Take the Inner Child Quiz - Rachel Devine
Taking an inner child quiz can be the first step towards identifying and healing emotional wounds from your past. Studies show that a surprising number of adults experience the lingering effects of childhood trauma and stress. Unresolved issues from our early years often manifest in adulthood through struggles like addiction, anxiety, depression, and relationship conflicts. However, most people do not correlate inner child wounds with present day issues like depression and addictions. Furthermore, most people don’t even believe in the inner child factor. This is unfortunate because so much clarity and healing can be revealed with some foreknowledge. Let’s look at this in a comprehensive manner before embarking on an inner child quiz.
Taking an inner child quiz can be the first step towards identifying and healing emotional wounds from your past. Studies show that a surprising number of adults experience the lingering effects of childhood trauma and stress. Unresolved issues from our early years often manifest in adulthood through struggles like addiction, anxiety, depression, and relationship conflicts. However, most people do not correlate inner child wounds with present day issues like depression and addictions. Furthermore, most people don’t even believe in the inner child factor. This is unfortunate because so much clarity and healing can be revealed with some foreknowledge. Let’s look at this in a comprehensive manner before embarking on an inner child quiz.
Finding the source of dysfunction
Addictions, anger issues, chronic fears, anger issues, and other adult dysfunctions frequently arise from childhood emotional wounds around topics like self-worth, security, and emotional needs not being met. Tracing back to the origins provides clarity and focus for unraveling these patterns. It sheds light on the actual patterns from childhood, helping one understand the root cause of their adult issues.
Statistics on Inner Child Wounds
Studies show 60% of adults of adults report experiencing abuse or other difficult family circumstances during
childhood. 26% of children will witness or experience a traumatic event before they turn four. About one-quarter of adults experience three or more adverse childhood experiences that can lead to emotional trauma.
A 2019 Harris poll found that 64% of American adults have inner child wounds that affect their happiness. The most common wound stemmed from emotional neglect, reported by 19% of adults.
These are just a few fascinating statistics on inner child wounds and their impact on adulthood can be more devastating than the original infraction!
Why Our Inner Child Impacts Our Adult Selves
Unmet childhood needs like connection, safety, validation, trust, and love often are the culprit behind our inner child wounds and resurface through some of the following issues:
● Addictive behaviors like alcoholism, drug abuse, gambling, and unhealthy attachments that fill a void or numb painful feelings from childhood on a subconscious level.
● Anxiety and depression result from core feelings of not being good enough, blaming oneself, and struggling with vulnerability.
● Anger issues are tied to growing up feeling unimportant, criticized, threatened, bullied, or powerless.
● Relationship problems due to difficulties with trust, communication, empathy, and respect—all learned in childhood.
These are just some dysfunctions that branch out of our early childhood. Identifying and nurturing your inner child’s unresolved wounds through self-discovery, counseling, therapy or support groups can help you form healthier, happier relationships and break detrimental, repeated cycles traced back to the past. The key to healing the inner child wounds is to recognize the patterns from childhood. The only way to recognize these patterns is to do the inner child work. The benefits of a potential healthy life without addiction or depression is far worth the work invested in your inner child healing. However, it all starts with awareness.
Benefits of Taking an Inner Child Quiz
Awareness happens with a little effort. If you take an inner child quiz you will have increased self-awareness. Understanding your inner child can help you recognize recurring destructive patterns that originated in childhood. An inner child quiz strips away rationalizations and makes you tune into core emotional triggers. It can also help you by pointing out your emotional wounds. Quizzes help uncover specific childhood events or dynamics that shaped your coping mechanisms and beliefs about yourself and the world. Identifying these root causes paves the way for healing. Living in an oblivious state and not understanding why certain core issues are coming from is unfortunate.
In closing, the key to happiness in life is to be aware of the origin of our present day issues. In understanding the patterns from childhood, one is empowered to heal from inner child wounds. The first step to any healing is becoming aware of the problem that needs to be healed. An inner child quiz is the first step to healing.
Take the inner child quiz here.
Rachel Devine is the author of a new inner child book called, Discover the Power of the Secret Within - Healing your Inner Child to Manifest your Dreams. This book is available now on Amazon.
Amazon review: The book really got deep on how our subconscious mind works and how important it is to not fall into the negativities and train yourself to think positive always . I really enjoyed it and it was very inspirational and really broadened my knowledge of how our minds work . I really recommend it ! Tina
Devine Intervention - Inner Healing Center.
If you have any questions, please contact Rachel Devine.
Inner Child Therapy Techniques for Healing Rachel Devine
Inner child therapy is a form of psychotherapy that aims to heal the wounds and trauma experienced in childhood. It is based on the belief that everyone has an "inner child" within them that stores all the emotions, fears, beliefs, and memories from childhood. Addressing and healing the inner child can lead to profound changes in one's emotional wellbeing and ability to have healthy relationships. Research has shown that inner child pain is lodged in the body in a physical and emotional way. It makes sense, at a certain point, to address the pain and release it from the body.
Let’s explore different therapies for inner child wounds.
Inner child therapy is a form of psychotherapy that aims to heal the wounds and trauma experienced in childhood. It is based on the belief that everyone has an "inner child" within them that stores all the emotions, fears, beliefs, and memories from childhood. Addressing and healing the inner child can lead to profound changes in one's emotional wellbeing and ability to have healthy relationships. Research has shown that inner child pain is lodged in the body in a physical and emotional way. It makes sense, at a certain point, to address the pain and release it from the body.
Let’s explore different therapies for inner child wounds.
Inner child therapy techniques
Inner child therapy uses a range of techniques to access memories, feelings, and beliefs stored in the inner child. These include guided visualization, journaling, drawing, role-playing, and dialogues between one's adult self and inner child self.
The therapist helps the client tune into repressed or suppressed emotions from childhood and express them in a safe, contained way. This allows the client to address core childhood wounds such as neglect, abuse, loss, criticism, and worthlessness that may still be negatively impacting them today. Expressing the feelings and needs of the inner child that were not met in childhood is profoundly cathartic. Many addictions stem from the inner child void within, that gets addictively filled with either food, alcohol, drugs, working long hours, etc. Inner child therapy is imperative to get to the root of the problem and bring it out into the open where it can lose its hold on you.
The therapist then helps the client nurture and care for the inner child through love, validation, understanding, and reassurance. This helps re-parent and heal the inner child of old shame, fears, or distorted beliefs. Clients discover how to meet their inner child's unmet needs from within themselves. They learn to cultivate self-love, self-acceptance, and healthy boundaries.
Brainspotting
Brainspotting is an experienced technique that brings past emotions and trauma from the subconscious mind to the surface and then it releases the trauma from the body. This is a very effective technique for inner child healing. Additionally, it takes very little time to clear out destructive childhood thoughts that get embedded in the subconscious mind. You can learn more about brainspotting on this link.
Effectiveness of Inner Child Therapy
Research shows that inner child therapy can lead to significant reductions in anxiety, depression, interpersonal difficulties, and insecure attachment. Clients report increased self-esteem, self-compassion, emotional resilience, and the ability to have intimate relationships after inner child healing.
Inner child therapy allows people to rewrite limiting beliefs, detach from the pain of the past, and develop a strong, self-centered sense of self. Transformational personal growth can occur as people peel away layers of protective armor built around the wounded inner child. It is possible to transform your life.
Finding an Inner Child Therapist
It is important to find an inner child therapist who utilizes a holistic, gentle approach. Look for those trained in attachment theory, brainspotting, gestalt therapy, or psychedelic integration. Avoid therapies that force clients to relive trauma in an abrupt manner without adequate support.
Group therapy with other inner child healing clients can provide additional support. However, one-on-one therapy forms the core foundation for safely uncovering deep wounds before group sharing. Research different options and read client testimonials to find the right fit.
The inner child lives within all of us, waiting to be healed. Inner child therapy facilitates this profound healing, allowing people to live with much greater freedom, joy, and authenticity. It takes courage to face your inner wounds, but it can lead to incredible self-awareness and personal transformation.
Rachel Devine is the author of a new inner child book called, Discover the Power of the Secret Within - Healing your Inner Child to Manifest your Dreams. This book is available now on Amazon.
Devine Intervention - Inner Healing Center.
If you have any questions, please contact Rachel Devine.
Ways to Recognize when your Inner Child Sabotages your Relationships-Rachel Devine
The wounded inner child, carrying baggage from past hurts or abandonments, often undermines romantic partnerships unconsciously. This is a very scary notion that there are aspects of each and every one of us that we are not aware of. By understanding your inner child’s dynamics and the way it acts out, you can heal its pain and break free of relationship-destroying patterns. But only when you can understand it, can you really heal its fury and live a happy life. Inner child healing starts with you.
The wounded inner child, carrying baggage from past hurts or abandonments, often undermines romantic relationships unconsciously. This is a very scary notion that there are aspects of each and every one of us that we are not aware of, which can destroy a relationship. By understanding your inner child’s dynamics and the way it acts out, you can heal its pain and break free of relationship-destroying patterns. But only when you can understand it, can you really heal its fury and live a happy life. Inner child healing starts with you. And make no mistake about it, we all have an inner child that causes havoc from time to time. Furthermore, those who are just ‘unlucky in love,’ might see a pattern from childhood to adult relationships that explains this dilemma. If you are dating and meeting the same type of dysfunctional person, with a different face, it’s time to look at the inner child. Awareness is the key to solving any issue. Let’s explore all of this together.
Defining the Inner Child
According to psychology pioneer Carl Jung, the inner child represents our instincts, vulnerabilities, feelings, and unmet needs from childhood. John Bradshaw, an expert in the inner child and author of Homecoming, further defines it as “the accumulation of all unmet childhood needs and wants that make up the childhood energies still expressing themselves in our adult lives.” John Bradshaw was an advocate for reparenting our inner child.
This inner child dwells in the subconscious mind, influencing behaviors independent of adult awareness. Our reactions to romantic partners frequently reflect the inner child’s projections. To be clear, the subconscious mind is like a vast memory bank holding all of our past traumas, experiences, and feelings from our inner child. During times of stress or triggers, the subconscious mind or inner child lashes out in very unexpected ways that are often unexplainable.
Inner Child Dynamics
The inner child dynamics are not complicated. There are 4 stages of infancy development. Let’s look at these stages:
The first stage is the infancy stage. This is the co-dependent stage from 0 to 2 years old, where we are completely dependent on our parents for survival. This is the stage where we need a lot of care, nurturing, and love. It’s a time in our lives when we depend solely on our parents for survival.
The preschool age from 2 to 4 years old is the stage of counter-dependence. This stage is often referred to as “the terrible twos.” This is a time when the child wants and needs to assert their ability to interact with their environment. The child is gaining his or her autonomy through co-dependence.
From 4 to 7 years old, there is the independence stage. At this time, a child is becoming independent and doesn’t need his or her parents to do everything, and the child becomes more independent of them.
At seven years old, the child is at an inter-dependence stage of being, which is much more independent from their parents than previous years, and pretty much can do most things for themselves.
All these developmental stages are a crucial time in a child’s life, and if a child does not get their fundamental needs met, there will be issues that develop later on in adulthood.
How we learned to love from birth to seven years old in our family of origin will determine our subconscious imprint that gets embedded in our brain. These imprints will determine who we connect with as a partner. When we get into adulthood, we attract those people who fulfill our innermost subconscious needs. This imprint from childhood is what we subconsciously navigate with when seeking out a partner in life. This is why it’s important to understand that we attract what we are resonating with. Additionally, this is the reason why most people marry a clone of their mother or father!
Recognizing Inner Child Havoc
Some signs your inner child is sabotaging your relationships include the following. These are all reactions to triggers, which would be a stimulus that elicits a reaction stemming from a negative childhood experience.
Extreme defensiveness or mistrust of your partner’s intentions
Severe jealousy about harmless interactions
Constant need for validation and reassurance
Major mood swings or emotional sensitivity
Fear of enmeshment or losing yourself
Panic when feeling alone or abandoned
Difficulty with true intimacy and vulnerability
Inability to keep a healthy relationship
Extreme anger issues or fears
John Bradshaw explains: “The wounded inner child inside many people can destroy loving relationships. Your childhood wounds affect your relationships.” These wounds stem from the inner child’s neediness. This is due to not getting your fundamental needs met as a child, from infant to 7 years old. It is a good idea to explore this time in your life and what transpired. The patterns in our family of origin are usually what we bring into our relationships, friendships and work environment.
Healing your inner child
To short-circuit destructive inner child responses, self-awareness of the triggers through mindful observations of your emotions and reactions is key. The first step is to be aware of the problem and not ignore it. Then intentionally reframe your self-talk. It’s hard to do this in the heat of the moment, but reflecting back on the conflict you had with your partner is key to awareness because you can look at it during a calm time and adjust your actions in the future.
As an example, if abandonment wounds cause you to interpret your partner’s business trip as intentional neglect, remind yourself, “This is my inner child projecting past fears of abandonment. My partner loves me and is coming back.” Recognizing a pattern from childhood that correlates with the adult situation is the first step to healing.
For instance, if your father was working all the time when you were a child, you may have developed fears of abandonment, so your partner going on a business trip could trigger these painful feelings from childhood. Remember, all of your traumas and experiences are locked away in your subconscious mind and will get triggered when stressful events happen that jolt those inner child feelings. When you identify a pattern, you can go back to the time of the trauma from childhood and comfort and love your inner child in a meditation. John Bradshaw boldly suggests we go back to your childhood home and visualize your inner child in pain and comfort him or her. It is the most loving thing you can do for yourself.
Self-love
Self-love is crucial to having a healthy inner child. Cultivating secure relationships also involves reprogramming core relationship beliefs in your subconscious mind—for example, that you are worthy and loveable. Visualization, affirmations, and therapy can help instill self-reliance, regardless of your partner’s proximity or validation. It all starts with a firm, loving foundation in your relationship with yourself. Healing the inner child is crucial, and so is this inner child work. You have to be the one who is strong in your own skin, and it’s important to develop a good-loving, secure relationship with yourself. You can do this with daily affirmations and visuals of being strong alone, so when you are alone, your subconscious will draw on the visualization. I used to do a meditation where I would sit on my higher power’s lap as a child. In my case, I proudly call my higher power God. In this meditation, God would instill in me that I am worthy and loved, and I can never be abandoned because His spirit dwells within me. Of course, you have to use the higher power of your choice. Just imagine your higher power telling you how valued and loved you are, and give you assurance that you can never be abandoned.
Positive Affirmations
These positive affirmations are a good start to changing the negative subconscious to a positive one:
I am happy.
I am loved.
I am strong.
I am secure in my own skin.
I am at peace.
I am a child of God.
The more compassion, understanding, love, and stability you extend to your inner child directly, the less it will act up unconsciously in your relationships. It is like reparenting yourself with much love. You deserve that peace and stability. Using positive affirmations daily is a good start.
In closing, the inner child is a multifaceted issue and really does demand your attention. It is important to explore your inner child, who is very real and a very big part of your life, and try to see the patterns of self-sabotage when they happen. It will help your relationship become happier. Remember, awareness is the key to overcoming any obstacles in life. Having a loving relationship with yourself is the single most important thing you can do to heal the inner child.
Rachel Devine’s new book, Discover the Power of the Secret within - Healing your Inner Child to Manifest your Dreams, is on Amazon now.
How to Heal your Inner Child: 7 Step Guide Rachel Devine
The inner child, carrying emotional scars and false beliefs from childhood, drives many of our adult behaviors unconsciously. By learning to identify, listen to, and re-parent your inner child, you can heal past wounds for greater well-being. Make no mistake about it; I truly believe we all have inner child wounds that erupt during stressful, angry times in our lives. No one is immune from the terror of the inner child. The astonishing fact is that most of us are totally oblivious to the pandora’s box of horrors that resides within each and every one of us. Of course, there are different degrees of inner child fury; som
The inner child, carrying emotional scars and false beliefs from childhood, drives many of our adult behaviors unconsciously. By learning to identify, listen to, and re-parent your inner child, you can heal past wounds for greater well-being. Make no mistake about it; I truly believe we all have inner child wounds that erupt during stressful, angry times in our lives. No one is immune from the terror of the inner child. The astonishing fact is that most of us are totally oblivious to the pandora’s box of horrors that resides within each and every one of us. Of course, there are different degrees of inner child fury; some are more intense than others. Let’s explore this inner child healing in more detail.
Dynamics of the Inner Child
The dynamics of our inner world are pretty intense. However, as I open up the nucleus of the inner child, you will see how easy it really is to comprehend.
What transpired in our childhood determines how we develop as adults. Some of the things that transpired in childhood will plague you as an adult with things like alcoholism, drug or food addictions, anger issues, intimacy issues, fear of abandonment, commitment issues, sexual disorders, continuous relationship failures, narcissism, fears, etc. These issues get embedded in the inner child’s psyche and carry into adulthood. This all stems from the roots that took place with the inner child and what went on in your early childhood.
So, what does it mean when I refer to the “inner child"?
The inner child is our feelings, energies, needs, vulnerabilities, experiences, and neurological imprint on our subconscious. Simply put, the inner child is part of your personality that still feels and acts like a child.
Impact of the Inner Child
“I believe that this neglected, wounded inner child of the past is the major source of human misery." John Bradshaw
John Bradshaw was a brilliant author of the inner child and extremely popular back in the 90s with his incredible book, Home Coming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child.
John knew the dynamics of the inner child because he lived it in his own childhood. The impact of the inner child is a lifetime battle, and it takes some work to get past the dysfunction. The impact can be devastating in love relationships, careers, family interactions, etc. The impact of the inner child can also become intense with adult addictions. Most of us have a void within that was not filled in childhood with love, nurturing, and security. Some of us try to fill that void with food, alcohol, drugs, etc. Some also try to numb the pain of past trauma with an addiction. This is something to be aware of in order to heal.The inner child can also cause havoc in relationships and family life. Sometimes stress can trigger events from the past of anger and fear, and a normal argument can turn into a bloody war because the inner child's pain from the past is erupting in the present.
Connecting to the Inner Child
According to psychology expert John Bradshaw, “The inner child must be welcomed, embraced, for better or for worse.” Begin communicating through journaling, recording dialogues, or meditations. Let your inner child express its pains and needs to you. The first step to healing is awareness. Become aware of this inner child that is longing for reparenting.
Bradshaw advised: “Do your best to provide the child within you what your parents couldn’t provide.” Offer soothing words, forgiveness, encouragement, and unconditional support to your inner child when it shares its hurt. Visualize cradling and nurturing your inner child.
You can also meditate on being with your inner child. John Bradshaw boldly asks us to go back to our childhood home. You can do that in a meditation and embrace your inner child with love and comfort.
Inner child therapy
Therapy is the key to healing the inner child. Brainspotting is a technique that helps clear the subcortical brain, where the trauma or past experiences live, so healing can begin. There are lawyers of embedded past experiences in the subcortical brain that is part of the subconscious mind. Therapy is a way to clear this one layer at a time. Therapy can also give you a place to talk about your inner child and be in the presence of a professional therapist who can guide you in the right direction of healing.
Subconscious mind
The subconscious mind holds all our past experiences, traumas, and feelings. We are not conscious of what is going on there, but this is where the inner child's feelings live. This is the trigger point during stressful times that unleashes the inner child fury. There are other ways to clear some negative experiences from the past and also fill the void within. The more you can clear your subconscious of past hurts, negativity, anger, and fears, the more your life will move in a positive direction. Feeding your subconscious positive affirmations also helps.
Clearing the subconscious
One way to help clear some negativity from the subconscious is through positive affirmations. Saying them often will offset the negativity from the past. Just say some positive affirmations over and over again in your day. A few examples are that I am loved, I am successful, I am beautiful, or I am happy. Visualization is another way to impact the subconscious, and the most powerful time is at bedtime because you are going from a subconscious to an unconscious state, which is powerful for penetrating the subconscious. Visualize one image of what you want to heal in your subconscious. Let’s say you are addicted to food or alcohol. You would put one image in your head of being free from alcohol, or if you want to lose weight, an image of you being slim and healthy. Fall asleep with the feeling of well-being and feeling healthy, happy, and loved. This visualization will leave positive imprints on your subconscious mind. Do this for at least 30 days and see if you feel better and stronger. You can do this with anger issues or fear. Just use the opposite positive emotion, see the image in your head, and fall asleep with positive thoughts. For instance if you want to get rid of anger, see yourself in an image of being calm, kind, loving, and peaceful. If you want to get rid of fears, see yourself feeling loved, courageous, in the loving arms of your higher power, whom I call God. Being in the presence of God will help you feel less fear, because love and fear cannot reside together and God is love.
Cultivate Self-Love
Lack of parental love creates inner emptiness. Now consciously shower yourself with self-love and positive affirmations. Build the unconditional self-love your inner child craves. Cultivating inner love for yourself is a very positive way to heal the inner child. Too often, we resonate with negative thoughts about ourselves that actually come from our childhood. Change those self-defeating thoughts to ones of love. Self-care is also crucial, so do good things for yourself daily, or at least a couple of times a week. I suggest you get a picture of yourself as a child and put that picture where you can see it and tell yourself every day, “I love you.”
John Bradshaw described inner child work as: “Learning to love yourself is the greatest gift you can give yourself.” Extending compassion and care inward dissolves old wounds, so your healthiest self can shine through.
In closing, remember that you have the power to change your inner world into one of joy. You have the power to regenerate yourself with nurturing, love, and compassion. If you start to do inner child work, you will see that your relationship with family and friends will improve. However, the most important relationship you will ever have is with yourself, and when that improves, your whole world becomes a better place to be.
Rachel Devine is the author of, The Third Road & Lessons from the Needle in a Haystack and has a new book coming out soon, Discover the Power of the Secret Within, that explores the inner child and subconscious mind for healing.
Ways to Recognize when your Inner Child Sabotages Your Relationships - Rachel Devine
The wounded inner child, carrying baggage from past hurts or abandonments, often undermines romantic partnerships unconsciously. This is a very scary notion that there are aspects of each and every one of us that we are not aware of. By understanding your inner child’s dynamics and the way it acts out, you can heal its pain and break free of relationship-destroying patterns. But only when you can understand it, can you really heal its fury and live a happy life. Inner child healing starts with you.
Our relationships are precious. The wounded inner child, carrying baggage from past hurts or abandonments, often undermines romantic partnerships unconsciously. This is a very scary notion that there are aspects of each and every one of us that we are not aware of. By understanding your inner child’s dynamics and the way it acts out, you can heal its pain and break free of relationship-destroying patterns. But only when you can understand it, can you really heal its fury and live a happy life. Inner child healing starts with you. Furthermore, those who are just ‘unlucky in love,’ or can’t meet the right partner, might come to see a pattern from childhood to adult relationships. Let’s explore all of this together.
Defining the Inner Child
According to psychology pioneer Carl Jung, the inner child represents our instincts, vulnerabilities, feelings, and unmet needs from childhood. John Bradshaw, an expert in the inner child and author of Homecoming, further defines it as “the accumulation of all unmet childhood needs and wants that make up the childhood energies still expressing themselves in our adult lives.” John Bradshaw was an advocate for reparenting our inner child.
This inner child dwells in the subconscious mind, influencing behaviors independent of adult awareness. Our reactions to romantic partners frequently reflect the inner child’s projections. To be clear, the subconscious mind is like a vast memory bank holding all of our past traumas, experiences, and feelings from our inner child. During times of stress or triggers, the subconscious mind, or inner child, lashes out in very unexpected ways that are often unexplainable.
Inner Child Dynamics
The inner child dynamics are not complicated. From birth to 7 years old is a crucial time a child has to get their needs met, and if they don't, they grow up to be needy adults.
How we learned to love from birth to seven years old in our family of origin will determine our subconscious imprint that gets embedded in our brain. These imprints will determine who we connect with as a partner. When we get into adulthood, we attract those people who fulfill our innermost subconscious needs. This imprint from childhood is what we subconsciously navigate with when seeking out a partner in life. This is why it’s important to understand that we attract what we are resonating with. Additionally, this is the reason why most people marry a clone of their mother or father! It’s another way to get our childhood needs met with a partner that resembles our parents.
Recognizing Inner Child Havoc
Some signs your inner child is sabotaging your relationships include the following: These are all reactions to triggers, which would be a stimulus that elicits a reaction stemming from a negative childhood experience.
Severe jealousy about harmless interactions
Constant need for validation and reassurance
Major mood swings or emotional sensitivity
Fear of enmeshment or losing yourself
Panic when feeling alone or abandoned
Difficulty with true intimacy and vulnerability
Inability to keep a healthy relationship
Extreme anger issues or fears
John Bradshaw explains: “The wounded inner child inside many people can destroy loving relationships. Your childhood wounds affect your relationships.” These wounds stem from the inner child’s neediness. To reiterate, this is due to not getting your fundamental needs met as a child, from infant to 7 years old. It is a good idea to explore this time in your life and what transpired. The patterns in our family of origin are usually what we bring into our relationships, friendships, and work environment.
Healing your inner child
To stop destructive inner child responses, self-awareness of the triggers through mindful observations of your emotions and reactions is key. The first step is to be aware of the problem and not ignore it. Then intentionally reframe your self-talk. It’s hard to do this in the heat of the moment, but reflecting back on the conflict you had with your partner is key to awareness because you can look at it during a calm time and adjust your actions in the future.
As an example, if abandonment wounds cause you to interpret your partner’s business trip as intentional neglect, remind yourself, “This is my inner child projecting past fears of abandonment. My partner loves me and is coming back.” Recognizing a pattern from childhood that correlates with the adult situation is the first step to healing.
For instance, if your father was working all the time when you were a child, you may have developed fears of abandonment, so your partner going on a business trip could trigger these painful feelings from childhood. Remember, all of your traumas and experiences are locked away in your subconscious mind and will get triggered when stressful events happen that jolt those inner child feelings. When you identify a pattern, you can go back to the time of the trauma from childhood and comfort and love your inner child in a meditation. John Bradshaw boldly suggests we go back to your childhood home, visualize your inner child in pain, and comfort him or her. It is the most loving thing you can do for yourself.
If you are dating and can’t meet a compatible partner, it’s really time to look at the patterns from childhood, how you learned to love, and how that correlates with your adult relationships. The answers lie with the inner child dilemma.
Self-love
Self-love is crucial to having a healthy inner child. Cultivating secure relationships also involves reprogramming core relationship beliefs in your subconscious mind—for example, that you are worthy and loveable. Visualization, affirmations, and therapy can help instill self-reliance, regardless of your partner’s proximity or validation. It all starts with a firm, loving foundation in your relationship with yourself. Healing the inner child is crucial, and so is this inner child work. You have to be the one who is strong in your own skin, and it’s important to develop a good-loving, secure relationship with yourself. You can do this with daily affirmations and visuals of being strong alone, so when you are alone, your subconscious will draw on the visualization. Just visualize a positive feeling of safety and love.
Positive Affirmations
Positive affirmations are a good start to changing the negative subconscious into a positive one.
I am happy.
I am loved.
I am strong.
I am secure in my own skin.
I am at peace.
I am a child of God.
The more compassion, understanding, love, and stability you extend to your inner child directly, the less it will act up unconsciously in your relationships.
In closing, the inner child is a multifaceted issue and really does demand your attention. It is important to explore your inner child, who is very real and a big part of your life, and try to see the patterns of self-sabotage when they happen. It will help your relationship become happier. Remember, awareness is the key to overcoming any obstacles in life. Having a loving relationship with yourself is the single most important thing you can do to heal your inner child.
Rachel Devine’s new book, Discover the Power of the Secret Within: Healing Your Inner Child to Manifest Your Dreams, is on Amazon now.
Devine Intervention: Inner Healing Center
Taming the Terror of the Inner Child: Embracing Peace with your Past - Rachel Devine
We all have a wounded inner child from past experiences. Some of us have a higher degree of inner child wounds than others. The wounded inner child, carrying unresolved hurts and fears from the past, can wreak havoc through self-sabotage, anxiety, fears, rage, or addiction in your current world. It can literally be a terrifying experience to encounter the rage of the inner child. There can be unexplained tantrums that happen because of past experiences that erupt out of nowhere. Your decisions in life can be thwarted by your inner child's fears that you are totally unaware of. You might have an addiction that you can’t break as well. However, making peace with this hurt inner part of yourself brings harmony. With love and understanding, the inner child’s tantrums can give way to tranquility.
We all have a wounded inner child from past experiences. Some of us have a higher degree of inner child wounds than others. The wounded inner child, carrying unresolved hurts and fears from the past, can wreak havoc through self-sabotage, anxiety, fears, rage, or addiction in your current world. It can literally be a terrifying experience to encounter the rage of the inner child. There can be unexplained tantrums that happen because of past experiences that erupt out of nowhere. Your decisions in life can be thwarted by your inner child's fears that you are totally unaware of. You might have an addiction that you can’t break as well. However, making peace with this hurt inner part of yourself brings harmony. With love and understanding, the inner child’s tantrums can give way to tranquility and your life will be happy again.
The Wounded Inner Child
According to psychologist and bestselling author John Bradshaw, “We have the need to be respected and understood by our inner children, who still exert a tremendous influence on our everyday lives.” That inner child lives within all of us. When the inner child feels threatened or invalidated, it lashes out in unconscious ways rooted in old defenses or trauma responses in the present day moment. It wreaks havoc with relationships and family and can cause trouble in your work environment.
For example, the inner child may manifest in the present as excessive people-pleasing due to past neglect or doing good deeds to get attention. The inner child pain from the past can be overwhelming and one might numb their emotions through overeating, alcohol, or drugs. These maladaptive patterns provide short-term relief but long-term suffering. There is always this feeling that there is a gaping hole within, and it needs to be fed with drugs, alcohol, people, food, work, or some other way to numb the pain and fill the void. It’s a vicious cycle.
Bradshaw advises, “We must listen to our inner child to find our personal truth.” Only through compassionate inner dialog can you integrate these fragmented parts back into the whole.
Inner Child Healing Meditation
It takes courage to face wounded parts of yourself, but the rewards of inner peace await. Strategies like journaling, talk therapy, and visualization can help reconcile with the inner child. Meditations are also helpful. John Bradshaw boldy suggest going back into your childhood home and sitting with your inner child as a way to be the loving parent of the child. You can recognize a particular time in your childhood where there was trauma and go back in your mind to reparent and love your inner child, offering support and healing. This meditation will work wonders in your present world and bring you some peace. However, it’s like peeling an onion; there are layers of pain from the past that need healing. This inner child work is crucial. The more meditations you do, the more healing will occur.
Have patience, speak reassuringly, and let the inner child be heard. Help reframe old fears and beliefs that no longer serve your adult growth. The goal is not to banish but to integrate the inner child with compassion into your present-day life.
Love your Inner Child
Love can move mountains and heal the most advanced case of inner child dilemma. Love is the answer. Loving yourself is loving your inner child. We need more love in the world, but we also need more love in our own world. Sitting and nurturing your inner child is the most loving thing you can do. Encourage self-care in your life. You probably do a lot of wonderful things for others; do those things for yourself. The most important relationship you will ever have is with yourself. I suggest you get a picture of yourself as a child, put it where you can see it daily, and tell that child how much you are loved.
Mindfulness
It’s important to see the patterns from childhood that affect your life as an adult. Being mindful of what is happening in your life is crucial. Staying in the moment and really seeing what is happening is important, rather than just getting wrapped up in your daily routine without any contemplation. If you have an outburst or can’t lose weight or stop an addiction, it’s time to shine a light to focus on the origin of the problem. It’s important to see the correlation from childhood and present day issues. When you do connect with that little child, you can open up a whole new world of healing. At times, I can actually feel my inner child raging. Those are the times I need to listen very carefully to because something from my past is coming into my present day to get my attention. The key is to listen to it and then act upon it, with the aforementioned meditations, in calming the inner child through loving reparenting techniques.
Inner child therapy
If you have intense anger issues, fears from the past, or addictions, it is a good idea to see a therapist that specializes in the inner child. Opening up the pandora’s box of inner child trauma can be overwhelming. A good therapist is crucial to inner healing. There are many techniques that help clear the brain of past trauma. One very successful tool is brainspotting. It helps bring out the trauma from the subcortical brain to release it. Once the trauma is released it will not have an adverse influence on you anymore.
In conclusion, you possess everything you need to create internal ceasefires. With care and wisdom, you can guide the inner child to trust life again. With the right therapist, and inner child work, healing is possible. Meet this sacred part of yourself with empathy. Connect with your inner child and be the emotionally supportive parent you may never have had. Your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you will ever have. You have the power to set the stage for profound healing. Once the healing begins, peace will reign in your adult world and you will be free from the terror of the inner child.
Rachel Devine is the author of, The Third Road & Lessons from the Needle in a Haystack, both on Amazon. My new book on the inner child will be out very soon, called Discover the Power of the Secret Within.
Devine Intervention: Inner Healing Center website.