed.

4. Helping Humanity

Whatever you love doing that you determine is your life’s purpose, it has to align with helping humanity in some way. It has to give to the world. Your purpose has to benefit the earth, or people, or something on those lines. Here are a few examples of a purpose in life that helps humanity in some way.

• Little League Coach

• Singing in a Nursing Home

• Bringing food to the poor

• Writing

• Art

• Playing Piano for sick children in a hospital

• Creating a website that invokes peace in the world

• Creating video’s that help people in some way

• Yoga studio

• Exercise video or classes

• Creating Gift Baskets

• Life Coach

• Create a website that helps people in some way

These are some examples of following your bliss that gives to the world and helps people. Your purpose is unique and only you will be able to uncover this wonderful way you will use your talents to be on purpose in life.

5. Purpose over Money

When your purpose starts by helping people and you put that emphasis on your purpose, the money will flow in. Many people make the mistake by focusing on how much money they can make without emphasis on their purpose. However, putting the focus on your purpose over money is important because you are giving out abundant energy into the world and in doing so abundance will flow back. So, keep the focus on purpose and not on what money you will generate. In time the money will come, but the fulfillment comes from helping others. Additionally, you may be just looking for a voluntary purpose, where you don’t make any money. Of course, the choice is up to you.

6. Visualize It

Once you know what your purpose is and you start to gravitate towards making it a reality, you want to visualize a successful outcome. Just sit and imagine how wonderful it will feel if you wrote a book or you became a life coach. Sit and feel the feelings of how rewarding that would be as you close your eyes and visualize a positive outcome with your purpose. You are using the power of positive thinking to help your dream come to fruition. Just sit and visualize a positive outcome and resonate with the feelings of how it feels to be successful in your chosen purpose. This will help you manifest it faster.

7. Gratitude

The word gratitude is derived from the Latin word gratia, which means grace, graciousness, or gratefulness. Gratitude is such a big part of any dream, goal or purpose. Being a grateful person in all aspects of life is beneficial in so many ways.

In positive psychology research, gratitude is consistently associated with happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.

I would suggest writing a gratitude list daily of 5 things you are grateful for or making a mental note of 5 things you are grateful for when you go to bed at night.

Being grateful keeps the positive energy flowing and keeps us from complaining or being caught up in negative thinking.

So, there you have it, the7 steps to finding your purpose in life.

In conclusion, I want to put emphasis on the importance of doing all these steps to find your purpose. And just a footnote on what it feels like to live a life of bliss. When I am on purpose, I lose all sense of self and find myself in a wonderful realm of total bliss. When I am writing I feel like the hand of God is guiding me and I lose all sense of ego relishing in God’s glorious love and grace. It’s an amazing feeling of being in the, zone, and it can only be felt by experiencing it for yourself.

I wish you much joy, peace and success, as you travel this road of discovering the reason you were created.

Rachel Devine is the author of, The Third Road & Lessons from the Needle in a Haystack.

If you would like to check out my website, I have many resources with my books, events, online courses and so much more.

My book, The Third Road, Your Secret Journey Home, is a book that helps one find the mystical, omnipresent, inner power and their purpose in life.

How to use the Law of Attraction Rachel Devine

The law of attraction is a phenomenon that many of us have heard about and are familiar with. It is the idea that, like attracts like and that our thoughts attract what we think about into our lives. It is based on the idea that thoughts, words, feelings and actions bring about circumstances in life and can be changed by changing what we think about. This is where the power of positive thinking comes into play, especially if you want to attract positive situations into your life. I have done extensive research into the law of attraction and wrote about it in my book, Lessons from the Needle in a Haystack-Become a Magnet for True Love. I will outline, in simple terms, the steps for law of attraction and how to practice the law of attraction in your life. The law of attraction is actually broken into 3 laws. Let’s explore them and I will elaborate on what this all means.

The 3 Laws of Attraction are as follows:

• Like Attracts Like

  The first law of attraction is, like attracts like. The thoughts you think and the words you speak will come back to you. It is like being in an echo chamber, if you yell the word love, love comes back. Using positive affirmations is a way to put great energy out into the vast universe. The law of attraction is a philosophy suggesting that positive thoughts bring positive results into a person's life, while negative thoughts bring negative outcomes.

• Nature Abhors a Vacuum

  The second law of attraction is, Nature Abhors a Vacuum. In technical terms this is based on the laws of thermodynamics. What this means is, it is impossible to create a completely empty space because atoms are always bouncing around and immediately fill any empty space. Simply put, if you clear a space in your draw and it keeps getting filled with other things it is a good example of what this second law means; if there is a gap something will fill it. The second phrase expresses the idea that clearing space in your life allows room for something else to fill it.

• The Present is always Perfect

  The third law of attraction is that the present is always perfect and all manifestations are happening at once. The present moment is the only time that exists. When we are worrying about something in the future or fearing a past event that no longer exists, we are not in the present moment and therefore can't be enjoying it. We are in an illusion unless we are in the present moment. Take advantage of this moment to manifest your dreams and goals. Additionally, making an effort to shift into a state of gratitude or appreciation helps you harness the power of this law, which begins with seeing and feeling good in your body, heart, mind and spirit. Living in the present moment means being grateful for what you have now and being open to new opportunities that may come along down the road.

The law of attraction is the idea that what you think, feel and focus on attracts more of the same. For example, if you want to attract a soulmate love, you need to resonate with positive, loving, thoughts. If you want to attract more money, focus on ways to make more money and ways to keep it (i.e., save it). Also visualize having money and what you will do with that money. Remember, feelings play a big role in the law of attraction. You want to feel happy and content with your visualizations of attracting money or whatever you want to attract.

The Law of Attraction has been an ancient idea and the concept of attraction is the foundation of many philosophies, religions, and New Age beliefs. It all started back in around 391 BC with Plato when he said, “likes tend towards likes,” that equates to, “like attracts like.”

Believe it or not, Jesus was also one of the first to speak about the law of attraction when he said, “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” – Mark 11:24

By this verse, Jesus states, as you visualize/pray you need to believe in your heart that you have already manifested your desire. In other words, you need to think the thoughts and feel the emotions of the futuristic state you want. As per the LOA, this makes you a vibrational match to the thing that you desire.

Actually, it was William James who explained it in more scientific terms back in the 19th century. William James (1842-1910) was an American philosopher. He studied at Harvard University, where he became a professor of philosophy and psychology. He is best known for his philosophical work, The Principles of Psychology (1890), and Varieties of Religious Experience (1902).

You may be familiar with William James and how he fits into the Law of Attraction. Dr. Wayne Dyer says that James is one of the most influential thinkers of his time.

William James was a very well known philosopher, psychologist and a pioneering psychologist, who was heavily involved in the work of the American Society of Psychical Research. James’ work on the law of attraction includes many ideas that are common today, but his original hypotheses were not popularly accepted until quite recently.

The Law of Attraction is not just a “spiritual” or “mystical” set of principles. It is a frequently demonstrated, highly reliable, repeatable phenomenon. Because it can be experienced physically, it is also readily quantifiable. The scientific validity and reliability of the Law of Attraction has been demonstrated by extensive peer-reviewed research over the last several decades, with many thousands of experiments carried out involving all kinds of circumstances involving millions of people worldwide.

The Law of Attraction is a powerful tool. It can help you create your life in the ways that you want it to be. How successful is it? That depends on you, your commitment to make it work, and how often you apply the Law of Attraction.

The Law of Attraction is the belief that our thoughts and feelings influence the direction of our lives. Many people are attracted to this phenomenon and make it part of their daily lives. Are you looking for a new love or a healthy life or perhaps a new home? Maybe it's time to manifest what you want in life with the Law of Attraction.

The Law of Attraction says that you attract whatever you focus on. This includes positive or negative thoughts, resulting in positive or negative experiences. For example, if you focus on love and positivity, then over time your life will be filled with loving people. You'll be surrounded by friendly faces and have the opportunity to have meaningful connections with the right people.

The LOA is a universal law, like gravity or the electric charge on a particle. It is magnetic in nature, like the ocean’s influence on the tide, with its magnetic force. Or like electricity, with its invisible power. LOA doesn't care whether or not you believe in it. You can reject it from your mind and deny it with your actions, but you can't hide from it, you can't evade it and you can't forget about it. It is working in your life, whether you are conscious of it or not. It always worked in your life. They key is to have it work in a positive way. If you think back on negative experiences you might correlate your mindset at the time was negative. If you think back on happy, positive times, you might correlate your mindset was positive and happy at that time.

Another aspect of the law of attraction is thinking in limiting terms. For instance, if you are unemployed, you don’t want to have the mindset that you are in a bad financial state. Actually you want to resonate with the opposite. You want to think with abundant thoughts on prosperity, future job goals and how your job situation will turn around. You want to envision financial security. You want to step outside of the irrational thinking of lack and into thinking about abundance coming into your life.

Remember too, you have to have a game-plan behind your positive thinking. You want to set goals to make your dreams come true. If you want to meet your soulmate, you have to go to places where that is possible. Or if you start a new business, you can incorporate the power of positive thinking along with hard work. Or if you want to make money with an online business, then you have to seek out the best opportunities. The LOA is not going to manifest good into your life if you are sitting at home just waiting for it to happen. You have to have an action plan behind the law of attraction visualizations.

4 Steps to use the Law of Attraction

Affirmations

Say affirmations several time every day and remember to feel what it would be like to obtain what you want.

• I am in a loving relationship with someone who loves me

• I am a magnet for money and it flows into my life now

• I have the job of my dreams

• My business is very successful

• I am healthy

Visualizations

The next step is to visualize what you want. Just sit and see yourself in a loving relationship or good health and feel the feelings associated with being in that state. Do this several times a day for at least 10 minutes at a time. Also, surround yourself with pictures of the visualization or better yet create a vision board. A vision board is where you will post pictures and words on construction paper or a thin board that correlate with your vision. There are plenty of examples you can get online.

Gratitude

Stay in gratitude. Write a gratitude list daily on things you are already grateful for and for things that you want to be grateful for. List at least 10 things you are grateful for daily.

Meditation

Before you fall asleep each night, resonate and think about what you want to attract into your life and fall asleep with those thoughts, feelings and affirmations meditating in your mind. You are going to resonate with those thoughts for 8 hours and you want those nighttime thoughts to be positive.

In conclusion, no matter how you slice it, the law of attraction is a phenomenon that is here to stay. It’s part of the nature of life. You can use this information to bring positive change and transform your life. It’s a way to take control. The thing is, now that you have all this knowledge and awareness on the Law of Attraction, what will you do with this information? Will you shift your thoughts, feelings and speech to positive ones or just ignore this and go on with your life as it is?

The choice is always up to you.

Rachel Devine

Rachel Devine is the author of, The Third Road - Your Secret Journey Home & Lessons from the Needle in a Haystack - Become a magnet for true love.

rachel-devine.com

7 Ways to Attract your Soulmate Rachel Devine

1. Love Yourself First

2. Define what you Want

3. Release the Baggage

4. Understanding Chemistry

5. The Power of Positive Thinking

6. Manifesting your Soulmate

7. Create a Vision Board

Let’s face it, dating can be an exhausting and frustrating experience. Something as beautiful as dating has become a dreaded event. Trying to find your true love can be a daunting nightmare. Learning the dynamics of why you are not connecting with your soulmate is crucial to finding true love. After many years of research and writing my book, Lessons from the Needle in a Haystack, I learned a wealth of information that I share with you.

I will show you 7 ways to attract your soulmate by using the law of attraction and the power of positive thinking to connect with your soulmate subliminal. These two powerhouse techniques are a proven way to connect with what you want in life. The law of attraction soulmate is very different than the date you connect with on a free dating sight! The soulmate secrets you will learn about have rich information to attract your soulmate. I will give you some valuable tips in soulmate attraction and reveal those precious, valuable secrets to attract your soulmate into your life.

Let’s dive right in. Here are the first three steps to attract soulmate love:

• Love yourself First

• Define what you want

• Release the Baggage

Love yourself First

It might sound like a cliche, however, loving yourself is crucial before you can love anyone else. If you are putting yourself down constantly or resonating with self-loathing, that is what you will attract in your life. The law of attraction is pretty clear; we attract what we are. If you want to meet a kind, loving, generous man, you have to be kind, loving and generous, because the energy you put out into God’s vast universe is what will come back to you. Picture yourself in an echo chamber and you yell the word love, love comes back to you. If you yell the word, hate, hate will come back. Coming to terms with how you view yourself is an important factor to attracting your soulmate. I suggest you get a baby picture of yourself and put it where you can see it daily. Tell that baby how much you love them and resonate with loving yourself. I also suggest you go to the mirror daily and say, “I love you.” Louise Hay said that if you do that, something shifts in your physical body in 21 days that is positive. You don’t even have to mean it at first, just going through the motions will help you get to where you want to be, and that is loving yourself. Remember, we can only offer another person what we have.

Define what you Want

Knowing what you want is crucial to finding it. If you are floundering around the dating world, not sure what you want, then chances are you will never connect with it. It’s important to know what you want, then state it out loud. You are putting that energy out into the vast universe so it comes back to you, like a magnet.

Some people want to just casually date, while others might want to get into a serious relationship. Maybe you want to get married. Maybe you want to get married and have children. Perhaps you want to just meet someone who will be a friend with benefits. Maybe you just want to meet new friends. There are so many possibilities. I suggest you sit down and put some thought into exactly what you are looking for, and when you do, then say it out loud. Remember, if you can’t define what you are looking for, you will never find it.

Release the Baggage

In order to move forward it is imperative to release any baggage that accumulated from your last relationship. If you came out of a dysfunctional relationship with baggage, then you will have to come to terms with that baggage. For instance, if your ex-partner dumped you, you may be resonating with resentment and anger. Coming to terms and releasing that resentment and anger is crucial. If you don’t process the anger, it will be brought into your next relationship and be disastrous. Even if you manifest your soulmate, it will be difficult to have an healthy relationship with any kind of baggage lingering from your previous relationship. If you have any trust issues, because your ex-partner cheated, or low self-esteem because your ex-partner was verbally abusive, or a slew of other dysfunctional emotions, you must process them before moving forward. I suggest thinking honestly about your last relationship and what baggage came out of it, and then working on processing and releasing the baggage. You can do that with a therapist or a good self-help book. The key is having awareness and then working on the issues before you advance to connecting with your soulmate. Putting the work into will reap wonderful benefits.

• Understanding Chemistry

• The Power of Positive thinking

• Manifesting your Soulmate

The Mystery of Chemistry

Most single people will not even consider a second date unless there is a high intensity chemistry. Additionally, I have seen many profiles where single people specify, “I am looking to find someone with great chemistry.” Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but love chemistry is quite toxic. Yes, you read that right, it is toxic. I will explain this.

Have you ever been mesmerized by a man/woman you just met? Is it merely infatuation, a strong shot of chemistry, or budding love: the real thing?  Actually, infatuation and chemistry are essentially the same thing. And they are a very, very long way from real love.

Chemistry or infatuation is actually an attraction to a person who combines the following personality traits:

• The worst traits of our parents or childhood caretakers to infatuate us.

•   The negative traits that infatuate us and we possess but deny in ourselves.

•   The traits that we find infatuating but have been repressed in us by our upbringing.

Here is what all the above means. The person who infatuates me is, in fact, the last thing I consciously want. So, be cautious when you meet someone who reminds you of your mother or father. We all seek our “Imago,” an unconscious image of the person our childhood programmed us to fall in love with, or become infatuated with. The Imago is like a homing device that drives us to repeat ourselves, choosing over and over the facsimiles of our caretakers' worst traits. When we find ourselves saying, "You're just like my father or mother," this person who infatuates us is our Imago match.

According to an expert in this field, Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., he wrote the following:

“The Latin word “imago”—meaning “image”—refers to the “unconscious image of familiar love.” What we find is that there is frequently a connection between frustrations in adult relationships and early childhood experiences. As an example, individuals frequently criticized as a child will likely be highly sensitive to their partner’s criticism. Childhood feelings of abandonment, suppression or neglect will often arise in a marriage or committed relationship.

When such “core issues” repeatedly come up with a partner, they can overshadow all that is good in a relationship and leave one to wonder whether he or she has chosen the right mate.”

For example, a man who is seeking a submissive woman, just like his mom, seeks out a woman with similar traits. They unexpectedly meet and infatuation captivates him. Why? He is unconsciously attracted to the way the woman is speaking, or the way she raises her eyebrows, or perhaps she is very submissive and agreeable, or her smile is captivating, just like Mom. They start a conversation and infatuation strikes them both. She is unconsciously attracted to his dominance and air of authority, which equates to the fact that he reminds her of her father, a hard-nosed ex-Marine, the one she could never please because of his dysfunctional character defect of perfectionism. He securely puts his arm around her; she nestles her head on his shoulder. Together they contemplate true love and happiness forever. Is this love? No, this is full blown chemistry! 

Some of us also seek an Imago who possesses traits of our “denied self.” These are negative personality traits from our parents that we cannot see, or want to recognize in our own behavior. The perfectionism the woman perceives in this new budding love interest is the same perfectionism as her father, and she subconsciously feels an attraction to it.

By choosing a partner with the traits we deny in ourselves, such as compassion or aggression, we can rob these traits from our new partner and be a whole person without having to take responsibility for aspects of ourselves that are lacking. We seek out those traits in another person that have been buried and repressed in ourselves. 

Love has to develop over time, and is not something that happens in an instant, or a week, or even a few months. So, give your relationship time to settle into a long-lasting commitment and give a person a chance for a second date, even if there is no chemistry. Remember a little chemistry is fine, it becomes toxic when it’s high intense chemistry.

 I hope you are not disappointed in the reality of the mystery of chemistry. Also, what happens if you are head over heels over someone with high intense chemistry and the other person is not? I read many years ago if this happens head for the hills and never look back. This can only cause pain for you.

It is better to be empowered with this knowledge than to waste any more time trying to find the person who resonates with you on a toxic level. This is just a small glimpse into the fascinating world of toxic chemistry. I imagine this information has given you much to ponder. It has given me new insights and a different perspective than I had prior to doing the research on chemistry. I am now on red alert when it comes to feeling that amazing chemical high with anyone, because my rational thinking goes right out the window. 

The Power of Positive Thinking

Norman Vincent Peale was a pioneer in the area of positive thinking. In fact, he wrote a book called, The Power of Positive Thinking. His theory was that if you can imagine in full details what you want to manifest in your life, and keep that picture firm in your head daily, then you can materialize it into the physical world.

He gave an example in the book about how this husband wanted a divorce but his wife didn’t. Every night she would visualize him being in the chair next to her and having a conversation in their living room. Her husband stayed out of the house a lot, however, that did not deter her from keeping this visual of her husband being in the same room and in that living room chair. She did this visual daily. After a few months, her husband had a sudden turn around and told her he didn’t want the divorce. There was no explanation. When she asked about the divorce, he said, “what divorce?” And his wife was pleasantly surprised.

Now, this might sound very generic, however, this is how the power of positive thinking works. You hold a visual of what you want to manifest and you keep it in your head for a short time every day. Of course, other factors have to be in place, like putting yourself out there to meet someone. As they say, you will never meet anyone sitting in your living room on a Saturday night watching reruns of the Golden Girl’s.

Another factor is resonating with the same traits as you want in a partner, loving yourself and putting out kind energy into the world. You can’t be nasty to the baker in the morning and then charming to a date in the evening. Your mood has to be consistent.

Manifesting your Soulmate

At this point, manifesting your soulmate is getting more and more obtainable if you followed the previous steps. Everything in life is a process and knowing the right path is priceless. In order to manifest your soulmate, you have to define this person. Write down what they look like and all the wonderful assets you would like, from a great sense of humor, to trusting, kind, generous, loving, articulate, attentive and so on. Once you write out all the things you are looking for in a partner, you have brought this game-plan to a written intention that you can send out into the vast universe. You can do this by reading your list out loud. A written intention is powerful beyond anyone’s imagination, if coupled with the power of positive thinking.

Now you put the intention out into God’s vast universe, you want to picture this person daily with a visual. Perhaps it’s a visual of one where you are meeting or together. Keep the same visual daily, like the woman did with her husband who thought he wanted a divorce. These steps can cause miraculous results. One more important factor in manifesting your soulmate, is you have to believe in the process. It’s not as effective if you go through the motions without feeling it will happen. In fact, feelings are part of the manifesting process.

Imagine a time in your life when you were totally in love. Or a time you were with a partner and you were in a blissful, happy state. Now take that wonderful feeling of being in love or extremely happy. Attach those wonderful, blissful feelings onto the visual you have and stay with that feeling. It can be a 5-minute visual or longer.The imporant thing is to do it daily.

One other factor is your story. If you are resonating with this story, “I am too old, I will never meet my soulmate.” Or this story, “All my friends are married with children, it will never happen for me.” If you are resonating with any kind of negative story, you will just attract more negative situations.

The key is to FLIP your story around. Change it to, “People my age meets their soulmate all the time and so will I.” Or flip it to this story. “All my friends are married with children and I will meet my soulmate soon and have my own love story.”

It is imperative to resonate with a positive life story, in any situation in life, whether you want to lose weight or buy a house or get a new job. Having a positive story brings much grace and postive results into your life.

Create a Vision Board

The last step is a powerful way to create the next chapter of your life by creating a vision board. A vision board is a written intention of great power. You can use construction paper or thin board and use symbols, stickers, words and/or pictures that resonate for what you want your future to look like. My experience with creating vision boards is that around 90% of my vision will manifest at a certain point.

Here is an example of a vision board. You can create a personalized one just for you. You can find more examples online.

It’s important to remember that we have an amazing ability to navigate our lives in a positive direction by our positive thoughts, words and written intention. Every word you think, every word you speak and what you write down are all collaborating to navigate the direction of your life. Think of this as an inner compass. That inner compass is powered by your thoughts and words, and this compass is within your subconscious mind, which has total control of the direction your life goes in, whether you know it or not. Our subconscious mind was programmed in childhood and even though you are not in touch with those thoughts and feelings, it is the commander of your life. Hidden deep in the recess of your mind is a wealth of experiences and events that have taken place, that navigates what direction your life is going in. Having enough awareness to recognize this aspect of yourself is an accomplishment most will not get in a lifetime. Use this information to navigate your journey in life, after all it is your journey.

Creating a vision board programs your subconscious mind to go in the direction of your vision. The success rate of vision boards are astounding.

Current statistics available are only on small businesses. However, the results are very positive.

A survey by TD bank has revealed the following:

• Almost two-thirds of small business owners believe that visualizing goals helps them map and develop their business plans.

• One in five small business owners used a vision board or other visual representation when starting their business; 76% of those business owners said that today their business is where they envisioned it would be when they started it.

• Eighty-two percent of small business owners that used a vision board from the get-go reported that they have accomplished more than half the goals they included on that

From my own experience with my vision boards, I would say that 85% of what I put on there has come to fruition. These were a variety of visions from business, to travel, to being happy, good health and to attract my soulmate.

If you look back on your life, you may see patterns of events that make sense now. You may see times of negativity that reaped more negative happenings, as well as positive times in your life that created positive experiences. Whatever direction your life goes in, I wish you much peace, joy and fulfillment.

To learn more about the power within or how to attract your soulmate, or how to create the future you deserve, I have listed my online courses below that you can connect with on my website link.

Wishing you all a blissful time attracting your soulmate and anything else you want to attract in your lifetime.

My book, The Third Road, Your Secret Journey Home, explains the power within and how to connect with it. Along the third road you might discover your purpose in life, which brings fulfillment.

The following list are valuable resources on Devine Intervention website.

Lessons from the Needle in a Haystack - Become a Magnet for True Love

Rachel Devine’s book has a wealth of information on how to attract your soulmate, along

with valuable dating tools.

The 5 Secrets to Happiness (free guide)

This is a totally free guide.

Go to the end of the homepage to get your free guide.

How to Attract Your Soulmate

This online course is designed to show you

step by step how to attract your soulmate.

Create the Future you Deserve

This short guide will give you valuable information.

on how to create the future you deserve.

The Art of True Love - Remove the Blocks

This online course shows you how to remove the blocks.

to true love, along with valuable information on connecting to

your future partner.

The Power is Within - Live the Life you Deserve

This online course directs you to discover the enormous

power within so you can live life to the fullest.

Please subscribe to my youtube channel!

Devine Intervention website

You will find a treasure of resources.

5 Ways to Break Relationship Patterns Rachel Devine

As the author of, Lessons from the Needle in a Haystack, I did years of research into dating, relationships and toxic relationship patterns. I learned some fascinating facts on a variety of different aspects of dating, especially how to break relationship patterns, that I will share with you in this blog. I will show you how to identify relationship patterns and how to break these patterns, so you are free to meet your soulmate.

• The Origin of the Toxic Patterns

• Examples of Relationship Patterns

• Three paths of Dysfunction

• How to break the Toxic Pattern

• A Clear path to Attract a Healthy Soulmate

The Origin of the Toxic Patterns

The first aspect of toxic patterns is to understand the origin of where it started. Believe it or not, the toxic pattern starts in childhood. How we learned to love from birth to seven years old determines the type of person we will connect with as an adult. We tend to connect with this same type, over and over again, until we break the pattern, which is totally possible. In fact, I am going to show you how.

There are 4 very important developmental stages of a baby going into childhood.

• The Infancy Stage - birth to 2 years old

• The Preschool stage - 2 - 4 years old

• Independent stage - 4 - 6 years old

• Inter-dependence stage - 7 years and older

The infancy stage is the co-dependent stage from 0 to 2 year-old stage where we are dependent on our parents for survival. This is a stage in our life where the more love we receive the better. It is a stage where a baby needs nurturing, love, cuddling and a response to crying out for the babies needs.

The preschool age (2-4 years-old) is the stage of counter dependence. This state is often referred to as “the terrible twos” This is a time where the child wants and needs to assert its ability to interact with its environment. The child is gaining its autonomy from co-dependence. It is a good time to allow the child as much independence as possible, of course, within reason and safety. A toddler still needs nurturing and a sense of feeling safe in their environment.

From 4 to 6 years-old is the, Independence stage. At this time a child doesn’t need his parents to do everything for him/her and the child becomes more independent of them. A more advanced time of asserting their independence. Of course, the child still needs love, nurturing and a sense of belonging.

At 7 years-old the child is at an inter-dependence stage of being more independent of their parents and being able to do a lot on their own. At this age a child is just understanding the concept of death and may have questions about death, which is a time of reassurance.

All of these developmental stages are a crucial time in a child’s life and if one doesn’t get their fundamental needs met of love, feeling valued, and attention there are issues later on in adulthood. All or some of these different stages come up during relationships. If a child doesn’t get their needs met in these crucial developmental stages when they become adults there are an array of different dysfunctions that gets carried over to the love relationship. We also attract partners that are similar to our parents and how we learned to love. You will see how that works as this course unfolds.

John Bradshaw

Examples of Relationship Patterns

The way you learned to love from birth until 7 years-old is what you are programmed to attract into your life as an adult. This is a subconscious thought that is imbedded in your subconscious mind. It unknowingly navigates your path in love relationships. If you received a lot of love and attention in those formative years then you might not be as bad off as someone who grew up with parents who may have been on drugs or heavy drinkers. So, let’s explore this whole idea, because it has a strong impact on your adult relationships.

Let’s take an example of a friend and how she interacted with her family from birth to 7. She remembers her father worked a lot and was hardly ever home and how she really missed him, especially in the summer when her friends were going on outings with their family. She longed to be with her father. She had a younger brother who seemed to get a lot of attention from her mother. She also had to live with the staunch reality that her parents didn’t get along. Her parents seem to fight all the time. It’s so crucial for a girl to get a lot of attention from her father. It sets the stage for future relationships. An absentee father gives the message to a little girl that she is not worthy of time and attention. Furthermore, a little girl feels abandoned. And the most important aspect of this situation is the little girl does not feel loved. 

Fast forward to her early twenties and her dating life. She was very needy and wound up sleeping around with men to get that inner child need met of feeling loved,  which was not fulfilled from her father. She craved attention and love. She wound up marrying a man, exactly like her father who was a workaholic. And throughout the 10-year marriage she longed for a true relationship with her husband, the same way she longed for a good relationship with her father. They wound up divorcing in her early 40’s and for the next 15 years she floundered meeting the same type of man as her father with a different face. She would meet men who would be very disappointing and emotionally unavailable. Her whole love-life was dictated by her fathers workaholism and the effect it had on her entire childhood. Of course, she had no idea why she kept attracting the same type of man as her father, but sometime in her 50’s she started therapy and doing inner child work and it all made sense to her. However, at this stage of her life it is good to have some reasoning as to why all her male relationships failed, on the other hand it is sad to realize she wasted so much time in bad relationships because of her upbringing.

Let’s take another situation with Tom. Tom grew up as an only child in a family that worshipped him. His mother did everything for Tom as he was growing up. In fact, she spoiled him and actually made him the center of her world. Even into his late teens, his mother was still doing his laundry, making his bed, and doing everything she could for him. He never really detached from his mother and bonded with his father, because at the age of 12 his father and mother divorced. His parents fought a lot and his mother was verbally abusive to his father during these arguments. His father met someone else and got married and got busy with his new family. Tom didn’t have a good relationship with his father because his father didn’t always come around on weekends to have visits with Tom. It made Tom a very angry young man. If a boy doesn’t bond with his father at around at 12, adverse effects follow into adulthood as you will see.

Fast forward to Tom’s early twenties and his dating life. Tom became a full blown narcissist and felt the world revolved around him. His first relationship was a disaster. He met a very timid and kind woman who bent over backwards for him. She was, well, like his mother, always doing things for him. Tom was very happy, but his girlfriend was miserable. Tom was not only self absorbed, he was verbally abusive to his girlfriend and had a short temper. His unresolved anger from childhood for not having a good relationship with his father would rear its ugly head into the relationship. His verbal abuse was intense. You see he picked up this verbal abuse from watching his mother treat his father in an abrasive way. As you can see Tom was a total mess and desperately needed therapy and inner child work. I might add that now his ex-girlfriend also needs therapy and inner child work.

One last example is a girl who grew up as a middle child from a moderately dysfunctional home. In order to get attention and love from her parents, she would offer to shine her fathers shoes, do the dishes for her mother, and other chores. This gave her a sense of love and attention. Now fast forward to her forties when she met a man who pretty much decided to sit back as she jumped over hoops to get his attention in a love relationship, by offering to help him get custody of his children, and by helping him move, helping him sort out his finances and his work issues. By the end of the relationship she was exhausted from trying to get his attention and love. You see she attracted what was familiar in her childhood. She recreated her childhood home. The toxic pattern attracted a man who would sit back and not really engage in the relationship, due to all his issues, and let her do all the work. She was jumping over hoops to get some love from him, as she did as a child to get love from her parents. A relationship that is one sided is equivlant to putting a square peg in a round hole. It is not a good fit. What she finally learned was true love doesn’t have conditions and both partners need to be as close to equal as possible in the give and take area. However, before she could move forward in a healthy relationship, she had to own her part of giving so much to receive so little. She had to work on herself, because she can only change herself. There are 10-gallon people in life and there are 100-gallon people. Her ex-boyfriend was a 10-gallon man, who couldn’t give her what he didn’t have. She was a 100-gallon person and deserves to meet a 100-gallon man.

Before you can attract a true soulmate, it is imperative to recognize these childhood/adult patterns and break them. In the last section I will show you ways to break the love pattern.

Three Paths of Dysfunction

You already have taken the first step of recognizing the patterns from childhood. Once you can see the patterns that set in, you can change them. Working with a therapist is one great way to break the dysfunctional love pattern. In order to move forward with a healthy relationship, you have to work on the issues from the last one, otherwise, you will take all the dysfunction from your previous relationship into a new relationship. If you have any fear, trust issues or low self-esteem, this would have to be worked on before moving forward. Awareness of the problem is key.

• Fear

• Trust Issues

• Low self-esteem

Fear - Many people come out of a relationship either with a broken heart or some kind of fear that you think you might come up again in a new relationship. If you were abandoned in the relationship, ghosted or just dumped the fear can be intense. You have to work out the fear before moving forward. I suggest a good self-help book or therapy. Just a talking it out with a friend can help. If you are a widow and feel abandoned by your spouse dying, which is normal, you will want to work on the fears of abandonment before getting into another relationship.

Trust Issues - If you were cheated on in your previous relationship or have any trust issues from your last partner, that would also have to be worked on before moving forward into a new relationship, because you don’t want to bring these trust issues into it. Truest issues are fears with more intensity. Some people never recognize their trust issues and also never advance to a new relationship. Having this awareness gives you an edge because you have an option of working on it. The same applies here, a good self-help book, therapy or talking to a friend will help. Remember, behind trust issues fear is lurking. It’s hard to overcome trust issues, some don’t get over it in a life-time, so I suggest you really recognize it and work on it.

Low self-esteem - Low self-esteem is the easier one to deal with. After I got out of a relationship and felt low-self-esteem, I decided to give myself all the nurturing and love I gave my ex-partner as a way to build on my self-esteen. When we do wonderful deeds in a relationship, it is actually a way to build on our self-esteem in the relationship. Therefore, once the relationship is gone, so is that aspect of self-esteem. So what if you gave yourself all those wonderful deed. What I did was took off from work for a week, got a manicure and pedicure, gave myself flowers, bought a new outfit, got my hair done, went to a singles dance and a singles barbecue. What I did was show myself how worthy I am and how I want to be treated by a man, with love, respect and generosity. My self-esteem soared to new heights and it gave me a good start for the next relationship. I also looked made sure I did not bring any negativity to the next love relationship.

How to Break the Toxic Patterns

The first step to break out of the toxic pattern, like any dysfunction, is awareness. Just reading this blog has given you an edge and a wealth of information. The second part of breaking the toxic pattern is by clearing this from your subconscious mind. You can do that by recognizing the lesson from the last relationship and processing that in a letter. One way you can break the cycle is by writing a letter to your ex-partner, as a way to clear the channels.

This is how you would do it.

1. Recognize the toxic pattern from childhood and interrelate it to your adult love relationships.

   Write out any patterns you see from early childhood that relates to your adult relationships you have or had in the past. Recognizing the pattern is key to breaking the toxic relationship patterns. Take your time to go back and look at how you learned to love from birth to 7 years old and write everything down and look for patterns that relate to past or current love relationships. This is where all the answers are revealed.

2. Once you recognize the toxic patterns, write a letter to your ex-partner thanking them for all the lessons you learned in the relationship.

   When you come to terms with the fact that your ex-partner was your greatest teacher and the lessons that emerged were a learning experience for your growth, you will be on your way to freedom. Write a letter of all the lessons you learned in the relationship. For example, if you were in a verbally abusive relationship the lesson could be you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness. If you were in a relationship where you were cheated on, the lesson could be, you deserve to be in a monogamous relationship with someone that respects you and you trust. Or if you were in a relationship with someone who was not generous with his time, then the lesson can be I deserve to be with someone who spends time with me. Make sure you write all the lessons you learned and thank your ex-partner for each one. Remember, a written intention is powerful.

3. Read the letter out loud to a trusted friend, or relative or therapist or to yourself.

   It’s important to read the letter out loud so you put these powerful life-lessons out into the universe. In essence you are releasing them from your life in the hopes of never having to repeat them in the next relationship.

4. Either burn the letter in a sink or destroy the letter. As you are burning or destroying the letter you will say, “I forgive you (partner’s name) and release you to God for the good of all.”

   This ritual is a very effective way of breaking the toxic pattern. You are sending out into God’s vast universe the message that you learned the lessons from your previous relationship and don’t need to repeat these lessons in the next relationship. You are clearing the channels in your life for new love to come in and releasing yourself from the burden of resentment and unforgiveness. This also will help your subconscious mind reprogram and clear so you start to meet more healthy prospects for a partner or soulmate.

   A clear path to Attract a Healthy Soulmate

   Now that you have done the ritual you can use the power of positive thinking and the law of attraction to attract a soulmate. You will do this by writing out all the attributes you want in a partner. Don’t leave anything out. Write what you want your new partner to look like, to all the attributes you want, like good personality, great sense of humor, trusting, honest, generous, etc. This is a letter outlining your true love. Once you do that you can read this out loud to put that energy out into God’s vast universe. Read the list often to keep that energy going. Keep a picture in your mind, a good visual of who you want to meet and then let go. When you visualize your future partner, resonate with how you feel about being with that partner. Remember a time in your life when you were totally in love and resonate with those feelings.

   Now you have done all you can, it’s time for cupid or God to take over and bring you a healthy and viable partner. You can put the list in your pocketbook or another place for safe keeping. A written intention along with positive thinking visuals is key to help you connect with the person of your dreams. And you might want a life-coach to guide you along the way.

   My new online course, Break the Toxic Relationship Pattern, has more information is designed to show you step-by-step how to recognize and break the toxic relationship pattern so you can clear the channels to meet the partner of your dreams.

   My online course, How to Attract your Soulmate - Learn the Valuable Secret, will help you step-by-step, to learn how to attract a healthy and wonderful soulmate into your life. It is designed to help you break the toxic relationship patterns so you can connect with your soulmate.

   I also have another online course, The Art of True Love - Remove the Blocks. This course will show you how to remove the blocks, work through the 3 dysfunctional traits of fear, trust and low self-esteem issues, that stop you from connecting with a healthy partner. This valuable course has helped many people discover truly amazing knowledge, which brought them way ahead of the dating game.

   My book, Lessons from the Needle in a Haystack - Become a Magnet for True Love, is a valuable handbook for dating and is available on Amazon. This book has helped so many people learn how to have fun with dating and to connect to a healthy partner.

   Please share this blog with your friends.

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The 5 stages of Pet Grief Rachel Devine

Grieving a pet cat or dog can be overwhelming. Especially losing a pet suddenly. Pet grief is real. Our pets are family. Our little fur babies, whether a dog or cat, have been a Godsend, especially during the lockdown of covid. I know having my little Russian blue cat has made all the difference for me. And I know friends who treat their pets like their children. I know a friend who bequeathed her Yorkshire terrier 1 million dollars! Another friend put her dog in a baby carriage for walks. And yet another friend cooks homemade meals for her dog. Therefore, when a pet dies it can be the most devastating event of our life, because we are losing a family member. Furthermore, our pets provided emotional support and unconditional love.

Our pets become our emotional support system, whether we realize it or not. They fill the void within of lonliness, sadness, stress, anger and so much more. When the pet is no longer around, we scramble for an emotional clutch. It becomes devastating and the grief can be overwhelming. A friend said to me when her pet died, she couldn’t stop crying. The grief has to be processed to heal that wound deep within. I have helped many people cope with pet grief and I share my method with you.

Understanding the 5 Stages of Pet Grief

It’s important to understand the stages of grief. The pet owner feels a variety of feelings when grieving the loss of a loving pet. There are five general stages of grief and then acceptance slowly enters the picture. However, there are no set rules written in stone, as there can be more or less stages in grieving any type of death. However, these 5 stages are a great starting point to understanding grief.

Everyone will experience grief differently. Therefore, these stages are a range of emotional reactions to the loss of a pet.

• Shock/Denial

• Anger

• Bargaining

• Depression

• Acceptance/Healing

Shock/Denial

A feeling of disbelief and shock is very real when a pet suddenly dies. I know this is how I felt when my Siberian husky Luke died in 2018. It was devastating and I remember crying for hours. I couldn’t stop crying. Feeling shocked is very common after a pet dies, especially if the loss was sudden or preventable. Unpredictable events, like a pet dying because of an accident or sudden illness, leads to feeling numb, shocked, overwhelmingly sad and in disbelief. You might be plagued with pet grief and guilt. You might feel this way even if you expected your pet to die and had the pet euthanized. You probably will not feel like eating, might have trouble sleeping, and you will not want to be alone. That’s all part of pet loss syndrome. Or you might want to isolate. Everyone is different.

You might not want to accept your beloved pet has passed away. You might be in this state of feeling despair. Being in denial helps you with the shocked state, especially if you stay numb to it all. Being numb for a little while is fine, however, it is so dangerous because if you stay numb you can’t process the grief. And has painful as it may be to process the grief, it is what will help you heal. Feeling the pain and processing it is where the healing begins. Coming to terms with how you feel is key to future healing.

Anger

You might be angry or question why your pet died. You might blame yourself for the decisions leading up to the death and be angry at yourself. You might wonder why you didn’t know your pet was dying until the very end. You might question yourself on the decision to put your pet out of their misery. There could have been a tragic accident you feel you could have avoided. This can all lead to blaming yourself for your pet dying and feeling overwhelmed that you could have prevented it and a feeling of anger. That anger could be directed at you or someone else. From my life experience, when it is time for a pet to cross over the rainbow bridge, we cannot stop it from happening. If we could, we would be supernatural beings akin to God. Anything living will eventually die. This is a harsh truth about life and there is nothing we can do about it.

Bargaining

Bargaining comes with a feeling of helplessness and guilt, and a desperate yearning for your pet to be alive. Having a preoccupation with how this could have went in a more positive way or feeling as if you desperately want your pet to be with you, either in form or spirit, can be overwhelming. These thoughts can preoccupy your whole day. It can also lead you to resent God for what you perceive as God taking your beloved pet away. You might be angry at God. On the other hand, it could also help you feel close to God. From my own experience I lean on God in times of tragic circumstances.

Depression

Of course, all of this leads to depression. A sadness that is so overwhelming nothing can help you feel better. It’s like the world as you know it has come to an end. You might want to be alone and not deal with life’s challenges, as you continue to mourn the loss of your fur baby. You are adjusting to your new reality and it’s painful and sad. Please know that this stage will pass, as my favorite adage is, “this too shall pass.” This is a time to be gentle with yourself and grieve the loss. I know this sounds terrible, however, the more you grieve and feel the pain the more you will heal. Feeling the pain is paramount to healing.

If you stay in a numb state and don’t process the pain and grief it will come out of left field in the future and cause you to feel the grief all over again. It is better to process the grief at the time your pet passes on. People in your life may try to convince you to, “get over it,” or not understand your grief. Please know that the grief can take months or longer. There is no time-frame, this is all an individual experience. Let yourself grieve without judgement from others. And be gentle with yourself during this fragile time of grieving.

Acceptance/Healing

Acceptance is a point where you have processed the grief and you are healing. Acceptance is a healing point. If you have processed the emotions of anger, guilt and blame, and cleared the way to grieve, which is healthy, then acceptance is on the horizon and you will feel like life is worth living again. After my dog Luke died, it took me 8 months of processing the grief before I felt whole again. I did work with a good therapist, which helped tremendously. Therapy can work wonders in processing the grief and mourning the loss of your pet. Just know that there is no time-frame to achieve acceptance and healing. Take your time and you will get to acceptance. You will get back to your living your life without the constant nagging feeling of loss and pain. It takes time, give yourself that time to heal.

Call to Action

Grief is a very complicated emotion. Our fur babies are much more than family, they are our emotional support friend, they loved us unconditionally, they are with us more than anyone else, and they provide much fulfillment to fill that void within, which sometimes has a deficiency from our upbringing. We might take the loss harder than losing a family member, and if that is the case, that is okay. That pet filled an inner child need and when the pet dies, so does part of the inner child, so the pain can be overwhelming.

Therefore, the question comes up on how do we deal with this grief and pain? I am going to outline some really important ways to process the grief so you can get to a point of healing.

• Process the Emotions

• Reach out for help

• Give yourself time to grieve

• Find some Happy Rituals

• Pet Grief Support - The Rainbow Bridge support

• Pet Grief Support - How to Overcome the Grief of Losing a Loving Pet guide

Process the Emotions

The first step is to recognize the anger, or guilt you might be having. If you are in denial and feeling numb, you will have to work on that too. Sit with your feelings and try to come to terms with the anger and guilt. Blaming yourself will only hinder your healing. No matter what happened to your fur baby, just know it was their time to pass over to the rainbow bridge. That feeling of acceptance will help you get to a point of being able to grieve. Remember the anger, blame, denial, and guilt are all hindering you from grieving. Those feelings have to be processed first. Some people reach for a substance like alcohol or drugs to numb the pain. Trust me when I tell you this is the worst thing you can do. The pain will still be there and come back to haunt you in the future.

The National Library of Medicine came up with this fascinating study:

Animal owners who experience the death of a beloved family pet or companion animal may experience feelings of grief and loss that are synonymous with the death of a human. This systematic review synthesized 19 qualitative papers from 17 studies that explored the psychosocial impact of bereavement and grieving the loss of a pet. The analysis revealed five themes: Their Relationship; Their Grief; Their Guilt; Their Supports; and Their Future. By looking beyond grief, health professionals can respond to bereaved pet owners the same way they would for other forms of human bereavement and provide the necessary support to transition bereavement.

Reach out for Help

Be around people who understand your grief. People who have lost a pet or family members who will be kind and patient with you. You might want to enlist the help of a good grief therapist or find a support group that deals with the grief of losing a loving pet. There are plenty online support groups. I list one at the end of this article. Remember, your grief is not only valid, it is real and it is imperative to process the grief in order to heal.

Give yourself time to Grieve

I can’t emphasis enough the importance of giving yourself time to grieve. Grief can get stifled in our body and cause stress that causes illness and anxiety. You want to process the grief so this doesn’t happen. Our emotions get processed in our body and enough stress will cause havoc. This is called, pet loss syndrome. This can include physical symptoms, such as fatigue, insomnia, a hollow feeling in the stomach, tightness in the chest, dry mouth, and aches and pains. Processing the grief is important for your emotional and physical health. You can do that by recognizing how you feel and not pushing the pain away or stuffing it deep down into your body. Many people do that. Because if you don’t process the grief, it will come back when you least expect it and you will not know what is happening. This happened to me when my mother died and I became numb. I didn’t process the grief. I had two young boys to care for and I pushed the grief feelings aside. Many years later I was having an issue with a friend and the grief came out of left field. I couldn’t eat or sleep and I felt sick. What happened was the unresolved grief came back to haunt me. I was able to recognize what was happening, because I could feel the grief from my mother’s death in a very weird way. At that point, I had to work through the grief and it never returned.

The moral to the story is to give yourself time to process the grief.

Find some Happy Rituals

A happy ritual may be getting a picture of your pet and putting in a prayer-like setting. Or keeping the ashes of your pet or sprinkling them in a favorite stomping ground. Or getting a footprint of your pet. Buying jewelry with your pet’s name on it. Any kind of ritual that honors your pet and makes you happy is a good thing. I read a few people on social media got a tattoo of their pet’s name or face. Others who got a tee shirt with their name. A happy ritual can help you move forward. Also, when and if the time is right, you may want to get another fur baby. This is an individual decision. I had a friend who lost a dog and vowed she would never get another dog. It took her years when she finally decided to get another dog. Some people wait and others get one right away. The best way to do this is to process the grief first and then get a new pet. Getting a new pet right away will be a distraction from processing the grief, however, this is a personal decision. I got a new fur baby after 8 months of processing the grief of losing my dog Luke. I decided to get a Russian blue cat and I named her Faith. After 8 months Faith coming into my life was a blessing and life went back to normal for me as she has been a wonderful, loving fur baby.

Pet Grief Support - The Rainbow Bridge Support

The Rainbow Bridge is a website that helps honor your pet and you can get grief support from other people in the community. You can put your pets name and a whole honorary write-up on their website. It is an amazing place to be around others who have lost a pet and are also grieving. This is a community of people that support each other. Reaching out to support others can be a blessing, as people will reach out and support you.

Here is the link for the Rainbow Bridge.

Pet Grief Support - How to Overcome the Grief of Losing a Loving Pet

And last but not least, a very important form of help is my online course, “How to Overcome the Grief of Losing a Loving Pet.” I created this from research and my experience with losing my dog Luke. It will guide and help you process the grief and give you major insights to why the pain is so unbearable. The main root to that pain lies in our childhood and I came up with amazing research into this powerful knowledge. Empower yourself with my course, it will guide you on how to process the pain and get to acceptance and healing. This course has helped many people get to a healing state where their lives went back to normal.

Yes there is a pet loss hotline number you can call.

National Pet Loss Hotline: Call 1-800-946-4646

If this article was helpful, please pass it along to other people who are grieving or on social media. Please follow me on social media and please subscribe now to my youtube channel where you will find videos of all my online courses and events.

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Rachel Devine is a motivational speaker and the author of, Lessons from the Needle in a Haystack & The Third Road - Your Secret Journey Home. Both are on sale now on Amazon and Barnes & Noble online.

The Power is Within

Many people will never know the joyous power that is within them. Many of us go day to day with the same routine, getting no where in life. It’s like being on a hamster wheel, peddling furiously and staying in the same place. Each day is a mundane routine. I know, because my life was like that for many years. It was what I called at the time, being in a rut. There really was no purpose in my life. I had no idea there was a fountain of wealth within me just waiting to be explored.

The power that is within all of us can be described in many ways. Buddha describes it has a higher consciousness. Lao Tzu calls this part of us, the Dao, which is the path to virtue, happiness and harmony. Jesus refers to it as the Holy Spirit within and promised us he would send a good counselor to dwell in us forever.

Whatever you identity with this power within, know that connecting to it does bring untold joy, purpose and fulfillment. It takes us out of the conformity of the world and into a new incredible world of possibilities. This power within awakens us from our hibernation. From my viewpoint, the power within is where we access the part of us where God’s Spirit dwells. There are fleeting moments we feel this power, like through our intuition or a whisper within. Have you ever had a dangerous situation about to happen, but your instincts told you to change course and in doing so you avoided the situation? Perhaps you were about to make a big decision in life, but felt this incredible feeling telling you not to move forward and in listening to your instinct you avoided a catastrophe. Our intuition or instincts lead us on a safe path in life, when we fail to listen to that voice within, we wind up going in the wrong direction.

I created an online course based on my seminar called, The Power is within You - Live the Life you Deserve. This course has literally transformed lives. It has also helped people find their purpose in life. Once you connect with your purpose your life will never be the same. Once you connect to this power within life becomes meaningful, filled with delicious joy and peace.

Here is the big question. Do you want to stay on the hamster wheel or do you want to live life on purpose by unleashing the power within? When you unleash the power within life goes from darkness to bright luminous brilliant lights. You will finally live your potential, the life God created you to live.

The book, The Death of Ivan Illich, is a chilling tale of Ivan, a man who lives a mediocre life in a loveless marriage. He suddenly got very sick and was dying. As he was lying on his death bed he said these chilling words to his wife. “What if my life was all wrong”? Wow, what if my life was all wrong. He didn’t say, I wish I spent more time at the office, or I wish I had a million dollars, or I wish I went to Paris, he said, “what if my life was all wrong.”

Don’t let days become months, months become years, years become decades to awaken your dreams and purpose in life.

Join me on this path to the power within you. You will be happy you took the journey.

As a bonus, I created, The 5 Secrets to Happiness guide, that is free. You can get a copy on my website. Please scroll to the bottom of the page.

Please subscribe to my youtube channel where you will find my videos.

Valentine’s day - a time for love

Another Valentine’s day is coming and if you are single it might not be a day of bliss. Valentine’s day may remind you of the fact that you don’t have anyone in your life. The question is why? Why aren’t you in a loving, passionate relationship? Why are you settling for nothing, when you deserve a loving union? Do you wonder why it’s so easy for some to find love and you find yourself floundering around in the dating world with mounting frustrations? The answer lies, believe it or not, in your childhood.

How you learned to love from birth to 7 years gets embedded in your subconscious mind. That subconscious mind dictates your adult relationships. So you are dating and not even aware of a part of you that is dictating your outcome. People are totally oblivious to this subconscious dictator calling all the shots. It gets even a little more complex when you weigh in the dynamics of the dating world. So if you are wondering why you keep meeting the same man/woman with a different face, it’s because of your childhood.

Freud believed that personality develops during early childhood and that childhood experiences shape our personalities as well as our behavior as adults. He asserted that we develop via a series of stages during childhood. We know this to be true today, since there has been a ton of research on the inner child and adult relationships.

In my vast research into this, I learned so much and I share it in a course called, The Art of True Love - Remove the Blocks. In order to move forward in a loving, healthy relationship you must remove the blocks that stop you from achieving this wonderful goal of a golden relationship.

This Valentine’s day is a time to celebrate love, whether it is romantic, or with family or friends. Give yourself the gift of, awareness, into your own world so you can acknowledge ways to get into that relationship you dream of.

For more information, go to, The Art of True Love.

Give yourself Time to Unwind

When was the last time you had a full weekend just for yourself? When was the last time you devouted time to self-care? Most of us live in a fast-pace world like a little hamster on a wheel, spinning fast and getting nowhere. Our lives consists of one fast blurred day to another and the days get tangled into the same routine. It is crucial to have some down-time in our busy lives. This gives us more productivity and helps us cope better with everyday stress.

My retreat on April 14, 2023 offers you a time to unwind and get back in touch with nature and to have time to contemplate what truly is important in life. This moment is all we have, how will you use it to make your goals come true? We all have dreams and goals hidden in the recess of our minds. We can’t access them when we are competing to hear them through the loud noise of the world around us. We can only access our dreams and goals in quiet contemplative moments.

Have fun, relax and be enchanted on the beautiful grounds of Our Lady of Grace retreat center for a weekend of pure bliss. The grounds come alive in the spring time with the beauty of growth and life. You will have time to contemplate what you want in life. You will also, discover the power of the moment and manifest your dreams. The team and I are excited about this retreat. This weekend retreat offers you a chance to unwind and hear the quiet, whispers that guide you on the journey you have chosen.

We hope you join us. Please note, spots are limited so early registration is recommended. For more information you can click on this link.

Rachel Devine is the author of, The Third Road & Lessons from the Needle in a Haystack.

Having fun in the new year!

What is it going to take to get back to living a life without the fears of covid? Can we finally get back to living again, really living again, where life is fun? There were a heck of a lot of losses during covid, some major and some smaller. However, one loss we had was having fun. Truly living our life has become a thing of the past. Being light spirited, jovial, free and happy is something we have to get back to. Part of the problem lies in the fear-factor. The media is still warning us to wear masks, even though it was proven that masks don’t really help.

Furthermore, there are so many variants it makes the flu season look like a walk in the park. However, life goes on. The key is in the theraputics. If you can breath easy knowing that the theraputic treatments work, then you can get back to living. Let’s get back to what we love doing again. Go to that dance, or dinner party or club. Go to family functions and embrace your family with hugs. Get out and feel freeom ringing. LIfe is too short to live isolated and in fear.

I decided to go to Myrtle Beach last September. I was filled with fears of covid, flight delays, cancellations and leaving my cat. However, when the desire becomes bigger than the fear, there is no stopping me. So I went to Myrtle Beach and had a great time. It was so empowering and gave me a sense of freedom. None of my fears came true and I never once wore a mask. No one did on the plane. And…I had so much fun. I am looking forward to my next vacation sometime in the new year.

2023 is a blank piece of paper and how you fill that paper is your choice. You are creating the next chapter of your life and that will go into your book of life. How do you want your book to read? How do you want your year to go? How will you create it? You want to create the life you deserve. It’s all up to you. I created a zoom 1 hour event to help you get back on track for 2023. Join me as we celebrate life again.

For 2023 put “fun” on your new year resolution list. My motto is, “do it now.” No one knows what the future holds and tomorrow is not promised to anyone. Now, this present moment, is all we have. How will you use this precious moment? And how will you start having fun again?

Create the Future you Deserve

I am excited about my new online writing course that helps you create the future you deserve. The written word is powerful beyond anyone’s imagination and organizing future goals in writing form is an amazing way to reach those goals.

I remember years ago I attended a writing workshop and we asked to write a letter to a friend who would receive it in a year. In that letter we were to outline what our life was like during that coming year. I remember writing that I had a nice new apartment and a new job and I was dating a friend of mine. A year later when I opened my letter, everything I wrote about came true. Even though I didn’t even realize I wanted to move, events in my life happened that forced me to move and I found a wonderful new apartment. I never thought about the letter throughout the year, but those goals were planted in my subconscious mind and manifested in the most profound way. The power of intention and positive thinking always reaps amazing rewards.

Join me for my first online ventue called, Writing to Create the Future you Deserve. My online zoom writing course will be on Thursday, January 19, 2023 at 730pm EST. Full details are on this link on how to join. The rewards of a positive writing course are priceless. Come on this amazing adventure of writing and create the future your deserve.

Out with the Old, in with the New

We are at the end of 2022 and as I reflect on the positive highlights of the year they seem to be blurred by the negative news we get daily. It is more profitable for the news media to sensationalize tragedy, rather than heartwarming stories. I don’t like to make resolutions, however, this year I will be watching much less news and more love stories. A good Hallmark love story will offset the stress of hearing bad news. Furthermore, research has indicated that what we watch before we go to bed will resonate with us for 8 hours, so it makes sense to watch something positive or nothing at all. Reading is another passtime I stopped doing in 2022 and I vow to get back to more reading and less television. There are so many good books out there. One book that I wrote, ‘ The Third Road,’ recently got a rave review by a friend of mine. I want to share it with you:

“Just wanted to let you know while I was in NC visting my sister and my younger daughter Catlina, we were reading, ‘The Third Road,’ and we were blown away for me, again and again! So my sister said she is going to get the book for her friends at her church when she’s done reading it! This church does not believe in Catholicism, but is a full gospel church and my sister said she’s giving it to them anyway because you write with such love for Jesus that she must share your book! God is moving mountains with your books. Just wanted you to know and my brother told me to gift you this story! Love you! Dawn

Wow, that really was a wonderful gift from a friend in my prayer group who read the book recently, passed it along to her brother, (also in our prayer group) and he passed it along to his sister in NC. I loved writing the book and I even enjoy reading it. I will read it again in 2023 as a way to bring positivity to my life. As I shut out the old for 2022, in the form of the news, I will ring in the new with positive books and I will start with, The Third Road. My book brings you on a journey to discover the power within that brings much joy, peace and love. No matter what is happening in the world peace is attainable. There is a lovely saying by Norman Vincent Peale, “Change your thoughts and you change your world.”

Where are you putting your attention and thoughts? Positive thoughts always bring positive results. Out with the old and in with the new. Along your journey on The Third Road you may find your purpose in life. Having a purpose is one of the most rewarding things you can discover about yourself and it brings so much happiness and contentment.

My book is for everyone, whether Christian, Jewish, Buddist, Muslim, it really is for everyone.

Here is a small excerpt from a chapter called, ‘Your Purpose.’

Rabbi Harold Kushner put is so succinctly when he said, “Our souls are hungry for meaning, for the sense that we have figured out how to live so that our lives matter, so that the world will be at least a little bit diffferent for having passed through it.”

I just love that quote. I hope you join me in 2023 as we journey together on, The Third Road, and find much peace and joy.

Christmas is a time for Family

As we embark on Christmas of 2022, I am reminded that Christmas is a time for family. Last year my family had covid around Christmas and we wound up celebrating it in February, once everyone got well. It was disappointing, but so were many aspects of covid. This year we are hoping everyone is well enough to celebrate this festive holiday of love, peace and joy together. Once we acknowledge the birth of Christ by going to church, most of the world will celebrate with our family. Whether you are close to your family or not, many people try to get home for Christmas. Many travelers are braving the cold and the storms to get to their loved ones and some might not make it. This makes me even more grateful for my family this year and because of our distance during the past year. Many valuable lessons have emerged from covid, if you only look for them. I think the most important one is gratitude. Gratitude is always the equalizer in any storm, circumstance or problem. Being grateful in the midst of a storm assures that once you get on the other side of the storm the goal attained is more rewarding and the circumstances suddenly become more important.

If covid taught us one valuable lesson that is to appreciate our family. And as we gather around the table this year, and we acknowledge the baby infant Jesus, we come to realize that Jesus is part of our family and has been for many years. He has been at our table in Spirit and in our hearts during the storms of life. Jesus has been with us throughout covid and throughout each and every Christmas with or without family. Jesus is always within our hearts, as He promised to not leave us as orphans and to send the Holy Spirit to dwell in us forever.

Invite Jesus to your table today and better yet go to His table and receive the gift of life; the gift of the Eucharist as we celebrate the birth of Jesus, let our hearts acknowledge his joy, as we gather with our family in peace and love. Celebrate the joy of the birth of Christ and partake in His bread, for it is the bread of life. And always remember, no matter what the circumstances, family is part of Christmas and Jesus is always at the center of it all.

The loss of a pet can be overwhelming

Losing a pet is one of the most devastating trauma’s one can go through. The pain can be unbearable. You might ask yourself, why is it so painful? Believe it or not, the answer lies in your childhood. Your pet, for the most part, has been typically the most unconditionally loving part of one’s life. Let’s face it, not too many people are capable of loving unconditionally. A loving dog or cat loves totally unconditionally and that soul to soul love is very rare. So where does our childhood come into play? When our inner child needs are not met from age birth to 7 years, we grow up yearning to have that void within fulfilled. Our pet is quite amazing when it comes to filling our void within and our inner child is thrilled. Of course all of this is done on a subconscious level. So it stands to reason when your loving pet dies, part of the inner child dies along with it and this leaves one in an extremely vulnerable state with an incredible amount of pain and sorrow.

My online course, “How to overcome the loss of a loving pet,” gives you a step by step guide in getting to the root of the pain from childhood and helping one process the grief. You must process grief for it to be eradicated from your life. If you don’t, it will come back to haunt you in the future without warning. The awareness you will receive from my course will put you in the right direction of healing from the pain and moving on. You can get a copy for free on my website.

Dating Help

Let’s face it dating can be a challenge no matter how old you are. There are game players, scammers and those who are jerking others around online. How can one navigate the murky waters of dating under those conditions? My book, “Lessons from the Needle in a Haystack,” is designed to help you with dating challenges and foster fun with dating.

The first task is deciding what you want. Are you looking for a soulmate? Or perhaps you just want to casually date. Maybe you want to get married and have children. Or maybe you are looking for friend with benefits. Whatever you are looking for, defining it is crucial to obtaining it. When you enter the dating world it is imperative to define in details what you want. Once you do that, the next step is to look at your emotional readiness. Are you ready to get into a relationship or get married? My book offers a guideline on getting emotionally ready to move forward with dating. If you just broke up with a partner and are still left with emotional residual from your last relationship and have not processed it, chances are you will meet the same type of partner again. My book will help you in this area. You can pick it up on this website or on Amazon.

Grieving the loss of a Pet

The loss of a pet can be more overwhelming than any other traumatic event in one’s life. The loss is so great that many people fall into a deep depression for long periods of time. Why is the death of a pet so devastating? The answer lies in our childhood and is outlined in my online course, “How to overcome the grief of losing a loving pet.”

Most people have grown up in homes where they didn’t always get their needs met. They may have grown up with dysfunction, alcholism, addictions, absentee parents and a slew of circumstances that give a child a sense of longing for more attention. When that happens, we grow up as needy adults. This inner void ranges from not getting enough love, attention, support and this can lead to low-self esteem and other social issues.

Now, fast forward to adulthood. That void within has to be filled in some way. I call that inner being our inner child. That inner child is always looking for ways to get their needs met. Some of us fill it with various addictions, but others fill it with the love a pet. In my own circumstances, my Siberian husky Luke was an amazing dog. I didn’t realize it, but when I was struggling emotionally with an issue, he was my buffer. He was my companion on walks. We watched television together and he loved me unconditionally. He was filling that void with my inner child just by being this amazing loving dog. When he died, I experienced the most devastating pain I ever had in my life. You see, when Luke died part of my inner child died and I was reliving my childhood trauma’s, which was basically being a middle child and not getting all the love, support and nurturing a child needs for development. His death also brought up a childhood memory of when my grandmother died. Out of left field there was more grief hitting me in addition to Luke dying. My inner child was in turmoil, reliving my grandmothers death and also part of my inner child died when my best friend Luke died. All the love and support and friendship Luke gave me was now gone. This is why the pain is so unbearable.

In my online course, I will show you ways to come to terms with the death of your pet and to show you how to fill that void within. You can find this online course on my “events” page.

The Golden Girls

The Golden Girls were one of the most popular sitcom of all time from 1985 to 1992. The four comedic genius of the Golden Girls cast were Bea Arthur, Betty White, Rue McClanahan and Estelle Getty. These four women showed us that being middle age does not mean that life is over, but that life was to be lived at any age. They showed us about love relationships, dating, job issues, and so much more. They also brought a sense of friendship to those who watched them for years. They lived in Miami where a lot of people do retire, but not these women. They had careers and enjoyed their occupations. You can almost taste the orange juice as you watch them sip it during breakfast. And they almost always sorted out their problems over a fresh cheese cake at the kitchen table. Their problems ranged from sex to dating issues, to addictions, like gambling and prescription drugs, to ex husbands, being a widow, infidelity, death in the family and so much more in between. All four of these talented actress won an emmy award for her role in the Golden Girls.

In order for me to relax at night and turn off the worlds woes, I put on the Golden Girls on Hulu. I can watch any one of the 7 years of episodes on a whim, without commercials. One of my favorite episodes was when Dorothy finally met Lucas, the man of her dreams and got married. Dorothy was the one who always had a bad date, from a lawyer who wanted to be a clown, to the computer date that was still in love with his ex-wife, to the married man. She could never catch a break, until the very end, when the writers decided that Dorothy would get married. This was at a point where Bea Arthur was turning 70 and decided 7 years was enough for her and was leaving the show. She went out with a, “happily ever after” story, as she married the man of her dreams. Dorothy gave all women hope who were in their golden years, that it was possible to finally settle down with a fairytale relationship.

If you enjoy the Golden Girls as much as I do, then join me for my monthly virtual on-line Golden Girls Trivia game. We have a lot of fun showing our knowledge of the Golden Girls show and also at the end if anyone wants to imitate a line or a scene from Golden Girls they are welcome to do so. This is the highlight of the night. This game night is a way to bring people together in times of so much unrest. An hour of having some fun and hope. You can find all the details on my “Events” page.

Summer Fun

Summer is a time for fun, laughter and serenity, as one sits by the beach. The ocean has always been a place for healing and comfort. There is something very spiritual about being on the beach and taking in the breathtaking views of the vast ocean, as well as a sunset. There seems to be a rhythm and vibration when the sun sets, which is as powerful as the moons influence on the tide, as it pulls the tides in and out. There is a sychronized feeling one gets that clarifies we are all one in this vast universe and being at peace should be everyone’s goal.

Some awesome beaches in New York are Long Beach, Jones Beach, Bar Beach, Sunken Meadows and if you go way out east, Southold and Orient State Park beaches.

Relaxing on the beach takes on a new dimension for those empty nesters. It is a time to enjoy life at a slower pace then when the children were younger. My greatest memories with my two sons were being on the beach, especially Southold beach.

Whatever you do this summer, enjoy every weekend since there are only 13 weekends in the summer. Only 13 weekends! Make each one count, as we bring awareness to the fact that this day is all we have. Tomorrow is not promised to anyone. How are you going to spend your days? Let’s make it the best day ever and enjoy life.