Inner Child Healing Techniques for Emotional Wounds - Rachel Devine
Life has its ups and downs and peaks and valleys. It’s all part of the journey. However, when life becomes more of a burden than a joy, it’s time to take back your life. The center of our adversity often lies in the fact that we have some unfinished business from the past. This unfinished business can creep into our lives in unexpected ways. It usually comes in the form of anger, fear, or mistrust towards a situation or people in our lives. The inner child is usually at the center of the negative emotions that comes out when we least expect it.
There are many negative emotions that come out of childhood. However, let’s take a look at these 3 prominent emotions and see how we can connect them to the inner child healing techniques:
Life has its ups and downs and peaks and valleys. It’s all part of the journey. However, when life becomes more of a burden than a joy, it’s time to take back your life. The center of our adversity often lies in the fact that we have some unfinished business from the past. This unfinished business can creep into our lives in unexpected ways. It usually comes in the form of anger, fear, or mistrust towards a situation or people in our lives. The inner child is usually at the center of the negative emotions that comes out when we least expect it.
There are many negative emotions that come out of childhood. However, let’s take a look at these 3 prominent emotions and see how we can connect them to the inner child healing techniques:
Inner child anger
Inner-child anger is when you have unresolved anger from childhood. This can stem from your parents not being there for you emotionally, or perhaps from getting shamed or bullied. Some people carry around resentments and anger for years from their inner child wounds. Unfortunately, the anger is lying dormant until it is activated by a trigger. A trigger is an emotion come from a past memory and reminds us of a childhood wound. All of a sudden, out of the blue, the anger erupts like a pandora’s box from the past just flipped open. All of this is done on an unconscious level, since our locked emotions are in the subconscious mind, where we don’t have conscious access to.
Inner Child Fear
Inner child fear works in the same way anger does. There is some fear from childhood that was unresolved, and it sits dormant in our subconscious mind. During a trigger, fear erupts. I will give you an example from my own situation when a trigger brought on intense fear.
When I was 7 years old, my grandmother suddenly died. We went to the funeral, and her coffin was open. I remember my mother and her siblings going past the coffin and kissing my grandmother. My mother motioned for me to come to the coffin. I stood in the back of the church, alone and feeling petrified from fear. I was so afraid I would be forced to go up to the coffin. Now, fast forward to 2018, when my beloved and best friend, Luke, who was my Siberian husky, died. His death triggered the incident in the church with my grandmother, and I was filled with fear—the same petrified fear I felt as I stood alone in the back of the church as my mother was beckoning me to go up to the coffin. That was an unresolved fear from childhood that was buried in my subconscious mind, which suddenly erupted when my dog passed away. Thankfully, I was able to work through the intense fear with a very knowledgeable therapist.
Inner Child Mistrust
Again, the same premise applies to inner child mistrust. When a child is in a situation where they were perhaps sexually abused, had parents who were addicts who were not present, or just parents who could not provide a safe living space, this all creates a mistrusting nature. Additionally, it brings on the other two emotions of anger and fear. This can cause havoc in all forms of relationships, from romantic to friendships.
Let’s explore the following 7 inner child healing techniques:
Recognize your inner child through journaling
In order to heal the inner child wounds from the past, the first step is to recognize your inner child as a real part of your life. It is also important to recognize the patterns and what transpired in your childhood. Try to look back on your childhood and identify areas where you may have developed anger, fear, or mistrust. I suggest you look at any issues in your present life and look back on your childhood and journal about any patterns you find. Then, when you have the pattern in place, do some more journaling on how you felt in the past and how you feel now. Trying to recognize a pattern from an incident in childhood that relates to an incident in adulthood is a good starting point. Journaling is a great way to get in touch with your feelings.
Go back to your childhood
The second inner child technique is to go back to an incident in your childhood where your inner child needed support and love. You can go back in time through your imagination and visualization. You can visualize on a time in your life when you really needed someone to be there for you during times of anger, fear, or mistrust. Just sit and put yourself in the scene of what transpired, and be the parent to your inner child. You can speak soothing words to your inner child or hug your inner child in your imagination. This will bring amazing healing and comfort to your inner child. The more you comfort your inner child, the fewer the triggers will be in the future. If you can do this often, you will find some peace with your past.
Feel the feelings
You have to sit with the feelings. It doesn’t feel good to get wrapped up in anger or fear from the past, but it’s crucial to healing. When you sit with your inner child, embrace the emotions. It will help you heal. The only way to heal is to feel the pain from the past and then let it go. It’s a natural process of letting go. You can envision putting the emotion in a balloon and watching it drift away into the sky. Or handing the emotion over to God or your Higher Power.
Lean on your faith
Lean on your Higher Power, or God. It’s important to have a spiritual entity you trust and love to be there with you through this healing process. Stay in prayer, meditate, or light some candles, and stay in faith. Faith is important when one is feeling uneasy. Faith is a guiding light that comforts us in times of vulnerability.
Inner Child Affirmations
Use positive affirmations like "I am worthy of love" or "I deserve to feel safe" or “You are safe and I will take care of you.” This will help to reprogram limiting beliefs from childhood. Visualize the words sinking into your inner child’s heart. Using positive affirmations is a great way to reprogram the subconscious mind to a positive state. It’s also a great way to reparent your inner child.
Inner Child props
Use drawings, photos, or objects to symbolize and interact with your inner child in an experiential reparenting process. You can put a picture of yourself as a child where you can see it daily. Use the picture to tell your inner child how loved he/she is and how much you are going to be there for him or her.
Seek professional help
It is important to get professional help from a therapist or a life coach who specializes in inner child healing. Having someone to bounce off emotions is crucial since unlocking the anger and fear from childhood can be overwhelming. It’s imperative to get a good therapist to help you with this journey. The benefits will far outweigh the emotional pain you may feel from unlocking the inner child. Trauma is usually at the core of our inner child wounds. There are several techniques a good therapist can use to help you.
Many types of therapy are useful for trauma. Some examples of trauma therapy include:
These different techniques can help you with inner child pain in one session. For instance, brainspotting can unlock different negative emotions and trauma from the subconscious mind. Once the trauma is cleared, the fear or anger associated with it also dissipates. However, there are usually layers to unlock, like peeling an onion, so be patient with the process.
In closing, I want to emphasize that these inner child techniques are just suggestions and do not replace professional therapy; they enhance professional therapy. I have used these techniques, and they do work. I have also used therapy to help with inner child wounds. Remember, inner child work is emotionally messy, and you may feel more angry or fearful, but with patience and continued work, you will come out on the other side with a liberated emotional state of happiness and joy.
Rachel Devine is the author of, Discover the Power of the Secret Within - Healing the Inner Child to Manifest your Dreams.
Take the Inner Child Quiz for Healing: Step by Step Audio Guide - Rachel Devine
Each one of us has something in life that keeps us from moving forward or perhaps negatively impacts our relationships, or keeps us hostage in our addictions or obsessions. This would include food addictions, as well as drugs and alcohol.
Inner healing starts with recognizing our inner child wounds. I can confidently say we all have some inner child wounds that fester within us, sometimes for many years. These inner wounds continue to cause negative patterns that are destructive to our lives. The key to healing is to know what you need to heal from. The inner child quiz has 12 pertinent questions that can help you access your own inner child wounds. Furthermore, each answer to the questions will give you a good idea on what area you actually need healing.
Each one of us has something in life that keeps us from moving forward or perhaps negatively impacts our relationships, or keeps us hostage in our addictions or obsessions. This would include food addictions, as well as drugs and alcohol.
Inner healing starts with recognizing our inner child wounds. I can confidently say we all have some inner child wounds that fester within us, sometimes for many years. These inner wounds continue to cause negative patterns that are destructive to our lives. The key to healing is to know what you need to heal from. The inner child quiz has 12 pertinent questions that can help you access your own inner child wounds. Furthermore, each answer to the questions will give you a good idea on what area you actually need healing.
Take the inner child quiz. This is the quiz on my website. Or you can take the inner child test with my audio guide below.
Once you take the quiz there are several ways you can start your inner healing. One way is to get my new book, Discover the Power of the Secret Within - Healing your Inner Child to Manifest your Dreams. You can get an instant ebook download. My book gives a step by step guide to inner child healing.
You can also consider my life coaching, full details on this link.
Or get my free guide to start your healing, How to Heal your Inner Child - 7 Step Video Guide.
And of course a good therapist that deals with inner child issues would be helpful.
The inner child quiz is on the audio link below. If you have any questions, please contact me.
The suggestions on this audio and in this blog are just that, suggestions. The author is not responsible for the outcome and always recommends therapy for those that need it.
Healing Through Shadow Work: Addressing Inner Childhood Trauma - Rachel Devine
Many people carry pain and wounds from childhood trauma that manifest in unhealthy ways. These adult issues come out of left field like anger issues, resentments, shame and fears. Shadow work offers a path to heal these old hurts by embracing the shadow self. There are several ways it helps people process suppressed trauma and restore wholeness. Let’s explore inner child shadow work and how it releases inner child trauma.
Many people carry pain and wounds from childhood trauma that manifest in unhealthy ways. These adult issues come out of left field like anger issues, resentments, shame and fears. Shadow work offers a path to heal these old hurts by embracing the shadow self. There are several ways it helps people process suppressed trauma and restore wholeness. Let’s explore inner child shadow work and how it releases inner child trauma.
What is shadow work?
The "shadow self" refers to aspects of ourselves that we deny or suppress—emotions, needs, desires, and beliefs that feel unacceptable. Shadow work is the practice of bringing conscious awareness to these suppressed parts so they no longer control one's life unconsciously. Trauma gets stored in the subconscious and it’s important to release that trauma in order for its hold on you to vanish.
Shadow work typically includes exercises such as journaling, meditation, and creative expression like art to explore one's repressed thoughts and emotions. By facing the shadow and bringing it out to the light, one can release these neglected parts of themselves and regain power, creativity, and wholeness.
Processing Trauma Through Shadow Work
When children experience trauma—abuse, neglect, loss, or overly critical environments—they adopt coping strategies to survive. This often requires suppressing vulnerability, needs, or feelings to avoid further hurt. These feelings could include anger and fear that get pushed down into the child’s mind without processing the feelings.
Shadow work helps shine light upon these long-buried hurts harbored by one's inner child self so they can be grieved, expressed, and healed consciously. This reduces their control over one's life and helps release them from the subconscious mind. Shadow work can help with inner child healing.
Common inner child shadow techniques
Inner child dialogues: Expressing suppressed emotions and needs and reparenting one's inner child with compassion.
Identifying negative core beliefs and rewriting empowering mantras.
Free writing and art therapy to uncover buried memories and feelings.
Exploring emotional triggers and their roots in childhood experiences.
Active imagination: having inner child self-guided visualization.
By gently bringing traumatic memories, emotions, and beliefs into present awareness, they lose their grip over someone. Old survival coping strategies of disassociation or repression give way to embracing grief, vulnerability, and authenticity.
Is shadow work effective for healing trauma?
Research into shadow work remains limited, but psychologists believe exploring the shadow can lead to transformative personal growth and trauma recovery. Case studies show individuals report renewed senses of self-love, personal empowerment, and emotional resilience. Please note, it is imperative to find a therapist that specializes in inner child healing for you to deal with this type of shadow work.
Cindy's Story: Releasing Inner Childhood Pain
Cindy suffered low self-esteem, defensiveness, and fear of intimacy after being severely criticized in childhood. Through her therapist, she wrote letters expressing the feelings and needs buried inside her inner child self that she had long repressed.
She visualized dialogues where she could now meet these needs for love and safety as an adult with her own self-love. Releasing years of shame and grief led Cindy to embody greater compassion towards herself and others. Her self-sabotaging behaviors diminished, and her relationships dramatically improved as she integrated her once-wounded inner child's pain through shadow work.
Conclusion
Shadow work allows people to address the root causes of emotional wounds within the inner child. By compassionately releasing that which lies in darkness, profound healing and empowerment can occur. Further research is still needed, but the evidence and case studies suggest this can transform traumatic childhood pain into greater authenticity and wholeness. Of course, it’s imperative to enlist a good therapist who specializes in inner child shadow work, in order to get the full benefits of healing inner child wounds.
Rachel Devine is the author of a new inner child book called, Discover the Power of the Secret Within - Healing your Inner Child to Manifest your Dreams. This book is available now on Amazon.
Amazon review: The book really got deep on how our subconscious mind works and how important it is to not fall into the negativities and train yourself to think positive always . I really enjoyed it and it was very inspirational and really broadened my knowledge of how our minds work . I really recommend it ! Tina
Devine Intervention - Inner Healing Center.
If you have any questions, please contact Rachel Devine.
Connect with your Inner Child through a Guided Meditation - Rachel Devine
If you want to connect with your inner child, the best way to do that is through meditation. John Bradshaw, an expert in the field of inner child, boldly suggests we go back to our childhood home. I was fascinated with the idea of going back to my childhood home. I did a ton of research into this concept and really was able to connect with my inner child through meditation. Not only did I connect with my inner child, but I was able to connect in a way that brought my inner child a lot of joy. I share my experience with you, along with a guided meditation in order for you to connect with your inner child.
If you want to connect with your inner child, the best way to do that is through meditation. John Bradshaw, an expert in the field of the inner child, boldly suggests we go back to our childhood home to connect with our inner child. I was fascinated with the idea of going back to my childhood home. I did a ton of research into this concept and was really able to connect with my inner child through meditation. Not only did I connect with my inner child, but I was able to connect in a way that brought my inner child a lot of joy and healing. I share my experience with you, along with a guided meditation, in order for you to connect with your inner child.
I remember the first time I went back to my childhood home. I was filled with joy and sadness. I remember the tears streaming down my face, but nonetheless, the joy of being in my home, in my meditation, felt as if I were really back in time. And for all I know, I was back in time, in a space that was very real for me.
If you would like to connect with your inner child, the most profound way to do it is by going back to your childhood home.
Below is a meditation that gently guides you back to your childhood home in order to connect with your inner child. This is an easy-flow type of meditation, so don’t think about it; just go with the flow. This meditation is a great way to connect with your inner child. And please note, there is no right or wrong way to do this.
Before you do this meditation, make sure you have a friend or therapist in your life that you can talk to about inner child healing. Inner child wounds sometimes run deep and having a support system is highly recommended.
Rachel Devine is the author of, Discover the Power of the Secret Within, Healing the Inner Child to Manifest your Dreams. It’s on Amazon now.
The information contained in this blog and meditation is intended for educational and not for diagnosis, or treatment of any health disorders. Although every precaution has been taken, the author takes no responsibility for errors or omissions. Neither is any liability assumed for damages from use of the information contained herein. The author does not dispense emotional or physical advice without recommending the advice of a physician, mental health doctor or therapist. The intent of the author is to offer general information of self-development, and in the event you use any of the information in this blog or meditation the author, assumes no responsibility for your actions or the outcome.
What does ‘Inner Child’ Mean? Understanding and Healing Your Inner Child.
You might hear about the inner child and see a blog and decide to pass over it. You may have a false image of what the inner child actually means. The reality is, we all have an inner child. Inner child is not some far out concept from the 90s, it’s a very real part of everyone’s life. It’s not something you can ignore forever, because it has a great impact and power over your life, whether you realize it or not. If you keep the pandora’s box of the inner child long enough, it will eventually cause untold conflict. So, the question begs, what is the inner child?
The inner child refers to the vulnerable, emotional part of one's personality that forms in early childhood. It contains our core feelings, needs, desires, fears, anger, and memories from the first years of life. Even as adults, this childlike part of us will emerge at times, especially when we feel threatened, anxious, or afraid. Recognizing and nurturing this inner child is key to our emotional wellbeing.
You might hear about the inner child and see a blog and decide to pass over it. You may have a false image of what the inner child actually means. The reality is, we all have an inner child. Inner child is not some far out concept from the 90s, it’s a very real part of everyone’s life. It’s not something you can ignore forever, because it has a great impact and power over your life, whether you realize it or not. If you keep the pandora’s box of the inner child long enough, it will eventually cause untold conflict. So, the question begs, what is the inner child?
The inner child refers to the vulnerable, emotional part of one's personality that forms in early childhood. It contains our core feelings, needs, desires, fears, anger, and memories from the first years of life. Even as adults, this childlike part of us will emerge at times, especially when we feel threatened, anxious, or afraid. Recognizing and nurturing this inner child is key to our emotional wellbeing.
First step is connect with your inner child.
How to Connect with Your Inner Child
Noticing intense emotions: Strong feelings like excessive anger, sadness, or shame often represent "tantrums" of an aching inner child. Pay close attention when this happens.
Identifying childlike desires: Cravings, especially for comforts like sweet or fried foods, can indicate the inner child is seeking to be nurtured. Another tell-tale sign of the inner child coming out in your life and why most of us can’t keep the weight off.
Being aware of regressive behaviors: Do you become especially needy around certain people or situations? This suggests the inner child feels endangered.
Intense anger for small infractions is tied to the inner child. If you get angry easily, at the slightest thing, you can pretty much bet it is coming from a past situation from childhood that is being triggered by the person or situation you are angry about.
Feelings of fears of abandonment in adult relationships are also a sign of triggers from past childhood wounds. If your partner is going away on a business trip and you feel fearful, that is from an old childhood wound.
Considering what "age" you feel: Specific situations may trigger memories of when you were 5, 10, or 15 years old. Pay attention to any pattern of anger or abandonment issues and when you first felt that way.
By stopping when big feelings surface and asking, "How old does this make me feel?" you can connect to this child part. These are all ways to recognize how your inner child causes havoc in your life. The goal is to heal the inner child.
How to soothe and comfort your inner child.
How to Soothe and Comfort Your Inner Child
Ways to nurture the inner child when painful emotions arise include:
Offer understanding through inner dialogue. Validate how the inner child might feel frightened, rejected, unseen, angry or unloved. Say, “You’re not alone. I hear you, and I’m here for you now.” Being there to reparent your inner child is a comfort.
Provide physical comfort: rock gently, wrap arms around yourself, or let hands rest protectively over your heart.
Engage the senses: hold a soft blanket or stuffed animal, sip warm herbal tea, or play soothing music. Allow your mind and body to relax.
Supply emotional support. Cradle the inner child in compassion, empathy, and patience. Say aloud reassuring statements like “You are so precious to me” or “You deserved better, and you have me now.”
Self-love equals self-care, especially for healing the inner child
Self-Care techniques
Self-care is essential to form a loving friendship with your inner child. Taking care of your adult needs is crucial.
Some of those self-care needs are simple:
Love
Companionship
Nourishment
Exercise
Rest and vacation time
Affirming words of comfort
Healthy meals
Hot bath or spa day
Having quiet time
Make a concerted effort for one full month to do extra special things for yourself and see how much that makes you feel loved and cared for.
The Power is in the Moment
The power of the moment
Most importantly, commit to showing up wholeheartedly for yourself, flaws and all. Living in the moment is crucial to being there for yourself. When you think about it, this moment is all we have. Shining this light of presence into the darkest recesses of your inner world illuminates pain built up over a lifetime. It can initiate so much inner child healing. With time, consistency, and courage, genuine self-care heals old wounds. Gradually, the fierce outbursts of an indignant inner child give way to the peaceful presence of your authentic self, emotional maturity, and personal power. You want to graduate to this state of being happy, rather than fight invisible emotional wounds from the past.
If you feel like you need help, I offer life coaching, and can help you with reparenting your inner child and other areas.
Rachel Devine is the author of a new inner child book called, Discover the Power of the Secret Within - Healing your Inner Child to Manifest your Dreams. This book is available now on Amazon.
Devine Intervention - Inner Healing Center.
If you have any questions, please contact Rachel Devine.
7 Steps to Reparent Yourself for Inner Child Healing - Rachel Devine
Many of us carry wounds from childhood—whether from absent, critical, controlling, or even abusive parenting. As adults, we may still hear these hurtful voices from our past, undermining our self-worth. When negative voices come of of left field, you can be sure it is coming from the wounded inner child. The good news is that it is possible to "reparent" and care for your inner child through understanding, compassion, positive affirmations and mindfulness. With commitment to the following steps, you can transform old beliefs and finally give yourself the nurturing you deserve.
Many of us carry wounds from childhood—whether from absent, critical, controlling, or even abusive parenting. As adults, we may still hear these hurtful voices from our past, undermining our self-worth. When negative voices come out of left field, you can be sure it is coming from the wounded inner child. The good news is that it is possible to "reparent" and care for your inner child through understanding, compassion, positive affirmations and mindfulness. With commitment to the following steps, you can transform old beliefs and finally give yourself the nurturing you deserve. It is possible to reparent yourself to heal your inner child.
Here are 7 steps to reparent yourself for inner child healing.
1. Get to know your inner child
Start by reflecting on what you were like as a child. What was your temperament? What brought you joy, and what were you sensitive to? What were your interests and talents? What did you need that you perhaps did not receive? By understanding yourself better at younger ages, you can learn how to meet those needs today. Journaling in this area is a great way to get in touch with your inner child and feelings from the past.
2. Communicate love and acceptance
Practice self-compassion by writing letters to yourself at various ages. Tell these different stages of your inner child that you love them unconditionally, not for what they achieved but simply for who they are. Assure them they are enough just as they are. Use some positive words to affirm your inner child like, you are smart, you are beautiful, and you are worthy. This helps release old unsubstantiated shame. Motivational quotations can help too.
3. Identify and validate emotional wounds
Notice when difficult emotions arise in your daily life. Or when the negative voices infringe on your day. Instead of ignoring them or reacting with anger, listen to these voices and understand where they came from. Link them to past rejections, loneliness, betrayals, experiences, trauma or abuse. Say out loud to your inner child, “What happened to you was not fair. I’m here now to support and love you.” Any positive words of support will change the inner feelings that are negative.
4. Learn to meet your needs today
Make a list of what your inner child still hungers for, whether it’s touch, encouragement, love, rest, or play. Brainstorm specific ways you can nourish yourself each day. It may help to picture speaking to your inner child and asking what he or she needs right now. In fact, get a picture of yourself as a child and communicate directly to the picture. It’s easier to love yourself if you can see a picture of you as a beautiful or handsome child. Ask yourself these questions:
What do I want?
What will make me happy?
What can I do to make this happen?
5. Practice positive self-talk
Children believe what adults tell them about themselves. If your parents were critical, rather than echoing those harsh voices from the past, begin building yourself up. Look in the mirror each morning and counter old negatives with truthful positives, for example: “I am worthy. I am capable. I am loveable.”
6. Artistic therapy
A great way to connect with the inner child and do some reparenting is to have some fun through art. Get a coloring book and crayons and have fun with it. Or get some oak tag and draw pictures or create a vision board that outlines how much you are loved and valued. Use positive words, pictures and drawings to create a vision board of self-love and care. Any creative way you choose to bring fun and love into your life will bring you joy and fulfillment.
7. Positive affirmations
Using positive affirmations is an excellent way to reprogram the mind to a positive state. It’s a perfect way to reparent yourself. Saying positive affirmations over and over will override the negative thoughts in your head. Just write out some positive affirmations on some post-its, post them where you can seem them and say them out loud as often as you can. Some affirmations are, I am loved, I am worthy, I am value, etc. Anything you say after the two words, I am, has to always be positive in order to change the mind to a positive state.
Conclusion
Our upbringing definitely shapes us, but it does not define our future. Appreciate the small steps forward on your journey of reparenting. Building new neural positive pathways can gradually transform feelings of unworthiness into empowered self-acceptance. You can create the safe, nurturing home within yourself that you always deserved. Inner child wounds take time to heal. If you feel like you still need help, I offer life coaching, and can help you with reparenting your inner child and other areas.
Rachel Devine is the author or a new book on inner child called, Discover the Power of the Secret Within - Healing your Inner Child to Manifest your Dreams. This book is available now on Amazon.
Healing Your Inner Child: A Path to Awareness Rachel Devine
Inner child dynamics can be confusing and complicated. It’s important to break it down to size in order to start the inner child healing process. Our inner child represents the part of us that holds childhood memories, emotional needs, trauma, and subconscious beliefs formed in our early years. Most of us carry over our childhood dysfunctions into adulthood. This dysfunction can range from addictions, to anger issues, insecurities, low self-esteem and other social issues. Healing the inner child leads to greater wellbeing and happiness.
Inner child dynamics can be confusing and complicated. It’s important to break it down to size in order to start the inner child healing process. Our inner child represents the part of us that holds childhood memories, emotional needs, trauma, and subconscious beliefs formed in our early years. Most of us carry over our childhood dysfunctions into adulthood. This dysfunction can range from addictions, to anger issues, insecurities, low self-esteem and other social issues. Healing the inner child leads to greater wellbeing and happiness.
Inner child healing
Defining the Inner Child
The inner child is our feelings, energies, needs, vulnerabilities, experiences, our neurological imprint. Simply put, the inner child is part of your personality that still feels and acts like a child.
According to psychology expert John Bradshaw, “The inner child dwells within all adults. It’s the part that feels emotions and carries our intuitions, creativity, spontaneity, and playfulness.”
The inner child develops in childhood as a means to adapt to our environment. But if traumatic, it creates core wounds, driving dysfunction.
Bradshaw stated, “The healthy inner child brings forth wonder, joy, playfulness, and creativity.” However, the unhealthy inner child brings out the worst in us. Exploring the inner child can feel like opening up a Pandora’s box, but it is crucial to find healing.
What is the Inner Child in adulthood?
The following are signs of the inner child coming out in adulthood.
Hypersensitivity to perceived rejection or exclusion
Reacting defensively or impulsively when criticized
Craving nourishment, affection, or praise from others
Struggling with boundaries or priorities
Fearing abandonment or loss in relationships
Defaulting to shame or inadequacy when struggling
Intense anger issues
These are just some issues that indicate an inner child issue has reared its ugly head in your adult life.
Ways to Heal Your Inner Child
Open a caring dialogue with your inner child by connecting to your feelings. Give your inner child permission to freely communicate its buried feelings and needs.
Validate inner emotions and pains with empathy. Offer the unconditional love you craved but didn’t receive growing up.
Set healthy boundaries if your behaviors are destructive. For example, provide comfort when sad, but limit tantrums or acting out with anger.
Reassure your inner child’s worthiness and intrinsic goodness. Replace old negative self-beliefs with positive truths. Always use positive affirmations towards yourself.
Healing your inner child meditation. Go back to a time when your inner child was in pain in a meditation and reparent your inner child with love and safety.
Inner child healing therapy is a great way to find healing. Find a good therapist that is right for you.
Speak encouragingly and affirm their strengths. Foster their self-confidence. And use self-loving words to your inner child.
Comfort your inner child when you’re feeling upset using visualizations, stuffed animal hugs, or consoling letters.
Indulge in play, creativity, and joy through art and other creative ways; this nourishes the inner child’s spirit.
Get a picture of yourself as a child and say often to the picture, “I love you.” It will make a difference.
Enlist a good life-coach to help.
With consistent loving care, your inner child transforms from a hindrance in your adult life into a source of vitality, wisdom, and strength. The more you embrace this part of yourself, the more healthy your relationships will be at home, at work and with friends. Feeding your inner child with love and compassion is the greatest gift you can give yourself.
Rachel Devine is the author of a new inner child book, Discovering the Power of the Secret Within - Healing your Inner Child to Manifest your Dreams.
Devine Intervention - Inner Healing Center.
Let me Introduce You to Your Inner Child-Rachel Devine
The inner child represents the part of your psyche that holds childhood memories, feelings, wounds, personality traits, and unmet developmental needs. Becoming aware of this aspect of yourself is crucial to healing the inner child. We all have an inner child with issues, whether you realize it or not. By raising awareness of this subconscious inner child, you can start the healing process through inner child work, that will allow you to move forward in life in an easier fashion. So what is inner child healing? Let’s explore this aspect of inner child. Let’s look at ways to recognize and do some inner child work.
The inner child represents the part of your psyche that holds childhood memories, feelings, wounds, personality traits, and unmet developmental needs. Becoming aware of this aspect of yourself is crucial to healing the inner child. We all have an inner child with issues, whether you realize it or not. By raising awareness of this subconscious inner child, you can start the healing process through inner child work, that will allow you to move forward in life in an easier fashion. So what is inner child healing? Let’s explore this aspect of inner child. Let’s look at ways to recognize and do some inner child work.
Inner child healing by understanding the inner child
Recognizing your inner child
Some signs your inner child is active include:
Hypersensitivity to perceived rejection or exclusion
Reacting defensively or impulsively when criticized
Craving nourishment, affection, or praise from others
Struggling with boundaries or priorities
Fearing abandonment or loss in relationships
Defaulting to shame or inadequacy when struggling
Intense anger issues
These are just a few of the signs that your inner child is emerging, usually during stressful times or times of emotional trigger. Emotional triggering happens when we are confronted with an event that subconsciously brings us back to childhood event that was upsetting or traumatizing, and the intense emotions come out of left field. Inner child channels are raw, vulnerable emotions and instincts. Notice when excessive moodiness, neediness, or insecurity arise, often revealing your inner child’s outsized influence.
A very telling time is during road rage. If you become intensely angry during road rage, chances are that is your inner child raging from within.
What is your Inner Child and Connecting to it?
Let’s introduce yourself to your inner child. You can become increasingly aware of your inner child through the following:
Journaling: Dialogue with your inner child in writing to uncover their feelings.
Visualization: Use your imagination to picture your inner child. What do they look like? How do they feel?
Body sensations: Notice where you hold stress physically when upset. These body clues reflect the inner child.
Childhood reflections: Review memories and influences from your upbringing for insights.
Inner child healing meditation: Go back into your childhood and meditate on a time of distress and be with your inner child. See what he or she is telling you about their feelings.
Honoring the Inner Child
You can start integrating your inner child through:
Speaking to your inner child internally with compassion is very rewarding. Thank your inner child for being there and bring as much love as you can to your child.
Spending time doing activities your inner child enjoys, like dancing, coloring, or playing is rewarding.
Allowing yourself to cry or feel sadness with self-kindness rather than dismissing it.
Displaying old childhood mementos and pictures can invoke fond feelings. Get a picture of yourself as a child and tell that child how much you love him or her daily.
Doing your best to provide for the inner child’s needs—whether play, connection, validation, nourishment, or rest is so important. Practice self-care in all areas and be aware of your needs and wants.
Gaining awareness of your inner child allows you to update harmful programmed beliefs and consciously respond to your inner needs with wisdom, understanding and love. Inner child work leads to wholeness, self love and releasing old wounds and dysfunctional patterns.
Rachel Devine is the author of a new inner child book, Discovering the Power of the Secret Within - Healing your Inner Child to Manifest your Dreams.
Devine Intervention - Inner Healing Center.
I Think I Can, I Think I Can, I Think I can! It All Starts with Your Inner World! Rachel Devine
I love that children’s book, The Little Engine that Could. The big phrase in the book is the little engine says repeatedly, “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can. It’s such a positive affirmation of hope in achieving the little engines goal of going over this big mountain. We also have mountains we want to climb over in life.
We all are capable for unimaginable success, and climbing over mountains, if we realize that our inner world is a big factor in determining how we progress in life. Most of us are oblivious to this crucial part of our lives that dictates almost every decision we make.
The wounded inner child, carrying baggage from childhood wounds, abandonments, or critical messages, can undermine our success in life through self-doubt, excessive need for external validation, perfectionism, and other limiting patterns and beliefs. By understanding and healing this part of ourselves, our inner child transforms from foe to friend. This transformation helps one to be successful in any endeavor they undertake including, losing weight, running a successful business, becoming a writer, an actress, giving up an addiction, making lots of money, etc.
Let’s look at this in an easy way to truly understand it.
I love that children’s book, The Little Engine that Could by, Watty Piper. The big phrase in the book is the little blue engine says repeatedly, “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can. It’s such a positive affirmation of hope in achieving the little engines goal of going over the big mountain. Many of us also have mountains we want to climb over in life. Some are goals and other mountains are obstacles.
We all are capable of unimaginable success and climbing over mountains, if we realize that our inner world is a big factor in determining how we progress in life. Most of us are oblivious to this crucial part of our lives that dictates almost every decision we make and we wind up in a circular driveway, going nowhere fast.
The wounded inner child, carrying baggage from childhood wounds, abandonments, or critical messages, can undermine our success in life through self-doubt, excessive need for external validation, perfectionism, feeling unworthy, and other limiting patterns and beliefs. By understanding and healing this part of ourselves, our inner child transforms from foe to friend. This transformation helps one to be successful in any endeavor they undertake including, losing weight, running a successful business, becoming a writer, an actress, giving up an addiction, making lots of money, finding your soulmate, etc.
Let’s look at this in a comprehensive way.
Identifying Inner Child Sabotage
Unconscious ways your inner child may sabotage success include the following:
Needing others’ approval before acting on inspiration.
Abandoning projects when you hit roadblocks.
Talking down to yourself with criticism.
Only feeling worthy with perfect outcomes.
Isolating when feeling overwhelmed or depressed.
Self-medicating the empty void with food, alcohol, or drugs.
Staying stuck, envisioning the worst-case scenarios.
Low self-esteem.
A feeling of unworthiness.
The inner child operates behind the scenes by distorting thinking around present-day goals based on old conditioning. Those negative thoughts that come out of left field and invade your mind are the dialogue of the inner child from the past. This negative dialogue is a block to good relationships, family connections, success in business and so much more.
Transforming Inner Dialogue
Bring conscious awareness to times when you undermine progress through harsh self-judgment, doubt, isolation, unworthiness, or seeking excessive reassurance. Pause and identify this as the inner child’s fearful influence. If you want to start a project or move towards a long-awaited goal and you can’t get past self-doubt, it’s time to really look at the inner child and your thoughts.
Rather than reacting the same old way to negative self-talk, consciously respond with compassion towards yourself. Provide the unconditional love and affirmation your inner child craves to heal old wounds. Forgive perceived imperfections. Turn negative dialogue into positive ones. Create a self-loving environment. Build on your own self-esteem by giving to yourself in a nurturing and generous way. When you direct your own love toward yourself, you are building a strong relationship with the most important person in your life, and this will carry over to every area you want to succeed in.
Positive affirmations
Positive affirmations are positive phrases, or statements that are used to offset negative thoughts. You can use them to motivate, encourage positive changes in your life, or boost your self-esteem. Affirmations also penetrate the subconscious mind, if said with enough feeling, and this in turn will help your life move in a positive direction.
You can build positive affirmations by writing them out and saying them out loud as often as you can. Some ideas are, I am worthy, I am loved, I am confident, I am successful, I found my soulmate, I am healthy, and I am making lots of money. Or you can make positive statements, such as, I now express health, happiness, prosperity, and peace of mind.
Gradually, this positive self-parenting transforms your inner voice from sabotage to an uplifting cheerleader. The light of awareness dispels unconscious shadows and you might find yourself succeeding in areas you thought were not possible.
Replacing negative patterns
As dysfunctional patterns loosen through inner child healing, proactively build positive habits that serve your goals, like consistent practice in moving towards your goal, dividing tasks into manageable steps, and celebrating small wins. You can also journal with positive affirmations and replace any negative intrusion of thoughts immediately to positive ones. This alone can help you transform to new heights. By building positive habits that serve your goal, you are on your way to succeeding in the goal you choose. Additionally, a “To do list” will keep you on track in moving in the direction of your goal.
Louise Hay, founder of Hay House Publishing and author and teacher says this about the inner child:
“Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.”
Picture your words as being in an echo chamber. What you say comes back like an echo. This is the law of attraction working, as like attracts like. Changing dialogue to a positive state will move your life in a positive direction.
Remember, it’s so important to let your inner mentor emerge to help manifest dreams rather than allow past pain to dictate your present moments. Befriending your inner child removes blocks to claiming your joy and success. Be the parent to your inner child that will help you grow into the person you were meant to be. Remember, if you think you can, then you can do it. Stay positive and focused and your dreams will manifest into reality.
Rachel Devine is the author of, Discovering the Power of the Secret Within - Healing your Inner Child to Manifest your Dreams.
My new event is January 31, 2024 7:30 pm on Zoom, “Master the Power of Manifestation. Turn your Dreams into Reality.” Click on this link for more information.
Devine Intervention - Inner Healing Center.
Why is Dating so Hard? The answer May Shock you. Rachel Devine
If you are part of the dating scene, you know that it is highly dysfunctional. The dysfunction ranges from getting stood up, to connecting with the same dysfunctional person with a different face; perhaps you were ghosted after numerous texts; or you are attracting scammers, and the list goes on and on. Why does something so soulful, loving, and beautiful sometimes turn out to be a disaster? And the answer will surprise you. The answer as to why dating is dysfunctional resides within you. Let’s explore this in detail and see what is happening on the inside that is causing dysfunction on the outside. We want to look at how to break toxic relationship patterns. And we will explore how to attract your soulmate. The power of manifestation is a big factor, so let’s look at all of this together.
If you are part of the dating scene, you know that it can be very hard, at any age. The challenges can range from getting stood up, to continuously connecting with the same type of person; to getting ghosted after numerous texts; or perhaps attracting scammers, and the list goes on and on. Why does something so soulful, loving, and beautiful sometimes turn out to be a disaster? And the answer may shock you. The answer as to why dating is dysfunctional resides within you. Let’s explore this in detail and see what is happening on the inside that is causing dysfunction on the outside. We want to look at how to break toxic relationship patterns. And we will explore how to attract your soulmate and also look at the power of manifestation, which is a big factor in the scheme of dating.
Like attracts like
First off, we attract into our lives what we are resonating with within us. In other words, if you are resonating with angst, stress, and negativity, you are sure to get more angst, stress, and negativity in the dating world and other areas of your life. On the other hand, if you resonate with kindness, love, and a positive attitude, you will attract the same. The law of attraction is clear: like attracts like. However, most of us are wallowing around in negativity when it comes to dating, so the key is to get around that and change your own attitude to fit what you are seeking.
The inner dictates the outer
Believe it or not, how you learned to love from birth to 7 years old is a big component in connecting to true love. Our subconscious mind is storing all that transpired in childhood. Now, to go one step further, the subconscious mind drives our lives 95% of the time! So it stands to reason that we are navigating our life with all that transpired in childhood. This is one of the reasons why most of us continue to attract people who are similar to our father or mother in the dating world.
Example
Here is an example of a pattern from childhood into an adult relationship of a friend of mine. Nancy was a middle child, or, as they call them, the forgotten child. She used to do good deeds to get love from her parents. She would offer to do the dishes, shine her father’s shoes, or help her mother with the housework. That is how she learned how give and receive love, but doing good deeds. This was her way to love from birth until she was 7 years old.
Fast forward to her first relationship. She met a man who was overwhelmed as a single parent with two kids, a demanding job, and financial issues, plus he had a big family that came first in his life. He wasn’t engaged in the relationship at all, and Nancy felt like she had to jump over hoops to get his attention. Nancy tried to help him out by giving him advice about his job, helping him move, and giving him support in any way she could with the children. She didn’t realize it at the time, but she was doing good deeds to get his attention, just like she did when she was a child. She replicated her childhood in this relationship, and he was actually a combination of her father and her mother! This became a pattern for Nancy in her future relationships. A good relationship has to be balanced where both parties get their needs met.
The Fix
The fix is to change part of the subconscious mind. The way to offset the subconscious is to reprogram what it was fed in childhood. The time to do that is at bedtime. As you are going into a sleep state, you are going from a conscious to an unconscious state, which is when the subconscious mind can be reprogrammed. The unconscious state is a powerful one of transformation.
The first step is to decide what you want to change. If you want to meet your soulmate, the most simple way to do this is to imagine being in a balanced, loving relationship with someone and resonating with the feelings. It is the feelings that penetrate the subconscious mind.
An expert in the field of the subconscious mind, Neville Goddard, makes the following statements:
The subconscious never fails to express that which has been impressed upon it. The moment it receives an impression, it begins to work out the ways of its expression. It accepts the feeling impressed upon it, your feelings, as a fact existing within itself and immediately sets about to produce in the outer or objective world the exact likeness of that feeling."
A step-by step guide to manifest your dreams
This is a step-by-step guide on how to change one aspect of the subconscious from a negative to a positive state. We will work on manifesting a good relationship and how to attract your soulmate.
Picture one image of what you want to have in your life as if it were already here. In this case, we are going to manifest a loving relationship.
Picture yourself in a loving, balanced, and happy relationship with a new partner. Just use one image. I suggest an image where you are embracing your future partner or on a date. You don’t have to go into specific details of what is going on or what this person looks like; just imagine being together in a way that makes you feel loved.
You will then resonate with the feelings of being in a healthy relationship. You would feel loved, secure, happy, content, joyful, excited, etc. Remember, it is the feelings that will resonate with you for 8 hours and reprogram the subconscious mind. Love is the strongest emotion to offset any other emotion.
Fall asleep with these wonderful feelings of love and the image in your mind.
Do this for at least 30 days. You will wake up feeling happy, after all you fed your unconscious mind loving thoughts.
Please note that you can do this for anything you want to manifest in your life. If you want to lose weight and get healthy, picture yourself healthy and slim and resonate with those positive feelings as you fall asleep. If you want to get a promotion, picture one image of having a promotion. If you want to increase your wealth, picture being wealthy.
These manifesting techniques will help you manifest your dreams.
Higher consciousness
You might ask yourself, How can reprogramming my subconscious mind make something I want materialize in my life?
According to many spiritual and philosophical teachings, the subconscious mind is part of a greater universal consciousness, referred to as God, Source, or the Universe. I proudly call this power God, which is the power behind manifestation in all its glory. This higher consciousness, or God, is considered the fabric of reality, and our subconscious mind is believed to be a conduit connecting us to the power of God. In more simple terms, what we feed the subconscious mind with feelings gets imbedded in the subconscious, and God brings it to form. I truly believe this is the powerful secret behind creation in all its magnificent glory and form.
The source of all power comes from our higher power, which is the source of all power in the world. God is the light that shines in our world, which eliminates darkness and brings goodness to form. God’s power is what brings miracles to light, goodness to the world, and hope to mankind. And this same power is what manifests our dreams into reality.
In closing, remember that it is your inner child that is part of the subconscious mind dictating what direction your life is going in. It makes sense to reprogram the negative from childhood into a positive. If you want your life to go in a positive direction, you have to feed it positive thoughts and feelings.
“A change of feeling is a change of destiny." Neville Goddard
Rachel Devine’s new book, Discover the Power of the Secret within - Healing your Inner Child to Manifest your Dreams, is on Amazon now.Devine Intervention: Inner Healing Center
Ways to Recognize when your Inner Child Sabotages your Relationships-Rachel Devine
The wounded inner child, carrying baggage from past hurts or abandonments, often undermines romantic partnerships unconsciously. This is a very scary notion that there are aspects of each and every one of us that we are not aware of. By understanding your inner child’s dynamics and the way it acts out, you can heal its pain and break free of relationship-destroying patterns. But only when you can understand it, can you really heal its fury and live a happy life. Inner child healing starts with you.
The wounded inner child, carrying baggage from past hurts or abandonments, often undermines romantic relationships unconsciously. This is a very scary notion that there are aspects of each and every one of us that we are not aware of, which can destroy a relationship. By understanding your inner child’s dynamics and the way it acts out, you can heal its pain and break free of relationship-destroying patterns. But only when you can understand it, can you really heal its fury and live a happy life. Inner child healing starts with you. And make no mistake about it, we all have an inner child that causes havoc from time to time. Furthermore, those who are just ‘unlucky in love,’ might see a pattern from childhood to adult relationships that explains this dilemma. If you are dating and meeting the same type of dysfunctional person, with a different face, it’s time to look at the inner child. Awareness is the key to solving any issue. Let’s explore all of this together.
Defining the Inner Child
According to psychology pioneer Carl Jung, the inner child represents our instincts, vulnerabilities, feelings, and unmet needs from childhood. John Bradshaw, an expert in the inner child and author of Homecoming, further defines it as “the accumulation of all unmet childhood needs and wants that make up the childhood energies still expressing themselves in our adult lives.” John Bradshaw was an advocate for reparenting our inner child.
This inner child dwells in the subconscious mind, influencing behaviors independent of adult awareness. Our reactions to romantic partners frequently reflect the inner child’s projections. To be clear, the subconscious mind is like a vast memory bank holding all of our past traumas, experiences, and feelings from our inner child. During times of stress or triggers, the subconscious mind or inner child lashes out in very unexpected ways that are often unexplainable.
Inner Child Dynamics
The inner child dynamics are not complicated. There are 4 stages of infancy development. Let’s look at these stages:
The first stage is the infancy stage. This is the co-dependent stage from 0 to 2 years old, where we are completely dependent on our parents for survival. This is the stage where we need a lot of care, nurturing, and love. It’s a time in our lives when we depend solely on our parents for survival.
The preschool age from 2 to 4 years old is the stage of counter-dependence. This stage is often referred to as “the terrible twos.” This is a time when the child wants and needs to assert their ability to interact with their environment. The child is gaining his or her autonomy through co-dependence.
From 4 to 7 years old, there is the independence stage. At this time, a child is becoming independent and doesn’t need his or her parents to do everything, and the child becomes more independent of them.
At seven years old, the child is at an inter-dependence stage of being, which is much more independent from their parents than previous years, and pretty much can do most things for themselves.
All these developmental stages are a crucial time in a child’s life, and if a child does not get their fundamental needs met, there will be issues that develop later on in adulthood.
How we learned to love from birth to seven years old in our family of origin will determine our subconscious imprint that gets embedded in our brain. These imprints will determine who we connect with as a partner. When we get into adulthood, we attract those people who fulfill our innermost subconscious needs. This imprint from childhood is what we subconsciously navigate with when seeking out a partner in life. This is why it’s important to understand that we attract what we are resonating with. Additionally, this is the reason why most people marry a clone of their mother or father!
Recognizing Inner Child Havoc
Some signs your inner child is sabotaging your relationships include the following. These are all reactions to triggers, which would be a stimulus that elicits a reaction stemming from a negative childhood experience.
Extreme defensiveness or mistrust of your partner’s intentions
Severe jealousy about harmless interactions
Constant need for validation and reassurance
Major mood swings or emotional sensitivity
Fear of enmeshment or losing yourself
Panic when feeling alone or abandoned
Difficulty with true intimacy and vulnerability
Inability to keep a healthy relationship
Extreme anger issues or fears
John Bradshaw explains: “The wounded inner child inside many people can destroy loving relationships. Your childhood wounds affect your relationships.” These wounds stem from the inner child’s neediness. This is due to not getting your fundamental needs met as a child, from infant to 7 years old. It is a good idea to explore this time in your life and what transpired. The patterns in our family of origin are usually what we bring into our relationships, friendships and work environment.
Healing your inner child
To short-circuit destructive inner child responses, self-awareness of the triggers through mindful observations of your emotions and reactions is key. The first step is to be aware of the problem and not ignore it. Then intentionally reframe your self-talk. It’s hard to do this in the heat of the moment, but reflecting back on the conflict you had with your partner is key to awareness because you can look at it during a calm time and adjust your actions in the future.
As an example, if abandonment wounds cause you to interpret your partner’s business trip as intentional neglect, remind yourself, “This is my inner child projecting past fears of abandonment. My partner loves me and is coming back.” Recognizing a pattern from childhood that correlates with the adult situation is the first step to healing.
For instance, if your father was working all the time when you were a child, you may have developed fears of abandonment, so your partner going on a business trip could trigger these painful feelings from childhood. Remember, all of your traumas and experiences are locked away in your subconscious mind and will get triggered when stressful events happen that jolt those inner child feelings. When you identify a pattern, you can go back to the time of the trauma from childhood and comfort and love your inner child in a meditation. John Bradshaw boldly suggests we go back to your childhood home and visualize your inner child in pain and comfort him or her. It is the most loving thing you can do for yourself.
Self-love
Self-love is crucial to having a healthy inner child. Cultivating secure relationships also involves reprogramming core relationship beliefs in your subconscious mind—for example, that you are worthy and loveable. Visualization, affirmations, and therapy can help instill self-reliance, regardless of your partner’s proximity or validation. It all starts with a firm, loving foundation in your relationship with yourself. Healing the inner child is crucial, and so is this inner child work. You have to be the one who is strong in your own skin, and it’s important to develop a good-loving, secure relationship with yourself. You can do this with daily affirmations and visuals of being strong alone, so when you are alone, your subconscious will draw on the visualization. I used to do a meditation where I would sit on my higher power’s lap as a child. In my case, I proudly call my higher power God. In this meditation, God would instill in me that I am worthy and loved, and I can never be abandoned because His spirit dwells within me. Of course, you have to use the higher power of your choice. Just imagine your higher power telling you how valued and loved you are, and give you assurance that you can never be abandoned.
Positive Affirmations
These positive affirmations are a good start to changing the negative subconscious to a positive one:
I am happy.
I am loved.
I am strong.
I am secure in my own skin.
I am at peace.
I am a child of God.
The more compassion, understanding, love, and stability you extend to your inner child directly, the less it will act up unconsciously in your relationships. It is like reparenting yourself with much love. You deserve that peace and stability. Using positive affirmations daily is a good start.
In closing, the inner child is a multifaceted issue and really does demand your attention. It is important to explore your inner child, who is very real and a very big part of your life, and try to see the patterns of self-sabotage when they happen. It will help your relationship become happier. Remember, awareness is the key to overcoming any obstacles in life. Having a loving relationship with yourself is the single most important thing you can do to heal the inner child.
Rachel Devine’s new book, Discover the Power of the Secret within - Healing your Inner Child to Manifest your Dreams, is on Amazon now.
What is your Inner Child? Discover the Power of the Secret Within - Rachel Devine
You might ask yourself, what exactly is the Inner Child and how does it affect me? I will explain all you need to know about what the inner child is and how it affects you in this article. I will use an important excerpt from my new book, Discover the Power of the Secret Within - Healing your Inner Child to Manifest your Dreams!
The dynamics of our inner world are pretty intense. However, as I open up the nucleus of the inner child you will see how easy it really is to comprehend.
I will start from the beginning. What transpired in our childhood determines how we develop as adults. Some of the things that transpired in childhood will plague you as an adult with things like alcoholism, drug or food addictions, anger issues, intimacy issues, fear of abandonment, commitment issues, claustrophobia, sexual disorders, continuous relationship failures, workaholism, paranoid tendencies, narcissism, fears, etc. These issues get embedded in the inner child’s psyche and carries into adulthood. This all stems from the roots that took place with the inner child and what went on in your early childhood.
You might ask yourself, what exactly is the Inner Child and how does it affect me? I will explain all you need to know about what the inner child is and how it affects you in this article. I will use an important excerpt from my new book, Discover the Power of the Secret Within - Healing your Inner Child to Manifest your Dreams!
The dynamics of our inner world are pretty intense. However, as I open up the nucleus of the inner child you will see how easy it really is to comprehend.
I will start from the beginning. What transpired in our childhood determines how we develop as adults. Some of the things that transpired in childhood will plague you as an adult with things like alcoholism, drug or food addictions, anger issues, intimacy issues, fear of abandonment, commitment issues, claustrophobia, sexual disorders, continuous relationship failures, workaholism, paranoid tendencies, narcissism, fears, etc. These issues get embedded in the inner child’s psyche and carries into adulthood. This all stems from the roots that took place with the inner child and what went on in your early childhood.
Inner Child Definition:
So, what does it mean when I refer to the “Inner Child”?
The inner child is our feelings, energies, needs, vulnerabilities, experiences, our neurological imprint. Simply put, the inner child is part of your personality that still feels and acts like a child.
The inner child that developed in each of our individual childhoods is what navigates our subconscious mind and drives our decisions in life, without realizing it. The subconscious mind holds all your experiences, traumas, and family interactions. The subconscious mind is the navigator of most of your life and is very powerful. In fact, the subconscious mind is in charge of 95% of your life, that includes your actions, decisions, and pretty much all that you do in a day.
When we struggle to move forward in life, or to get out of a bad relationship, or we struggle to start a love relationship, or we cower down in arguments, all of these decisions are coming from the subconscious mind of the inner child. That imprint that was embedded in our mind at different developmental stages is ingrained in our subconscious mind and our adult intellect tries to reason with certain decisions we make, but usually will lose out to the fear or insecurity of the inner child. And most people are oblivious to this conflict that is going on within them and have no clue as to why they make certain decisions that are unhealthy for them. Make no mistake about it, when I say, “subconscious mind,” it means we are totally oblivious to what is happening in that part of our psyches.
Stages of the Inner Child
Let’s look at this in stages. There are four important developmental stages of the inner child.
The first one is the infancy stage. This is the co-dependent stage from 0 to 2 years old where we are completely dependent on our parents for survival. This is the stage where we need a lot of care, nurturing, and love. It’s a time in our lives that we depend solely on our parents for survival.
The preschool age from 2 to 4 years old is the stage of counter-dependence. This stage is often referred to as “the terrible twos.” This is a time when the child wants and needs to assert their ability to interact with their environment. The child is gaining his or her autonomy from co-dependence.
From 4 to 7 years old, is the independence stage. At this time, a child is becoming independent and doesn’t need his or her parents to do everything, and the child becomes more independent of them.
At seven years old the child is at an inter-dependence stage of being, which is much more independent from their parents than previous years, and pretty much can do most things for themselves.
All these developmental stages are a crucial time in a child’s life, and if a child does not get their fundamental needs met, there will be issues that develop later on in adulthood.
Inner Child Relationships
How we learned to love from birth to seven years old will determine our subconscious imprint that gets embedded in our brain. When we get into adulthood, we attract those people who fulfill our innermost subconscious thoughts. This imprint from childhood is what we navigate with when seeking out a partner in life. If you are wondering why you are having a hard time finding the right partner, look no further than your inner child for the answer. You can improve your love-life with some knowledge about the inner child, that will help you navigate the dating world successfully.
Example of Inner Child Tantrum:
It is important to understand the dynamics of the inner child with an example:
I will never forget this incident, which is an example of fears of abandonment from childhood. These fears develop when we don’t get our fundamental needs met, or we are emotionally abandoned by our parents because of their own dysfunctions.
I was walking my dog, Luke, at the time, and there was a white SUV stopped at the corner for the stop sign. The window was open and I could hear this man screaming at someone on the phone saying:
“You are never home, we don’t eat together anymore, you don’t cook, you are such a witch” (although he used the b word), and he was berating her.
I am sure the more he yelled and became angry the more she retreated and wanted to stay away from him. It was a vicious circle. And I thought to myself, all he wants to say to her is that he is lonely and feels abandoned and would like to spend more time with her. But I suspect his inner child, feeling hurt and being triggered by her pulling away, is setting off his fear of abandonment issues, so he is lashing out with intense anger, reverting to the way he behaved as a child. He was trying to get his needs met and she was pulling away, so his anger became out of control. The fear of abandonment starts with fear and morphs into intense anger.
This is just another example of how the inner child wreaks havoc in our relationships and is in charge and very powerful. It dictates how we behave in certain circumstances. It controls us in a way that we are totally oblivious to. It subconsciously navigates our entire life. This man screaming at his partner is just labeled as temperamental and he had no clue that what took root in childhood determines his temperament as an adult.
Another Inner Child example
I think most of us can relate to this example of road rage. When someone cuts me off on the road, I go from fear to anger in an instant. The reason is because fear from childhood rears its ugly head and the person who cut me off has triggered that fear, which usually instantly morphs to anger. I find myself sitting in my car ranting and raving about almost having an accident and in that moment my inner child is dictating my angry words and actions.
In closing, I want to say that there are ways to reprogram the subconscious mind and change the negative imprint of the inner child. You also have the power to manifest your goals and dreams with this process of reprogramming. Get a copy of my new book, Discover the Power of the Secret Within and learn the secret within that will transform your life!
Rachel Devine is the author of Discover the Power of the Secret Within, a book about the inner child and subconscious mind, The Third Road, a book that gently guides one to the power within and their purpose in life, and Lessons from the Needle in a Haystack, a spiritual book on dating and relationships. All are on Amazon.
Devine Intervention - The Healing Center website.
Please leave your ideas in the comments. Or please also feel free to contact me. I will answer all emails
Press Release: Discover the Power of the Secret Within - Rachel Devine
This book is about creating yourself anew. It is about discovering the power of the secret within, which is elusive and mysterious. The power within you is a well-kept secret. Most people will not learn about it in their lifetime. It has positively transformed millions of lives. Those who discover the power of the secret within will be richer than any successful billionaire in the world.
Do you have long-forgotten dreams that you want to make a reality? Do you want to lose weight, start a business, find your soulmate, get a promotion, get healthy, or end an addiction? Well, now is the time to move forward and make your dreams a reality. I will show you exactly how to do this. Make no mistake about it, you have this miraculous power within to create your destiny.
Press release for: Discover the Power of the Secret Within: Healing your Inner Child to Manifest your Dreams, Rachel Devine
NEW YORK, NY USA, November 19, 2023/ Independent publishing KDP. Featured on Amazon.
Non-fiction-self-help genre.
This book is about creating yourself anew. It is about discovering the power of the secret within, which is elusive and mysterious. The power within you is a well-kept secret. Most people will not learn about it in their lifetime. It has positively transformed millions of lives. Those who discover the power of the secret within will be richer than any successful billionaire in the world. Therefore, let’s dive into this intriguing notion in detail.
Do you have long-forgotten dreams that you want to make a reality? Do you want to lose weight, start a business, find your soulmate, get a promotion, get healthy, or end an addiction? Well, now is the time to move forward and make your dreams a reality. I will show you exactly how to do this. Make no mistake about it, you have this miraculous power within to create your destiny.
However, there can be blocks to realizing your dreams. There is another power called the subconscious mind that is in charge of almost every decision, every move, and every thought you make in life. Most people have no idea why they have a chip on their shoulder, or why they keep meeting the same type of dysfunctional romantic partner, or why they have issues at work, or why they have deep-rooted resentments, and the answer lies within. Discovering this aspect of yourself with awareness will empower you to transform your life in a positive way.
Your inner child is part of the power of your subconscious mind, that has been picking up messages way before it was able to fully process what was going on (mentally and emotionally). The subconscious mind holds all your emotions, memories, experiences, traumas, and beliefs from the past. This dual force, the subconscious mind and inner child, drives your life 95% of the time! This is an incredible revelation. I will explore this dual action-packed power in one of my chapters.
I will also link a distinct pattern with our addictions to early childhood interactions and show you why it plays a big factor in determining perhaps your own addictions, or as I call them, vices. I will also show you ways to heal from these vices.
I will help you come to the empowerment state of taking back your life and teach you how to manifest your dreams into reality.
I will also explore grief and how it relates to all of this. Do you ever wonder why losing a beloved dog, or cat, or any kind of pet, makes a person feel as if the grief is more devastating than losing a parent? There is a reason behind that intense grief, which I will address in one of my chapters. Furthermore, not only will you come to understand it, but you will be able to deal better with the pain and grief of losing a loving pet.
We all have choices. One choice is to continue to go about your life in a way that is oblivious to the power of the inner workings, whereas you can just continue to live in an unconscious state of daily routine, accepting limitations in intimate relationships, as well as in your career and other areas, and perhaps allowing fears to dictate what direction your life goes in.
Or, you can become acutely aware of what is going on with your inner child, and your subconscious mind, each a driving force, and actually change the course of your journey in life.
You can learn how to change the way it has a negative impact to a positive impact on your life. Knowledge is power and awareness is the key. I will show you how to change the subconscious imprint that the inner child developed onto your brain in childhood, so you will be liberated from the chains of the negative, inner child influence. This will give you an edge in all areas of your life from dating to career decisions to family interactions.
One of the reasons why dating is so dysfunctional is due to inner dynamics and I will go into very specific details on this and show you ways to overcome this dilemma.
My goal is to help you move forward in areas of your life you thought were not possible. You will also learn the powerful secret on how to shift the subconscious mind to create exactly what you want in life. I will explain, step by step, how this powerful secret within will help you create your destiny. You have the power to manifest anything in life, from success, to wealth, to love, to good health, and so much more. I will guide you on how you can do this. It may sound foreign to you at this time. However, by the time you finish reading this book, you will have an amazing awareness and knowledge of the power of the secret within.
In closing, I want to tell you I am so excited about getting my book published. It took a lot of blood, sweat and tears, but I did it! I self-published my book on KDP, which means I did everything, from the cover, to the interior, and even to some of the editing! The few people that read my book already have been impacted positively by the powerful message. My book has valuable information that most people won’t learn in a lifetime. Embrace this moment, the only one we have, and get my book so you will be among those fortunate people who learn the valuable secret of the power within!
Also by Rachel Devine, The Third Road & Lessons from the Needle in a Haystack. Both on Amazon!
Devine Intervention - Inner Healing Center
Ways to Recognize when your Inner Child Sabotages Your Relationships - Rachel Devine
The wounded inner child, carrying baggage from past hurts or abandonments, often undermines romantic partnerships unconsciously. This is a very scary notion that there are aspects of each and every one of us that we are not aware of. By understanding your inner child’s dynamics and the way it acts out, you can heal its pain and break free of relationship-destroying patterns. But only when you can understand it, can you really heal its fury and live a happy life. Inner child healing starts with you.
Our relationships are precious. The wounded inner child, carrying baggage from past hurts or abandonments, often undermines romantic partnerships unconsciously. This is a very scary notion that there are aspects of each and every one of us that we are not aware of. By understanding your inner child’s dynamics and the way it acts out, you can heal its pain and break free of relationship-destroying patterns. But only when you can understand it, can you really heal its fury and live a happy life. Inner child healing starts with you. Furthermore, those who are just ‘unlucky in love,’ or can’t meet the right partner, might come to see a pattern from childhood to adult relationships. Let’s explore all of this together.
Defining the Inner Child
According to psychology pioneer Carl Jung, the inner child represents our instincts, vulnerabilities, feelings, and unmet needs from childhood. John Bradshaw, an expert in the inner child and author of Homecoming, further defines it as “the accumulation of all unmet childhood needs and wants that make up the childhood energies still expressing themselves in our adult lives.” John Bradshaw was an advocate for reparenting our inner child.
This inner child dwells in the subconscious mind, influencing behaviors independent of adult awareness. Our reactions to romantic partners frequently reflect the inner child’s projections. To be clear, the subconscious mind is like a vast memory bank holding all of our past traumas, experiences, and feelings from our inner child. During times of stress or triggers, the subconscious mind, or inner child, lashes out in very unexpected ways that are often unexplainable.
Inner Child Dynamics
The inner child dynamics are not complicated. From birth to 7 years old is a crucial time a child has to get their needs met, and if they don't, they grow up to be needy adults.
How we learned to love from birth to seven years old in our family of origin will determine our subconscious imprint that gets embedded in our brain. These imprints will determine who we connect with as a partner. When we get into adulthood, we attract those people who fulfill our innermost subconscious needs. This imprint from childhood is what we subconsciously navigate with when seeking out a partner in life. This is why it’s important to understand that we attract what we are resonating with. Additionally, this is the reason why most people marry a clone of their mother or father! It’s another way to get our childhood needs met with a partner that resembles our parents.
Recognizing Inner Child Havoc
Some signs your inner child is sabotaging your relationships include the following: These are all reactions to triggers, which would be a stimulus that elicits a reaction stemming from a negative childhood experience.
Severe jealousy about harmless interactions
Constant need for validation and reassurance
Major mood swings or emotional sensitivity
Fear of enmeshment or losing yourself
Panic when feeling alone or abandoned
Difficulty with true intimacy and vulnerability
Inability to keep a healthy relationship
Extreme anger issues or fears
John Bradshaw explains: “The wounded inner child inside many people can destroy loving relationships. Your childhood wounds affect your relationships.” These wounds stem from the inner child’s neediness. To reiterate, this is due to not getting your fundamental needs met as a child, from infant to 7 years old. It is a good idea to explore this time in your life and what transpired. The patterns in our family of origin are usually what we bring into our relationships, friendships, and work environment.
Healing your inner child
To stop destructive inner child responses, self-awareness of the triggers through mindful observations of your emotions and reactions is key. The first step is to be aware of the problem and not ignore it. Then intentionally reframe your self-talk. It’s hard to do this in the heat of the moment, but reflecting back on the conflict you had with your partner is key to awareness because you can look at it during a calm time and adjust your actions in the future.
As an example, if abandonment wounds cause you to interpret your partner’s business trip as intentional neglect, remind yourself, “This is my inner child projecting past fears of abandonment. My partner loves me and is coming back.” Recognizing a pattern from childhood that correlates with the adult situation is the first step to healing.
For instance, if your father was working all the time when you were a child, you may have developed fears of abandonment, so your partner going on a business trip could trigger these painful feelings from childhood. Remember, all of your traumas and experiences are locked away in your subconscious mind and will get triggered when stressful events happen that jolt those inner child feelings. When you identify a pattern, you can go back to the time of the trauma from childhood and comfort and love your inner child in a meditation. John Bradshaw boldly suggests we go back to your childhood home, visualize your inner child in pain, and comfort him or her. It is the most loving thing you can do for yourself.
If you are dating and can’t meet a compatible partner, it’s really time to look at the patterns from childhood, how you learned to love, and how that correlates with your adult relationships. The answers lie with the inner child dilemma.
Self-love
Self-love is crucial to having a healthy inner child. Cultivating secure relationships also involves reprogramming core relationship beliefs in your subconscious mind—for example, that you are worthy and loveable. Visualization, affirmations, and therapy can help instill self-reliance, regardless of your partner’s proximity or validation. It all starts with a firm, loving foundation in your relationship with yourself. Healing the inner child is crucial, and so is this inner child work. You have to be the one who is strong in your own skin, and it’s important to develop a good-loving, secure relationship with yourself. You can do this with daily affirmations and visuals of being strong alone, so when you are alone, your subconscious will draw on the visualization. Just visualize a positive feeling of safety and love.
Positive Affirmations
Positive affirmations are a good start to changing the negative subconscious into a positive one.
I am happy.
I am loved.
I am strong.
I am secure in my own skin.
I am at peace.
I am a child of God.
The more compassion, understanding, love, and stability you extend to your inner child directly, the less it will act up unconsciously in your relationships.
In closing, the inner child is a multifaceted issue and really does demand your attention. It is important to explore your inner child, who is very real and a big part of your life, and try to see the patterns of self-sabotage when they happen. It will help your relationship become happier. Remember, awareness is the key to overcoming any obstacles in life. Having a loving relationship with yourself is the single most important thing you can do to heal your inner child.
Rachel Devine’s new book, Discover the Power of the Secret Within: Healing Your Inner Child to Manifest Your Dreams, is on Amazon now.
Devine Intervention: Inner Healing Center
Wake Up Call! It’s Time to Awaken the Real YOU!
We go from one day to the next in the same mundane routine, with no room for fun or happiness. Days become years, and years become decades, and one might look back and see opportunities that were squandered. What do you have on the back burner of your life that you want to do? What is waiting in the wings that can bring you joy and happiness? And the big question is, what is stopping you from living a life of fulfillment and joy? It’s time for a wake-up call and to discover the real you! It’s time to see an aspect of your life you may not be aware of. Let me clarify what I mean and look at some positive thoughts and manifesting methods that can transform your life!
From time to time I think we can all use a wake-up call. Especially when life becomes dull and meaningless. Some of us go from one day to the next in the same mundane routine, with no room for fun or happiness. Days become years, and years become decades, and one might look back and see opportunities that were squandered. What do you have on the back burner of your life that you want to do? What is waiting in the wings that can bring you joy and happiness? And the big question is, what is stopping you from living a life of fulfillment and joy? It’s time for a wake-up call and to discover the real you! It’s time to see an aspect of your life you may not be aware of. Let me clarify what I mean in this article and look at some positive thoughts and manifesting methods that can transform your life! Let’s awaken the real you to reality.
The real you
It might sound crazy, but there is a dual power within that drives your life. You may think that you have full control of your life, but the stark reality is that there is something within that is driving your life in a direction that you might not want to go in. That dual inner power is your subconscious mind and inner child. All of your past experiences, traumas, and feelings are locked away in your subconscious mind. Think about this for a moment. To be clear, you can’t consciously access this part of your brain unless you do some subcortical brain work. However, your life is ruled by your subconscious mind 95% of the time! That’s right, all of your decisions and day-to-day routine are directed by your subconscious mind. This is a fact. So the question is, how do you wake up that part of yourself to steer it in the direction you want your life to go? The next question is: how much trauma and bad experiences have you had in the past that are driving your life today? To make it more complicated, the inner child is part of this whole subconscious dilemma.
Example
In order to be more clear about this, let’s look at these examples:
I will never forget this incident, that is an example of fears of abandonment from childhood that are embedded in the subconscious mind. I was walking my dog, Luke, at the time, and there was a white SUV stopped at the corner for the stop sign. The window was open, and I could hear this man screaming at someone on the phone, saying:
“You are never home; we don’t eat together anymore; you don’t cook; you are such a witch” (although he used the b word), and he was berating her.
I am sure that the more he yelled and became angry, the more she retreated and wanted to stay away from him. It was a vicious circle. And I thought to myself, All he wants to say to her is that he is lonely, feels abandoned, and would like to spend more time with her. But I suspect his inner child, feeling hurt and being triggered by her pulling away, is setting off his fear of abandonment issues from his childhood, so he is lashing out with intense anger, reverting to the way he behaved as a child. He was trying to get his needs met, and she was pulling away, so his anger got out of control. The fear of abandonment starts with fear and morphs into intense anger.
Another example is road rage. As you are driving along, perhaps someone dangerously cuts you off, and you go from fear to rage in an instant. The rage is intense and comes out of left field. What is happening at this point is that your inner child is reverting to a time of feeling fear and is triggered by the danger it feels when the car cuts you off. The inner child in turn is erupting with rage. This rage is what is within you that is lashing out in times of danger.
Subconscious work
The subconscious mind is typically embedded with fears, anger, and neediness from the past. There are several ways to do some work on reprogramming the subconscious mind to become a positive state of being. One way is called brainspotting. Brainspotting is a technique done by a professional therapist that is able to clear away parts of trauma from the past so it does not affect your life today, as I just outlined. This is especially helpful for those with PTSD. However, not everyone wants to go through a therapist to clear the channels.
You could also get a life-coach to help you reprogram the subconscious mind. This is a very good option.
Another way would be to offset the negative subconscious thoughts with positive ones. There are several ways to do this that I will outline in the next section.
Positive tools
Visualization and affirmations are a couple of ways to reprogram the subconscious mind. As you are falling asleep, you are going from a conscious to a subconscious to an unconscious sleep state. Many experts agree that this unconscious sleep state is where we can reprogram the subconscious mind. Let’s say you want to get rid of anger from your subconscious mind. You do that by offsetting it with kindness, love and peace.
Here are the steps:
Fall asleep with one image. If you want to be less angry, put an image in your head of you being kind, peaceful, and loving. Love is a strong emotion that offsets many negative ones. You want to keep one image in your mind of you in a loving state as you drift off to sleep.
The feelings are what changes the subconscious mind from anger to love. Let me repeat that. The feelings are what changes the subconscious mind. So you want to resonate with loving, kind feelings as you fall asleep, because these feelings will resonate in your unconscious mind for 8 hours. This is a powerful time for changing the subconscious.
You want to do this at least for 30 days. You will find that the next day you will feel more loving and wake up quite happy after feeding your subconscious with loving thoughts for 8 hours.
Remember, your subconscious mind drives your life 95% of the time, so it makes sense to always feed it positive rather than negative thoughts and feelings.
Manifesting your goals
Manifesting your goals is another aspect of using positive visualizations and feelings to reprogram the subconscious mind. Let’s go one step further with this, and let’s say you want to connect with your soulmate. You would fall asleep with one image of having met your soulmate. You fall asleep with the feelings of how it would feel to be in a relationship with your soulmate. You would feel loved, secure, elated and happy. You want to resonate with these feelings as you drift off to sleep. Again, you would do this for 30 days and see how that works for connecting with your soulmate in your awakened world.
Say you want to lose weight or end an addiction. You can use the same technique as described above for this or anything else you want to manifest in your world. Remember, your subconscious mind drives your life 95% of the time. Feeding it future goals and dreams is a smart way to bring these dreams into your waking world.
In closing, it is important to wake up and recognize the part of you that drives your life most of the time. The real you is buried in many aspects of your past. You want to live your best life, and in order to do that, it is important to get rid of the baggage from the past of resentments, anger, fears, and neediness. There are many layers of negativity from the past that can be cleared away one thought, one feeling, and one day at a time and get you to a point of living your best life.
Rachel Devine is the author of The Third Road and Lessons from the Needle in a Haystack, both on Amazon. My new book on the inner child and the subconscious mind will be out very soon.
Devine Intervention: Inner Healing Center website
Taming the Terror of the Inner Child: Embracing Peace with your Past - Rachel Devine
We all have a wounded inner child from past experiences. Some of us have a higher degree of inner child wounds than others. The wounded inner child, carrying unresolved hurts and fears from the past, can wreak havoc through self-sabotage, anxiety, fears, rage, or addiction in your current world. It can literally be a terrifying experience to encounter the rage of the inner child. There can be unexplained tantrums that happen because of past experiences that erupt out of nowhere. Your decisions in life can be thwarted by your inner child's fears that you are totally unaware of. You might have an addiction that you can’t break as well. However, making peace with this hurt inner part of yourself brings harmony. With love and understanding, the inner child’s tantrums can give way to tranquility.
We all have a wounded inner child from past experiences. Some of us have a higher degree of inner child wounds than others. The wounded inner child, carrying unresolved hurts and fears from the past, can wreak havoc through self-sabotage, anxiety, fears, rage, or addiction in your current world. It can literally be a terrifying experience to encounter the rage of the inner child. There can be unexplained tantrums that happen because of past experiences that erupt out of nowhere. Your decisions in life can be thwarted by your inner child's fears that you are totally unaware of. You might have an addiction that you can’t break as well. However, making peace with this hurt inner part of yourself brings harmony. With love and understanding, the inner child’s tantrums can give way to tranquility and your life will be happy again.
The Wounded Inner Child
According to psychologist and bestselling author John Bradshaw, “We have the need to be respected and understood by our inner children, who still exert a tremendous influence on our everyday lives.” That inner child lives within all of us. When the inner child feels threatened or invalidated, it lashes out in unconscious ways rooted in old defenses or trauma responses in the present day moment. It wreaks havoc with relationships and family and can cause trouble in your work environment.
For example, the inner child may manifest in the present as excessive people-pleasing due to past neglect or doing good deeds to get attention. The inner child pain from the past can be overwhelming and one might numb their emotions through overeating, alcohol, or drugs. These maladaptive patterns provide short-term relief but long-term suffering. There is always this feeling that there is a gaping hole within, and it needs to be fed with drugs, alcohol, people, food, work, or some other way to numb the pain and fill the void. It’s a vicious cycle.
Bradshaw advises, “We must listen to our inner child to find our personal truth.” Only through compassionate inner dialog can you integrate these fragmented parts back into the whole.
Inner Child Healing Meditation
It takes courage to face wounded parts of yourself, but the rewards of inner peace await. Strategies like journaling, talk therapy, and visualization can help reconcile with the inner child. Meditations are also helpful. John Bradshaw boldy suggest going back into your childhood home and sitting with your inner child as a way to be the loving parent of the child. You can recognize a particular time in your childhood where there was trauma and go back in your mind to reparent and love your inner child, offering support and healing. This meditation will work wonders in your present world and bring you some peace. However, it’s like peeling an onion; there are layers of pain from the past that need healing. This inner child work is crucial. The more meditations you do, the more healing will occur.
Have patience, speak reassuringly, and let the inner child be heard. Help reframe old fears and beliefs that no longer serve your adult growth. The goal is not to banish but to integrate the inner child with compassion into your present-day life.
Love your Inner Child
Love can move mountains and heal the most advanced case of inner child dilemma. Love is the answer. Loving yourself is loving your inner child. We need more love in the world, but we also need more love in our own world. Sitting and nurturing your inner child is the most loving thing you can do. Encourage self-care in your life. You probably do a lot of wonderful things for others; do those things for yourself. The most important relationship you will ever have is with yourself. I suggest you get a picture of yourself as a child, put it where you can see it daily, and tell that child how much you are loved.
Mindfulness
It’s important to see the patterns from childhood that affect your life as an adult. Being mindful of what is happening in your life is crucial. Staying in the moment and really seeing what is happening is important, rather than just getting wrapped up in your daily routine without any contemplation. If you have an outburst or can’t lose weight or stop an addiction, it’s time to shine a light to focus on the origin of the problem. It’s important to see the correlation from childhood and present day issues. When you do connect with that little child, you can open up a whole new world of healing. At times, I can actually feel my inner child raging. Those are the times I need to listen very carefully to because something from my past is coming into my present day to get my attention. The key is to listen to it and then act upon it, with the aforementioned meditations, in calming the inner child through loving reparenting techniques.
Inner child therapy
If you have intense anger issues, fears from the past, or addictions, it is a good idea to see a therapist that specializes in the inner child. Opening up the pandora’s box of inner child trauma can be overwhelming. A good therapist is crucial to inner healing. There are many techniques that help clear the brain of past trauma. One very successful tool is brainspotting. It helps bring out the trauma from the subcortical brain to release it. Once the trauma is released it will not have an adverse influence on you anymore.
In conclusion, you possess everything you need to create internal ceasefires. With care and wisdom, you can guide the inner child to trust life again. With the right therapist, and inner child work, healing is possible. Meet this sacred part of yourself with empathy. Connect with your inner child and be the emotionally supportive parent you may never have had. Your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you will ever have. You have the power to set the stage for profound healing. Once the healing begins, peace will reign in your adult world and you will be free from the terror of the inner child.
Rachel Devine is the author of, The Third Road & Lessons from the Needle in a Haystack, both on Amazon. My new book on the inner child will be out very soon, called Discover the Power of the Secret Within.
Devine Intervention: Inner Healing Center website.