7 Steps to Reparent Yourself for Inner Child Healing - Rachel Devine
Many of us carry wounds from childhood—whether from absent, critical, controlling, or even abusive parenting. As adults, we may still hear these hurtful voices from our past, undermining our self-worth. When negative voices come out of left field, you can be sure it is coming from the wounded inner child. The good news is that it is possible to "reparent" and care for your inner child through understanding, compassion, positive affirmations and mindfulness. With commitment to the following steps, you can transform old beliefs and finally give yourself the nurturing you deserve. It is possible to reparent yourself to heal your inner child.
Here are 7 steps to reparent yourself for inner child healing.
1. Get to know your inner child
Start by reflecting on what you were like as a child. What was your temperament? What brought you joy, and what were you sensitive to? What were your interests and talents? What did you need that you perhaps did not receive? By understanding yourself better at younger ages, you can learn how to meet those needs today. Journaling in this area is a great way to get in touch with your inner child and feelings from the past.
2. Communicate love and acceptance
Practice self-compassion by writing letters to yourself at various ages. Tell these different stages of your inner child that you love them unconditionally, not for what they achieved but simply for who they are. Assure them they are enough just as they are. Use some positive words to affirm your inner child like, you are smart, you are beautiful, and you are worthy. This helps release old unsubstantiated shame. Motivational quotations can help too.
3. Identify and validate emotional wounds
Notice when difficult emotions arise in your daily life. Or when the negative voices infringe on your day. Instead of ignoring them or reacting with anger, listen to these voices and understand where they came from. Link them to past rejections, loneliness, betrayals, experiences, trauma or abuse. Say out loud to your inner child, “What happened to you was not fair. I’m here now to support and love you.” Any positive words of support will change the inner feelings that are negative.
4. Learn to meet your needs today
Make a list of what your inner child still hungers for, whether it’s touch, encouragement, love, rest, or play. Brainstorm specific ways you can nourish yourself each day. It may help to picture speaking to your inner child and asking what he or she needs right now. In fact, get a picture of yourself as a child and communicate directly to the picture. It’s easier to love yourself if you can see a picture of you as a beautiful or handsome child. Ask yourself these questions:
What do I want?
What will make me happy?
What can I do to make this happen?
5. Practice positive self-talk
Children believe what adults tell them about themselves. If your parents were critical, rather than echoing those harsh voices from the past, begin building yourself up. Look in the mirror each morning and counter old negatives with truthful positives, for example: “I am worthy. I am capable. I am loveable.”
6. Artistic therapy
A great way to connect with the inner child and do some reparenting is to have some fun through art. Get a coloring book and crayons and have fun with it. Or get some oak tag and draw pictures or create a vision board that outlines how much you are loved and valued. Use positive words, pictures and drawings to create a vision board of self-love and care. Any creative way you choose to bring fun and love into your life will bring you joy and fulfillment.
7. Positive affirmations
Using positive affirmations is an excellent way to reprogram the mind to a positive state. It’s a perfect way to reparent yourself. Saying positive affirmations over and over will override the negative thoughts in your head. Just write out some positive affirmations on some post-its, post them where you can seem them and say them out loud as often as you can. Some affirmations are, I am loved, I am worthy, I am value, etc. Anything you say after the two words, I am, has to always be positive in order to change the mind to a positive state.
Conclusion
Our upbringing definitely shapes us, but it does not define our future. Appreciate the small steps forward on your journey of reparenting. Building new neural positive pathways can gradually transform feelings of unworthiness into empowered self-acceptance. You can create the safe, nurturing home within yourself that you always deserved. Inner child wounds take time to heal. If you feel like you still need help, I offer life coaching, and can help you with reparenting your inner child and other areas.
Rachel Devine is the author or a new book on inner child called, Discover the Power of the Secret Within - Healing your Inner Child to Manifest your Dreams. This book is available now on Amazon.
